Its Christmas...holy crap!

Thats really the only thing I can say whenever I hear the "4 more shopping days until Christmas"...HOLY CRAP! Where did 2009 go? How can so many crazy, wonderful, unexpected, life altering things in a mere 365 days? It boggles my mind that the first 6 months drug along sooo slooowly, then as soon as my son was born BAM- there flew the other 6 like I snapped my fingers. We may complain about how insane our days are, and how hectic our lives are but really ladies... we have such an incredible amount to be thankful for. To be completely filled with gratitude for. Our kids piss us off, or cost us insane amounts of money in alcohol but really...they're so worth it. Our husbands..yeah...they're dumb--but they're ridiculously loveable. I had this "AHA" moment today at the Dr's office getting my sons immunizations... there was a couple in the next room, Mom and Dad looked a total wreck with a super sick son. I gathered from the flurry of nurses around them that hospitalization and some massive testing was required on this sick little guy. 4 days before Christmas. My heart went out to them because they were literally beside themselves with worry. I sat there listening to the hubbub, holding my healthy little guy and thought "Thank you, God." because I don't think I say it, or think it enough. I think, like everyone else, I get all caught up in the wrapping and the cookies, etc and don't stop to think about how lucky we are...to have presents to wrap...to have cookies to bake...or an oven to bake them in...or a family to give them to (or hide them from because they will eat them ALL while you're not looking...) :)

I'm grateful to have you ladies reading this, sharing your thoughts with me and sharing this insanity called "motherhood" with me.

I am exceptionally grateful for my best friends (like Nanny D. herself) because I simply would not have been able to deal with this wonderful, blunderful year without them.

I could go on and on...but in case I don't get to blog before the end of the 2009...I wish you and yours the very happiest of holidays and nothing but the promise of a crazy, fabulous 2010. The best just keeps getting better, right? :)

Candy

Unspoken Bond

My daughter had been wearing the same diaper for almost 6 hours. Since it was my "emergency diaper" for the car, and no other diaper remained in a 3 mile radius, I decided it was time to go to the store.

I loaded up my three kids, including 6 socks, 3 jackets and 3 pairs of shoes, and headed to the grocery store. Once there we loaded everyone into one of those giant brightly colored shopping carts for Nanny Deprived moms. You know the ones. The big unstreamlined race cars that really need 6 wheels. They are always wobbly and have some kind of nasty bird poop or stain of some kind on the seats. They are impossible to turn and never fit down the isles quite right. And of course, every kid NEEDS to ride in them.

My personal circus and I headed in the store. Once inside we almost ran into another mom pushing the gigantic shopping cart too. She had a baby strapped to her in a Baby Bjorn and painstakingly tried to back up and navigate past an end cap to move out of our way. All I could do was laugh. She and I looked at each other and knew exactly what hell was. It was so strange to connect so instantly with someone.

Apon passing she asked me if things get easier. My youngest was probably a year older than the 3 month old strapped to her. I smiled and just shook my head. I apologized and said, "I hate to tell you this, but no."

We both continued on through the store, making faces at the babies and yelling bribes at the older kids while trying as best we could to navigate our hugantic carts through the over crowded isles. Sometimes it's nice and refreshing to see someone else in the same giant brightly colored boat I'm in.

Genes

I think I may start raising funds for a whole new type of genetic testing. Not to cure cancer, or something worthwhile mind you, but to see on which DNA strand the marker for "shopping" is. I am near positive it is an inherited trait, passed down dominantly in females- from mother to child.

If my theory is correct, then I would like to isolate and remove it. The money spent for surgical removal of said defective gene will definitely be made up by NOT going to Kohls, Gymboree or J.Crew. Maybe insurance would even cover the surgery. If we weren't shopping, our stress levels at holiday time would be reduced. People wouldn't get sick from standing out in the cold on Black Friday. Noone would risk their lives on bad roads to make it to Kohl's Night Owl deals. Not shopping most definitely has its health benefits.

Of course, there are the side effects. No "shoppers high". Is there anything else as fun (G rated, of course) as toting your wares into the house- so proud that you remembered the coupon or that you scooped up the last pair of socks in a 12-18 months? Don't you do a little dance in the dressing room when something on the clearance rack is adorable AND fits?? The thrill of the hunt...the glory of the kill (or, the "checking out" in this case...I tend to get a little carried away when talking coupons.) Its primal, I tell you. I'm helpless against it, I was born this way- I swear!

Candy

Back Seat Bitch

The open road... The wind in my hair.... Spontaneous road trips to Key West for long adult weekends filled with partying, laying on the beach drunk in my bikini and renting mopeds for days filled with shopping. Not a care in the world. I traveled in luxurous style in our Infinity QX 56. I was Queen of the car and fun roadtrips. Of course, that was "BK" (before kids).

Now? Now I'm the back seat bitch in a no-thrills minivan on family roadtrips to visit Grandma. I dole out juice boxes and desired snacks. I change, fast forward, rewind and fix scratched DVD's. I play 45 minute games of, "Where's Mommy?" with the baby and her blankie. I retrieve lost shoes, straws, games, headphones, and binkies for the kids who are strapped down disregarding my own safety. Never mind the fact I have horrible carsickness or the fact that we have 14 hours left to our destination, I keep a smile on my face, a song in my heart and numerous swear words in my head.

I guess I created the need for this minivan and now I must ride in it.

To wait in line or not?....That is the question

Christmas shopping is upon us and I feel I've been sucked in a little early this year. Vegas is a kind of blah city (once you get off the Strip, of course) so- the idea of decorating my house with something cheery appeals to me. This leads to the inevitable "What do we get everyone?"

Last year was easy...bought my daughter EVERYTHING she asked Santa for, my husband a new watch, my sister-in-law a new Coach...you get the picture. This year? We are down one income and up one diapered drooler. Since "Transition" seems to be my Word of the Year-- how does one transition from that to making one budget to stretch for TWO little people? Luckily, my daughters list for Santa this year is short...near nonexistant. She simply wants what every other child in American wants right now-- the Zhu Zhu pets. Now, I can't quite figure out if she wants them because they're cool or because everyone else wants them so- she's jumping on the bangwagon. I hear people are standing in line for these things and only some are successful. Are they really worth waiting for? Thats my inner Mommy struggle. Am I a bad mom if I don't go to the ends of the earth for a robotic hamster? Part of me thinks "Screw it...it will end up in the toybox abyss like everything else by February" and the other part says "You HAVE to do everything possible to secure one of these things--she asked SANTA!!!" Who's right? I think both halves have equal amount of merit. Has "Santa" ever substituted something comparable at your house? Those Fur Real pets are dang close to the Zhu Zhu's in my opinion... I think I would be pretty happy if one of those showed up instead of NONE electronic pet on Christmas morning. Thats adult "me"..would little girl "me" have felt the same way? Alot of me is struggling to keep "magic" and "wonder" alive in her because... I think little girls are growing up too fast these days. I don't think growing up we were near as mature as the little girls are today. Santa, and all he stands for, is one of my last-ditch efforts to keep her little as long as I can. So maybe I'll stand in line for a pet, or maybe I'll try and get one cheap at 3 am on ebay...or maybe she will get a Fur Real pet and an IOU from Santa on Christmas morning.. who knows?

Candy (Who is having trouble finding her graphic at the moment...)

I Survived

My youngest child recently turned one year old. All I have to say about this momentous occasion is that I survived the hardest year of my life so far.

I survived 4 months of little to no sleep at night while caring for three kids. There were many mini "naps" on the living room floor while baby played and toddler watched tv. There were those crazy moments of thinking, "I'm never going to know what it feels like to sleep all night again."

I survived 10 months of breastfeeding which means I was never away from my baby more than 3 hours maximum. These 10 months included your typical mastitis, nipple clots, nipple confusion yada, yada, yada.

I survived my first trip the ER with a child. There's nothing like holding down your 15 week old baby while getting an IV put in.

I survived 6 months with a very angry, thankless baby, who I was sure was going to turn out to be an axe murderer or something to that extreme. She eventually became nicer.

I survived trying to figure out nap schedules which worked with elementary and preschool drop off and pick up times.

I survived many more horrifying experiences which now elude my memory. I must say, I'm so happy this past year is over. I have to give myself a little pat on the back for enduring it all and remaining somewhat sane.

One year down... the rest of my life to go. It will get easier, right?

Parent Job Description

PARENT - Job Description

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging,
permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.


Source: One of those circling emails!

Will I Ever...

I had some deep depressing thoughts while showering today. I'm in a mommy funk.


Will I ever purchase expensive lotions and body scrubs again for myself or will I continue to use Baby Soft products?

Will my husband ever treat me to a new piece of jewelry "just because", with three college funds looming over our heads?

Will I ever be able to head out, on a whim, to catch a movie with friends without planning it three weeks in advance?

Will I ever know what's going on in our country or the world again? All the information in my head seems to be about diaper rash, which decongestants I can give to whom and what time soccer is.

Will I ever know the new top song or even new top groups out other than Disney pop stars?

Will I ever wear a dress again? Or a nightgown? Or heels? Or lipstick? Or jeans that cost more than $20?

Will I ever walk into a department store or book store and not head to the kids section right away?

Will I ever NOT get excited about a new cartoon character shaped Spaghetti-O's or chicken nuggets?

I'm up to my ears in mommyness. I just need to see the light at the end of the long dark tunnel.
I love my kids and appreciate them and know it's a short time in my life that they will be this little. But I'd just like to know it will be over at some point. I will have freedom again and be able to think about myself. Someday. I'm sure then, I'll miss them being so little. The grass is always greener... right?

Cyber Monday Coupon Codes to Mom Owned Businesses

Check out these super coupon codes to various online websites! Remember these sites are mostly owned by moms helping to support their families. Try to spend some of your holiday money with mom owned businesses!




Below you will find products in the following categories: Baby and Kids, Clothing, Handbags and Accessories for Men and Women, Hair Accessories, Gifts, Home and Garden, Jewelry, Organic Products, Pet Products and Photo Cards.



You will find 10 to 25% off products being offered, free shipping or a combination of both. Each sale begins on Cyber Monday which is November 30th this year, the Monday after Black Friday.



Most sales are only for one day unless specified elsewhere.



Make sure to use the appropriate coupon code when checking out so you can save big on items that you have been wanting to get.

I hope you enjoy the Cyber Monday list below and have fun saving!

Cyber Monday Deals and Sales 2009

Gifts for Baby and Kids

Something About Baby:

Deal: 10% off all items in the boutique.

Coupon Code: Use code SAB10. Offer expires 12/31/09


http://www.somethingaboutbaby.com



Dreamscapes Baby: Designer baby products.

Deal: 20% off

Coupon Code: Use Coupon Code: cyber

http://www.dreamscapesbaby.com




Heavenly Hold: Baby carriers, nursing pads and more:

Deal: 10% off

Coupon Code: Please use coupon code: code: NEWBABY

http://www.heavenlyhold.com



Milos Creations: Adorable Costumes for baby girls, boys, toddler


girls and boys , big kids and adults.

Deal: Free shipping on orders over $100.00,and FREE embroidered

name personalization of costumes. See Cyber Monday link for full details.

Coupon Code: Use code FREESHIP09 at checkout

http://www.miloscreations.com



Shop Baby Tree:


Deal: Store wide sale on baby products. Save up to 40% off.

Coupon Code: No coupon code needed.

http://www.shopbabytree.com



The Pitter Patter Boutique: Baby Travel Gear, Gifts for Mom and more.

Deal: 15% Discount


Coupon Code: Enter Coupon Code: CyberSave

http://thepitterpatterboutique.com/



The Crafty Moms: Girls hair accessories, binky clips, diaper wipes cases and more.

Deal: Free Shipping all day.

Coupon Code: No coupon code needed


http://www.thecraftymoms.blogspot.com/



I am the Princess: Princess and girly items for baby girls, little girls and big girls.

Deal: 15% off everything including sale items.

Coupon Code: Please use coupon code: cybermondayseog

http://www.iamtheprincess.com




Itzy Ritzy:

Deal: Celebrate Cyber Monday with 15% OFF celebrity loved

baby gear at www.ItzyRitzy.com

Coupon Code: MONDAY

http://www.itzyritzy.com



Katey Jades Baby Boutique: Christmas Clothing for kids,


personalized gifts, baby products and more.

Deal: 20% off

Coupon Code: hol20

http://www.kateyjadesbabyboutique.com



Lollipop Book Club: Children's book of the club month:

Deal: $10 off any 12-month package


Coupon Code:Please use Coupon Code: sale10off

http://www.lollipopbookclub.com/



Che Demis Boutique: Upscale and Baby boutique.

Deal: 10% off

Coupon Code: GIFT4U


http://chedemisboutique.com



Abby N Kay: Designer Baby Products: Diaper bags, crib bedding and more:

Deal: Free Shipping plus 10% off all Ride On Toys from Warehouse 36. No

coupon code need for the ride on toys.

Coupon Code: Use Code: FreeShip


http://www.abbykayboutique.com/



Merrimack Valley Diapers: Cloth Diapers and Accessories:

Deal: Good for $5 off a purchase of $50 or more plus free shipping.

Coupon Code: Please use Coupon Code CyberMonday

http://www.merrimackvalleydiapers.com




Snooty Booty Diapers:

Deal: Free shipping on any order, plus a $5 gift certificate for each $50 spent.

These offers will be inaddition to any product markdowns in the store.

Coupon Code: Use Code: cmonday

http://www.snootybootydiapers.com



Shabby Bebe: Designer Children's products


Deal: 15% off your order of $50 or more use coupon code: shabby15 and

10% off your order if less then $50 Please use code shabby10

http://www.shabbybebe.com/



Teacups and Mudpies: Trendy children's clothing, baby girl and

baby boy clothing and more.

Deal: Free shipping on all purchases.


Coupon Code: Please use coupon code: CYBER09

http://www.teacupsandmudpies.com/



Corn Bag Critters: A natural, earth-friendly, and non-toxic way to help children and adults soothe pain.

Deal: 20% off:

Coupon Code: Use coupon code: holi21109


http://www.cornbagcritters.com



Born Fabulous:

Deal: We will do free shipping on all orders.

Coupon Code: Please use coupon code:FREESHIP

http://www.bornfabulousboutique.com



Laughing Ladybugs Boutique: Couture Girls Clothing:


Deal: 10% off the entire store.

Coupon Code: Please use coupon code: CYBER10

http://www.laughingladybugsboutique.com



Little Fox Fashions: Designer Kids Shoes, Hair Bows and More!

Deal: 10% discount on all sales plus free shipping


on all orders over $100.00

Coupon Code: CYBER10

http://www.littlefoxfashions.com

Clothing, Hand Bags and Accessories for Men or Women

Get Dolled Up Boutique: Personalized and Monogrammed handbags,

diaper bags, garment bags and more.


Deal: 15% off plus Free Shipping.

Coupon Code: Please use coupon code: 15OFF

http://www.getdolledupboutique.com



QT Sunglasses: Designer Inspired Sunglasses:

Deal: FREE SHIPPING and 20% off on all orders. Free Shipping for US and Canada orders only.


Coupon Code: Please use coupon code:Cyber09

http://www.qtsunglasses.net

Gifts

Nanny Deprived: Gifts for Moms.

Deal: Free Shipping.


Coupon Code: Use coupon code: FREESHIP

http://www.nannydeprived.com



Lone Star graphics: Custom Vinyl Decals, Custom Shirts, Hats and More!

Deal: 20% off any order of $20 or more

Coupon code: cyber20


http://www.lonestargraphics.biz



Label Creations: Personalized Address Labels, Canning Labels,

Tic-Tac Labels, Bag Tags, Checkbook

Covers, Canning Labels, Bookplates, Favor tags, Note Cards,

Hang Tags for Crafters & Events

Deal: 20 % off and Free Shipping for US only.


Coupon Code: Use DISCOUNT COUPON: LC1115

http://www.labelcreations.com



Sassy Sparkle: Personalized Rhinestone Clothing:

Deal: 15% off any order

Coupon Code: cyber09


http://www.sassysparkle.com

Hair Accessories

Little Miss Julia: Hair bows, barrettes and more.

Deal:20% off everything

Coupon Code: Use coupon code: Promo20

http://littlemissjulia.com




My Bonita Boutique: Crochet Headbands, Flower Headbands,

Hair Bows and More.

Deal: 25% off all items.

Coupon Code: Please sure coupon code: cyber25

http://www.mybonitaboutique.com



Pop Tots Boutique: Fabulous hair accessories for girls and beanie hats:


Deal: Free shipping

Coupon Code: Please Use code: Cyber Monday

http://www.poptotsboutique.com/

Home and Garden

Scentsy Wickless Candles: Decorative warmers that fit into any décor and


OVER 80 FRAGRANT WAX BARS TO CHOOSE FROM.The WAX IS

WARMED BY A 15, 20, OR 25 WATT LIGHT BULB.

Deal: Free Shipping

*Email at* melturscentz@gmail.com with FREESHIP in the subject

http://www.melturscentz.com



Luxury Baby Nursery: Designer Nursery décor, Baby Furniture,


Crib Bedding and more.

Deal: 15% Off

Coupon Code: CYBERSALE

http://www.luxurybabynursery.com/

Jewelry

TLC Silver Jewelry:


Deal: 20% off Jewelry and Holders. Valid Cyber Monday only.

Coupon Code: Use coupon code: Checkout

http://www.tlcsilverjewelry.com



Caribbean Jewelz: Handmade Artisan Jewelry:

Deal: 25% off total purchase.


Coupon Code: Use coupon code: cyber60

http://www.caribbeanjewelz.com/



Pendora Pendants: Glass Tile Pendants:

Deal: 25% off all items.

Coupon Code: Please use coupon code: cybermonday.


http://www.pendorapendants.com/

Organic Products:

Tidbit Couture: Organic cloth diapers and Baby products.

Deal: Free Shipping. Plus, additional sales will be offered throughout website.

Coupon Code: Please use code: FREESHIP


http://www.tidbit-couture.com



Krave Natural: Earth Friendly products for Home, Baby and Body:

Deal: Free site wide shipping and there will also be additional savings on items throughout the

store.

Coupon Code: FREESHIP

http://www.kravenatural.com

Pet Products

Punk Luxury Dog Carriers : Buy luxury dog collars, high end

dog carriers and a Christmas costume or two for your dog.

Deal: Free Shipping for US buyers all day long.

Coupon Code: No coupon code needed


http://badasspetz.com



Photo and Greeting Cards

Fun and Sassy Designs: Modern Photo Cards and Personalized Gifts

for Adults and Kids:

Deal: Free Shipping on Orders over $50 + $15 off Orders of $99 or more through 11/30 at midnight EST

Coupon Code: Use Code: CYBER15


http://funandsassydesigns.com



Bunny Prints: Personalized Photo Cards for Birthday and

Baby Shower plus matching birthday clothing.

Deal: 10% off

Coupon Code: cyber09

http://www.bunnyprints.com




Photo Card Designs: Photo Cards for Weddings, Birthdays ,

Baby Showers and more.

Deal: Good for one day only- 5% off .

Coupon Code: Please Use Code: cybermonday

http://photocarddesigns.com




Pitter Patter Creations: Trendy birth announcements, birthday invitations,

baptism invitations and more!

Deal: Receive free shipping for orders over $30.

Only one promotional code may be used per order and cannot be combined.

May not be used on previous orders.

Coupon Code: Use coupon code: FREESHIP09


http://www.pitterpattercreations.com



Lemon Tree Cards:

Deal: 15% discount expiring 12/25/09

Coupon Code: Please use coupon code: LEMONADE

http://lemontreecards.com

Death To The Green Booger Fairy

The Green Booger Fairy visited my house last night. I would love to find her, pin her down and pluck her little wings off one by one. The only thing worse is the Pink Eye Fairy. Lord knows she's been to our house a few times. I'm just waiting for the Head Lice Fairy. I know she's around lurking in our bushes. Waiting for a good time to attack our house.

There is nothing worse than wiping your child's nose with a tissue to find a gigantic green booger that just won't stop coming out. You know what I'm talking about. You normally need three or four tissues to get it all out. Or scissors to cut it loose and give up. Not much phases me anymore. I've seen it all but those nasty green rubber band boogies just freak me out.

It's even more entertaining to see those boogies at 4am when you're awake with a severely congested kiddo. Or while in the middle of a conversation with the man in charge of "Small Businesses" at the bank. Had that happen once. I think he understood the meaning of my business name, "Nanny Deprived" at that exact moment while I kept reaching for tissues off his desk and trying to scoop out the greenness from my son's nose. I just kept talking like it was nothing while gagging and wanting to vanish on the inside.

Tis the season of the Green Booger Fairy. Wish me luck on catching her so I can do away with her for all of our sakes.

Susie F. HomeMaker

Hi ladies!!
I am so sorry that I have been slacking in the blog department. Thank God my boss (Mandy) is lenient when I either don't show up for work or come to work tipsy (heehee). Can I just "woohoo!" for a moment and state that she will be joining me here in Sunny Vegas soon so-- stay tuned for the blogging insanity when we're together. I can't wait!

Now to my post...

I think I'm starting to get a rash from being a stay at home mom. This rash is in the shape of a potholder at the end of my hand. I actually bought new potholders today because the ones I had weren't heat resistant enough and didn't match my dishes. I SO wish that I was kidding.
In the past several weeks I have purchased:
Silverware (because my nonexistant dinner guests couldn't use the mismatched crap we had)
The aforementioned potholders, with the matching dishtowels and oven mitt.
A cutting board with a colander inside it that goes over your sink
and other miscellaneous kitchen goodies like a grater and funnel.
Please note at no time did I type "Oh, and I found these cute boots!" because I haven't. I haven't even ventured into a department other than "Home"
WHO AM I? AND WHAT THE HELL HAVE I DONE WITH MYSELF????
When asked the other day what I wanted for christmas I IMMEDIATELY replied "The Temp-tations bakeware from QVC!" I nearly danced home when found some Lenox crystal wine glasses for dirt cheap at Burlington Coat Factory. My husband's aunt sent me some Halloween cupcake pans and I immediately started thinking of pumpkin shaped confections to bake. I would do unspeakably dirty things for some Calphalon cookware. (Don't tell my husband..he may google what that is and then I'll have to put my money where my mouth is)
Am I experiencing some kind of 1950's timewarp where women go from cool careerwomen to insane Susie Home-Makers??? When did I transition from "I have nothing to wear!!" to "I just don't know what to make for dinner!"
Sigh...I should go finish ironing my curtains before the dryer buzzes and wakes the baby up....

Super-Non-Pooping Mom

Everyone Poops. I've read the book and have proof. If it's written, it must be fact, right?

Well so far I know it is true. I can speak for myself, in that, I poop. There, I said it. And until I evolve into Super-Non-Pooping Mom I will continue to have to poop. And that is unfortunate in itself because every time I need to use the restroom, the chaos begins.

Take the other day, for example. I decided it was time to "go" and found activities for each of my kids to keep them occupied. The oldest was doing homework, the baby had a new toy and the toddler was watching Sponge Bob. All was good and I decided it was time.

While I was having my moment, my oldest decided to slam her book down causing the dogs to bark, causing the baby to scream, causing the toddler to run to see what had happened causing him to trip and get a boo boo on his elbow.

I sat screaming in the bathroom, "What was that?" "What happened?" "Who's crying?" "Who's not crying?" "Why are the dogs barking?" Absolute mayhem, as normal.

I emerged from the bathroom, holding up my pants, hands unwashed, trying to figure out who to help first.

I hope I evolve quickly into Super-Non-Pooping Mom. It would come in rather handy but I imagine I'd be quite bloated.

And the Winner is...

The Monkey's Mama has won the Bumpy Name Orbit Lables! She's been contacted and we are so excited for her.

WE'll have another give away very soon. Thanks to all who participated!

Amanda

My Seo Gal's Blog Hop - Bumpy Name Orbit Label Give Away

Welcome to Nanny Deprived, the blog! Time to get out your martinis ladies! It's a Blog Hop!

I'm sure drinking mine!!

Please take a look around the wonderful world of being Nanny Deprived. Candy and myself enjoy writing about the chaos that is, being a mom. We hope you'll read some of our latest posts and sit back and enjoy.

Now, lets talk about the all important give away!

Nanny Deprived will be giving away one of our favorite products from our store: Nanny Deprived - the Inchbug Bumpy Name Orbit Label 4 pack. The lucky winner will get to pick from their favorite color, choose their name and icon and have it shipped to them at our expense.

These are perfect for keeping tabs on your kids drinks, bottles, sippy cups. They are removable, washable and
just a great product. Perfect for daycare, preschool, soccer practice, playgroups or anytime.


How to enter:

1) Leave a comment on your favorite Nanny Deprived product from our store.
2) Become a follower of this blog and let us know in a comment.
3) Fan us on Facebook and let us know in a comment.
4) Visit our ongoing story contest and vote and let us know which story you voted for.

Feel free to post daily to give yourself more chances to win.
The prize will only be shipped to an address in the Continental US. We will choose a winner by random number generator on Oct. 21. Winner will be notified by email (make sure we have access to your email).

Be sure to take a look around at all the other great blogs doing give aways below!

The Great Tic Tac Debacle of 09

It all started with a little plastic box of Tic Tacs. What harm could come from that?

I'll tell you. My daughter became the back seat Tic Tac Tyrant. She felt the power of the red and yellow tic tacs. I often heard crying and begging because my son was unable to get any red tic tacs. It was Tic Tac mayhem.

And then, one day, it happened. A Tic Tac Coup d'état. My son took that little plastic box while his big sister was at school and felt a little tinge of the power it induced.

From that point on, it was all out Tic Tac war. There was yelling, hitting, tantrums, but I must say; minty fresh breath all along. Finally we came to the Great Tic Tac Treaty. A compromise was reached and now I must buy two boxes of tic tacs from now on. Stupid me to believe my kids could share something.

I Voted In the Nanny Deprived Story Contest

The newest story contest is up here: Mom Story Contest. Make sure you vote for your favorite daily and come back and retweet this post! WoOt!

The Needy Mom

Hi! I'm Candy. Our children have the remote possibility of having something in common besides eating and sucking air.... would you be my friend?????
Thats me.
ALL THE DAMN TIME.
Im like the poster child for women who moved and need friends. I find myself at my daughters elementary school, scoping out the "normal" looking mothers. The ones with clean kids or all their teeth. The ones who maybe, just maybe, might want to be my friend. I get my best smile on and try my best to wipe the spitup off my shoulder. I threaten my two month old not to cry (kidding) and tell him to act cute for attention. I'm like a dude who uses his niece or nephew to pick up chicks. Only much more desperate and better intentioned. I lack that essential girlfriend to come over and drink wine with me, or go to the mall with, or just call and be catty with. Oh, how I love the catty calls. I can call any number of East Coast friends and do those things. But dropping everything and flying 5 hours is a bit much just to come scrapbook with me for a few hours. Remember when we were young and in school? It was SO EASY to make friends. Even in college, you popped open a beer or some cheap Zinfindel and voila! Friends!!! Now its all about the approach and the things in common and the blah blah blah. Why cant we just say "Hey! I require adult interaction! Give me your number and I might cook you dinner?" Too forward? I thought so. Too bad I never had any "game" in the dating world, so I sure as heck dont have any in the "score some Mommy friends"world. Sigh...


I totally scored a number today though... she said she would go for coffee with me. Do I call her right away or wait a few days to call so I dont seem too desperate?

The Witching Hours

"Treasure these times." "These years go by so fast." "Where does the time go?"

I'll tell you where the time goes. A documented 54 extra minutes are added between the hours of 3 and 6pm. That's the time when I feel every single tick of the clock, not to mention the extra minutes I swear are there. Those are the Witching Hours at my house. My angelic three kids turn into little demons torturing me with their demands and commands.

"I HATE HOMEWORK."
"WIPE MY BUTT!"
"AAHHHHGGGGOOOOOO!"

That's all I hear. I usually end up cornered by my little spawns in the kitchen, shielding myself with the refrigerator door. I can fend them off for a few minutes by throwing some Gogurts and an assortment of fruit juices at them. I remain, in the kitchen corner, frightened, hoping that something on the TV will spark their curiosity and they'll leave me. I sit there, counting the never ending ticks of the clock, waiting for my noble knight in shining armor, on his steed (or silver Ford Taurus) to come and rescue me and turn my little beasts back into themselves. All they need is a fresh body full of energy to revitalize them. Once he bursts through the door, peace is restored and the clock continues to move at a normal rate.

So, yes, the years go by so fast. It's the minutes between 3pm and 6pm that drag on and on and on.

My husband thinks I'm evil

I feel slightly bad writing this post to follow that very poignant post from Amanda regarding 9/11. All "me me me" when the previous issue was so much larger than any one of us. I hope the families of those affected by the tragedies are healing and finding peace.

Ok, time for some humor (generally at my expense..)

So, sleep depravation does crazy things to people. Apparently it is turning me into some horrific demon. Case in point, the hamster (aka, the thing I never wanted and had brought into my home against my will) got loose the other morning. This particular morning, my son decided that intemittent sleep throughout the night was a great idea. Needless to say I was tired. Dead tired. The hamster decided captivity was simply not for her so, after weeks of planning.. she sprung loose from her pink prison. Amazingly, we didn't find her spread eagle on the bathroom floor as she had to take quite the leap from the top of the vanity. Anyways, my ex-husband discovers this when he came to take my daughter to school. He alerts my husband and father so there are 3 grown men in search of teeny "Sally", even calling for her like a dog. None of them will admit to this but, my daughter told me its true. Apparently they searched for quite some time but to no avail. Later in the morning I discover this and develop extreme paranoia that she's just waiting around a corner, or in a heating vent to attack me. The conversation then goes as follows:
Me: "Why didnt you wake me earlier to help?"
Husband: "Your dad asked the same thing and I told him that if we woke you, you would find it with some heat seeking superpower, rip its tiny heart out and then eat its soul."
Me: "WHAAAAAAA? Am I that bad? Am I that tired?"
Husband: "Yes. Its best not to wake you."
Wow. I've gone from "Good Morning Mommy!" to "Don't wake mommy! She'll eat your soul!"
Perhaps instead of some energy drinks, an exorcism is in order?

Either way, I need some uninterrupted sleep.

Remembering 9/11

I know this blog is dedicated to the crazy life of moms but I feel it's important to take a moment to remember 9/11. I've joined the MckLinky Blog Hop for this week because I plan to read other peoples stories and memories about that day.

I was teaching that day. I had a large class of 5th graders and we were going over social studies. My teacher's aid walked in with a weird look in her eye. I remember being annoyed that she was interrupting me and then she whispered in my ear, "Two planes just hit the World Trade Towers in NYC. The US is under attack." My first question was, what kind of plane. My husband had left that morning for a business trip, on a plane. When she said they were commercial planes, my heart dropped. I wanted to run out of the room and see what was going on but I knew I had to protect the kids in my classroom. I told my aid to go get more information for me and I kept going on with my lesson.

A few minutes later we went to specials. In the hall all of the teachers were looking at each other trying to read each other's faces to see what they may know. Was anyone crying, what was going on? Every minute hurt me. Once my students were at art class I remember running down the hall to my classroom. I turned on the news just in time to see the first tower crumble to the ground. I just stood there, alone, dumbfounded. I ran to the office and saw a line of people waiting to use the phone. I stood there not talking to anyone. Finally when it was my turn, I dialed my husbands cell phone and got his voice mail. I left a message and walked back to my room. I watched the second tower fall minutes before I had to go get my kids.

I continued the day. I was unable to continue with my lessons. I got out the play doh and let the kids just color or read. Many parents started to come to get their kids out of school. When they came to the classroom, I would ask them what they knew. I would get little bits of information throughout the day. The kids of course knew something was going on and kept asking. I remember telling them that something bad had happened in our country. I told them to discuss it with their parents. I didn't want to be the one to tell them. I couldn't.

As soon as the day ended, I ran to my car and just started to cry and cry. I must of sat in the parking lot for an hour crying. During that time I got a call from one of my best friends who told me that my husband had gotten a hold of him. His plane had been diverted to Cincinnati but he was ok. He had been trying to call me all day but couldn't get through. With that news, I thought I could at least drive myself home.

Once home I remember watching the news all night. My husband was able to call. He rented a car and started to drive from Cincinatti to Florida. He was home in a few days and I'd never been so happy to see him.

Such a sad day in our country's history. Being around kids, trying to hide my fear and not being able to know exactly what was happening was so hard. I'll always remember those who lost their lives that day.

What's your memory of that day?

Deep Thoughts of a 10 Month Old

If I could hear the thoughts of my 10 month old, this is what she is thinking...



Do not go anywhere. I'm just going to keep pinching your leg to make sure you are still here.

Who is that crazy boy and why is he sitting on your lap? You are MY mommy.

Mommy, stay right here. Don't move and don't go anywhere. I just need to check out that little shiny peice of paper. Don't move!

I'm getting parched. Lift up your shirt woman.

I see you trying to get up and walk away. You will feel my wrath if you do. Do NOT leave me.

Who is this man that is always trying to hold me? He is not mommy.

Mommy, stay very still. I'm about to use your clothes and my razor sharp fingernails to pull myself up to a standing position. Stay very still because I need to do it at least 25 times.

Clap for me mommy. You're not looking at me. Clap. Clap I say.

I'm pretty happy here just holding my pencil eraser and spider man toy, spinning around and around and around on my butt. This feels so cool. Pivot. Pivot. Hee hee!

Open Apology to Stay at Home Mothers

Dear Stay at Home Mothers Everywhere,
I'm sorry.

There- I said it.

I am so exceptionally sorry for talking about you, and being jealous of your "luxurious" existence. I had no clue and for that, you are owed an apology. Your job is harder than it looks.
Prior to the birth of my son I thought " Stay at home mothers can't possibly have a tough time. What the heck am I going to DO all day?" HA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! My days have never gone by so quickly!!! I don't even know what day it is, let alone what time. For the record, its 11:42 pm and I haven't finished putting the groceries away, the dishwasher isn't loaded for its nightly washing and I still have 3 loads of laundry left to finish. I no longer have a set "to do" list..its more like a "fly by the seat of your pants" experience. Here's what I did today (in no particular order): 6 loads of laundry, 2 children bathed, 1 child to and from school, 6 diaper changes, battled infant to drink one bottle of poop inducing apple juice, sent 1 sorely neglected husband off to work, changed 2 sets of sheets, cooked 3 meals and prepped one for tomorrow, grocery shopped for 1 hour. I'm exhausted and yet, it feels like I did nothing. How do you ladies do it? Perhaps some of you veterans need to offer a boot camp for rookies. People need to be informed before signing up for this...it certainly ain't for sissies.

In It To Win It

I'll admit it. I frequently cheat at kids games. I've been known to stack the cards at Candy Land or to tell a little white lie during Go Fish. My three year old can't count so I can totally tell him 32 is bigger than 43 druing Big Fish, Little Fish. No harm no foul.

If I'm going to take time out to play a game I had better win. I know, many of you are thinking badly of me. But my kids are tough competitors. They try super hard and love it even more when they do win. They even love it more when they catch me cheating and call me out on it. I don't baby them. They know how to loose. When they loose they just want to try again and I love that. One day, they'll cheat better than me and take me down. Until then I'll just keep beating them with the occasional free win to keep the taste of victory in their greedy little mouths.

Anyone up for some Chutes and Ladders? Muhwaha!

Sin(less) City

Greetings from Fabulous Las Vegas!

I thought I knew motherhood..I thought I was pretty dang good at it. Single, working motherhood agreed with me. I had a great job that enabled me to travel, a well balanced 5 year old daughter and a closet stuffed with Juicy Couture. I enabled an employees termination from my blackberry while on a ride at Disneyland once. Who could possibly want more from life? Not so much a matter of "who" exactly but of "what". My biological clock...thats what. My apparently deeply buried need to be domestic and sign up for another c-section about two and a half months after my whirlwind, impromptu marriage in Vegas to my best friend turned love-of-my- life ..thats what. DOH!!
Fast forward to now, 5 months after I lost aforementioned good job (Thanks economy!) 5 weeks post birth of new baby boy and 2.5 weeks post move cross country from Orlando to Las Vegas, NV. My title has gone from "Working Mommy of 1" to "Stay at home Mommy of 2". Had you told me this would be my reality a year ago, you would have gotten a (very well-manicured) finger response.
I'm learning that Mommy-hood in Sin City may be even more of a challenge than regular old Mommy-hood. (Regular! HA!) For example, the other night I was pushing my infant down the Strip (yes.. I wanted to get out of the house so we went to visit Daddy at work) and an old man walks up to me and yells "You are a bad mother! You bring your child to Las Vegas????" I gasp. He makes the Catholic "sign of the cross" on himself and walks away. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? At first I felt guilty (because thats what "bad" Catholics feel when confronted with "good" Catholics, right?)
Then I thought "Hey buddy! I'm bringing my baby to visit his dad on his lunch hour!! Isn't that what everyone in Vegas does? Spends quality family time while slot machine's chime and roulette tables click?" On second thought, I'm kind of glad I didn't get to defend myself. I know what I'm doing... or do I?

Thanks for reading my first blog post.. I'm extremely excited to join Amanda in blogging madness!

A Re-Birth

My business has been booming and I'm wonderfully excited and greatful. However I've been neglecting someone very special to me. I like to consider my blog my 4th child.

I've been there for it through sickness and health. My blog stood by me during the great Miracle Blanket debacle. I've raised it, beautified it, brought it out into the world and now I feel just awful at how I've been treating it. It's been a great blog, bringing me visitors, sales, and most of all smiles to my face from all of the great comments.

As I can't let it go, I've decided to give it a re-birth by inviting one of my greatest friends to write on it. I'm so excited to introduce my great friend Candy who will be guest writing on Nanny Deprived - The Blog.

Grandma Detox

It's day 5 of Grandma detox. My mother in law left on Monday. The kids took it hard. There was a fair amount of shaking and rolling around on the floor.

We had to relearn the meaning of the word "no" again. The kids didn't understand why I didn't spring up out of my chair to top off their juice cups. Snacks were not delivered to them the precise moment they asked for them. And most important of all, they couldn't comprehend why they didn't get ice cream every night.

I'm happy to report they are slowly returning to their pre-grandma visit selves. It's been a hard journey but we are almost there.

Four Day Old Cheese Dip

Here I sit. Exhausted from a long day of teething, first days of school, and a bored toddler. They've all gone to bed. The music choice 90's channel is on and I'm rocking out to some old Whitney Houston. I just got to sit down to eat my dinner at 9:30pm. Four day old cheese dip and slightly stale tortilla chips is my delicious dinner. I'm in my rocking chair watching the heat lightning out the window. Sometimes things can be so right. That or I'm just really tired and everything seems so perfect.

I HATE Laundry

I know. Big shock. Another mom blogger writing about the hell that is laundry. I think the reason everyone hates it so much is the fact that it never ends.

I'm going to invent eco friendly disposable clothes. They can be made out of tissues or something. Maybe hemp. Once you wear them you just throw them away. I love it.

Is it bad that I don't get my baby dressed unless we are leaving the house. She just roams around in a diaper because it's less laundry. I know. I'm ashamed.

Alright, here I go to do another load. Blah.

Back to School Contest

Back to school. Back to school. To prove to Dad that I'm no fool. Got my shoes tied up tight. Hope I don't get in a fight.

The first person to comment and tell me where the above song is from gets a free bottle of MomSpit to clean up those little faces! I'm feeling a little bit crazy today. Maybe it's the caffeine. Maybe it's the lack of sleep but I've been singing the above song all day in tribute to my daughter going back to school.

I can only afford to ship to the continental US so please do not enter if I can't ship to you.

Happy Back to School Season Everyone!

Time to Spice it Up!

When you've been doing the same dirty chore the same way for a very long time it obviously get's old. The only thing you can do is try something a little bit different, a little crazy, to spice things up. It's time to break the monotony for my sanity and my husband sake.

My oldest daughter is soon turning 6. Although it's very monumental all I can think about is the fact that I've been changing diapers for 6 very long years. Don't get me wrong, my daughter is potty trained. I've just had kids so close together that I've always had one in diapers. I've decided it's time to spice things up.

On a crazy internet whim, I bought a set of gDiapers, liners and flushable liners. I felt these were the best choice for myself because I just can't keep up with laundry so I knew I couldn't do cloth diapers.

I just got my huge box of gDiapers yesterday. I have to say, they are mighty cute. My daughter's hiney looks darn cute in cloth diapers. Especially the pink frilly ones. I couldn't resist. They seem breathable and comfy on her too.

gDipers are a "hybrid" diaper which means they aren't quite cloth and aren't quite disposable. They are cloth outer diapers with a flushable liner. So far, pretty good. I did clog the toilet once today with a wet diaper. I do like the fact that I can flush the dirty diapers. No more stinky Diaper Genie. No more dogs scoring a fresh treat. Sorry, but "it" happens.

Let's hope this is the little change I need. I hope this tiny amount of change gets me through the next two years I have left of diaper changing hell.

Can I Get Some of That?

Yesterday I took my kids to Dinosaur camp in the morning, we rode bikes outside for two hours while the baby slept and then went to the pool for another three hours. While driving back from the pool my son asked, "Mom, what are we going to do when we get home"? I felt like saying, "Honey, mommy's going to drink a rum and diet coke and pass out on the couch. I don't care what you do as long as the baby isn't choking and you are all quiet".

Where do these kids get this energy and where can I get some? I'm trying very hard to wear my kids out but all I'm doing is wearing myself out. The more I do with them the more they expect. They are becoming activity greedy little monsters.

Maybe I need another "don't leave the house, stay in pj's all day", day. Then maybe they'll appreciate a few hours at the pool or camp in the morning. But then I'll be pulling my hair out listening to, "I'm bored".

What's the lesser of two evils? Being exhausted from running around like a crazy mom or listening to my kids fight and be bored? I can't decide.

Reusable Sandwich Bags – Not Just For Sandwiches

Our society has made a push for using reusable things to reduce waste and production and clean up our environment. Although this is a wonderful reason for making new reusable items, it’s also reason to celebrate because these items are great for other purposes.

Reusable sandwich and snack bags can be used for multiple purposes. They are more durable than their cheap plastic counterpart and can be washed easily. Reusable sandwich bags can be used for the following purposes:

• Storing extra batteries in the car to replace headphone batteries or hand held game batteries
• Carrying crayons to restaurants
• Storing game cartridges for hand held games
• Carrying a pacifier at an easy reach in a diaper bag – keeps it clean and germ free
• Keeping coins or game tokens for your next trip to an arcade
• A place to store hair bows, rubber bands, barrettes for hair
• First aid kit – add band-aids, medicine, bug sting stick, first aid cream
• Great for holding makeup – can be washed easily
• Holding small toiletries such as toothbrush, travel toothpaste, travel mouthwash and shampoo

As you can see, the possibilities for reusable sandwich bags are endless. Of course, they are also useful for what they are intended. Carrying a snack or sandwich inside is perfect. Sandwiches stay fresh and uncrumpled. Kids associate their snack with their bag and automatically know which snack is theirs. The bags make snacks more appealing and fun to eat from.

One household can spend as much as $300 a year in plastic sandwich bags. Purchasing reusable sandwich bags can save money and decrease waste and production. Most reusable sandwich bags are currently produced by small business, many work at home seamstresses. Supporting these hardworking woman and men and ending up with a very usable, green product is a win-win situation.

We are currently running a sale on our bags with FREE SHIPPING! Hurry - this is for a limited time.

Top 10 Things to do on a Rainy Day

There is nothing worse than a house full of bored, energetic kids on a rainy day. Having a few activities for rainy days on hand will reduce their boredom, reduce tension and anger and make for a much happier day. It's important to keep these activities on reserve for just rainy days. If you do them all the time, it won't be as special on a rainy day. Keep some activities just for those cloudy wet days.

Activity 1 - Play-Doh Mouse House
Every house should have a few cans of play-doh around. You can create your own or buy some from the store. Kids love to create with play-doh but when they are given a task it becomes much more fun and imaginative, especially for younger kids who may not know exactly what to do. Tell your kids to design a house for a mouse. They can make little couches, TV's inside the house. The house can just be walls and rooms, not necessarily a 3D structure. Let the kids explore and imagine. The kids can even make mice to live in the house.

Activity 2 - Create a Fort
Forts can be made out of anything around the house. Don't only make a fort but give the kids something to do inside such as watch a movie, color a picture or read a book with a flashlight. They then have a goal to accomplish once the fort is created.

Activity 3 - Make a Movie
Most households have camcorders. Keep a blank tape or DVD around for rainy days. Let your kids create a story to be made into a movie. Have them collect props, costumes and whatever else they need. Do a few dress rehearsals before the "taping". This rainy day activity will turn into a cherished memory years to come.

Activity 4 - Crafts
Keep a small Tupperware box full of craft things in your house for rainy days. You can buy these things on clearance or at the dollar store throughout the year. Buy wooden pegs or blocks to paint. Foam stickers are fun to create designs and pictures out of. Construction paper, scissors and glue are great for making masks or puppets.

Activity 5 - Board Games
You can find board games on sale at local toy stores around Christmas. Games are now available for children of all ages and levels. Purchase a few and keep them in your rainy day cupboard and only get them out for rainy days. New toys or games keep kids excited and interested. Play together as a family and come up with a prize for the winner.

Activity 6 - Paid Jobs
This kills two birds with one stone! Make a chart of jobs to be done around the house and the amount you'll pay to have them done. These can be easy jobs like dust or put laundry away. They can be more difficult like give the dog a bath or empty the dishwasher. All should be age appropriate. Kids will be eager to work around the house if they know they will get paid.

Activity 7 - Teach Your Children How to Use the Computer
Make a power point presentation on a topic of your child's choice. Teach them how to copy and paste things. Play on the internet on various children websites such as www.noggin.com. Teach your child how to use paint or any other painting application. This knowledge will be extremely valuable later on in life.

Activity 8 - Old Fashion Games
A great rainy day activity is to play some old fashioned games. Hide and Seek, Kick the Can, Red light Green Light, What Time is it Mr. Fox. Duck Duck Goose, I Spy, Four Corners, Hot Potato and Keep Away are just a few or the classic games. You can google the games for directions.

Activity 9 - Tell Nursery Rhymes
So many kids today don't know the old nursery rhymes of yesteryear. Get out a good Nursery Rhyme book or you can get one from the Library and share some good old fashioned tales with your kids. To make it even more fun, have your kids choose a character and act it out while reading it. Your kids will understand the story even better and get out some of their extra energy on a rainy day.

Activity 10 - Symmetrical Painting
Use some white computer print paper and some paint. Fold the paper in half and only let your kids paint on one half. When they are finished fold the paper and press firmly. When the kids open it up they'll see their beautiful designs. You can cut the paper into heart shapes or butterflies. Be sure to teach them the term symmetrical as this is a great teachable moment!

Wake Up Baby!

My world revolves around my daughter's naps. I love the fact that she naps so well and she's on such a great schedule. I shouldn't complain because I know some of my great readers, who have kids who hate to nap are probably putting a hex on me right now. BUT, I hate the fact that I'm stuck at home with my two older kids between the hours of 9-11 and 1:30-3:30. Thankfully I have just enough time to get out for lunch or a trip to the grocery store.

I hated seeing the end of naps for my older kids, but with that sadness came a sense of freedom. I no longer had to drive frantically home from a play date with the windows open and radio blaring (I know you've done it) to keep my toddler awake until we got home for nap time. I could peruse the mall and not care what time it was. We could linger at the grocery store or a friends house.

Not anymore. I've started all over with baby number 3 and what's worse is I'm back to two naps a day with two bored older kids. I know what you are thinking, just let her sleep in the car or stroller. Well, you haven't met "Angry Baby." When my baby gets off her schedule, she reverts to her old nick name. You don't want to feel the wrath of Angry Baby. So, I sit here for four hours a day, stir crazy, entertaining the older kids.

Not Your Average Snack

I need to give a shout out to the food manufacturing industry. When my first daughter was born Gerber came out with Puffs, the little melt in your mouth snacks for babies. I thought those were the greatest thing in the world and so did she. I used to refer to them as "Baby Crack." Today my youngest daughter bats those away when she sees them. Those are nothing compared to the food that's out there today for babies.


It's wonderful. Gerber has made Melt Aways, little yogurt dried snacks that melt in your mouth. They also have Lil' Cruncher which are almost like a semi-nutritious cheese puff chip. My all time favorite snack are the Mum Mums which are like a puff shaped like a big stick. They are clean, and easy for the baby to hold. I love them.



As a busy mom of three with a very independant baby, I salute you food manufacturers. These snacks have given me time to unload the dishes from the dishwasher, put groceries away and check the occasional email. I love products that make my life a tad easier.

Mediocre Mom

I got to watch 5 minutes of Oprah today. That's all of the allotted tv time I get these days between Hannah Montana and Noggin. I usually only get to tune in just to see the topic I'm going to miss before all of the complaints come rolling in.

Today they were discussing Motherhood. There were two perfect looking moms talking about the demands of motherhood and how so many moms weren't able to meet those demands and how most moms were not happy with their role.

It made me think about the amount of pressure put on moms these days. So many moms try to have the perfect kids and perfect life. They dress them all up and expect them to be angels. They drive them to every lesson known to man and expect them to succeed. They cook perfectly balanced meals and expect their kids to eat them. They make all the crafts, and have playgroups and playtime. They read all the expected books. But they can never achieve perfection. It's not possible.

I'm not out to be the perfect mom and I think if that's your goal, you're going to fail miserably. Those darn little kids get in the way of being able to be a perfect mom. I'm pretty happy with being a half-ass mom. I do the best I can and I laugh at the parts I'm not good at. For example, my cooking skills. I'm also really bad at reminding my kids to brush their teeth. I could go on and on.

My kids aren't going to be dressed perfectly with matching shoes and accessories. They aren't going to act properly all the time. They aren't going to succeed at every sport, or lesson known to man. They probably won't get perfect grades or always have their homework done on time. Lord knows, I'm not always going to be composed. But they will be loved and will know how to love and I think that's the most important thing I can do for them. They will also have a great sense of humor.

I'm glad I didn't get to see the whole hour of Oprah. I would rather let my kids watch too much tv and be a bad, happy mom than listen to the depressed overachievers who have failed at being perfect. My message for you? Strive for being mediocore mom and be happy. You'll be perfect in your kids eyes.

Why Can't I Finish the Laundry?

Today I've decided to write about the vicious cycle of - one moment I need to refill some juice.

Where was I? Oh yes, the vicious cycle of laundry. Why is it that I never seem to be able to finish even one load a day? Oopps - hang on, I have a hiney that needs wiping.

I'm back. Sorry for that. Back to my discussion and deep thoughts. Oh wait, I hear the baby up from her nap. She's probably hungry.

Here I am again. Laundry. It's a vicious never-ending cycle that I hate. For some reason, I always forget to put the laundry in the dryer and when I return to it - the next day, it's all moldy smelling. So I normally have to wash it again.

Sorry for the interruption but I need to entertain my BORED kids. Maybe I'll tap dance for them. Geesh.

Alright, deep thoughts on laundry. Dang it - now the kids want lunch. Off to spoon feed the baby just to have her spit it out at me and laugh which creates more laundry.

Back again. I think I'm just going to forget about the laundry for today. And about writing about laundry. It just isn't that important today.

Strage Encounters

I had two strange encounters with strangers this past week. The first started one morning when I was completely without kids just running a few errands. I decided to go visit my hang out, Dunkin Doughnuts. I bought some doughnuts for the kids, some bagels for myself and my husband and two coffees. I was walking out to my car and a woman stopped me and asked if I needed help.

Most people would be thankful which I was. But I was also shocked that someone stopped to try to help me when I simply had my hands full. I felt like telling her, "I'm a mom of three, this is nothing."

Now last night, I had more than my hands full. I took my kids to IHOP for dinner by myself. Everything went great until we finished and my son told me he needed to go potty. I grabbed the baby and my older daughter and we went to the restroom. Both older kids went into a stall and I just had that feeling in my stomach this was going to end badly. About two minutes later I heard, "Mommy, I pooped. You need to wipe my butt." At that moment, a woman entered the bathroom. I said to her, "Can you hold my baby while I wipe my son's butt?" She was a little taken aback by my rashness but she smiled and held out her arms for my daughter.

It was weird of me. I know that. You normally don't throw your baby at a stranger but desprite times call for desprite measures. It was that or sit my baby down on the floor of the bathroom. What would you have done?

It's strange to have the help of strangers. I almost feel offended when people offer me help and I don't need it yet, I'm so thankful when I find people willing to help out when I do need it. It is nice to know that there are nice, helpful people in the world. Especially for a mom of three with a son with a poopy butt.

Toot My Own Horn

Not to toot my own horn but I wanted to share some new products Nanny Deprived has just started selling. I think these are ingenious, both invented and produced by moms, of course.

In every playgroup there is one. I like to refer to them as "The Cup Snatcher." You know what I'm talking about. The kid who likes to take a sip out of everyone else's cup. I'm not sure why they do it. Maybe it's curiosity or maybe they just don't know which cup is theirs. If you own a "Cup Snatcher", or are in a playgroup with one, then this product is for you.

These little plastic bands known as BumpyName Orbit Labels by Inchbug, and are engraved with your own personalization and stretch to fit on any baby bottle, sippy cup, sports bottle and anything in between. Fully microwavable and dishwasher safe, they come in four different colors and are only $12.95 for a 4 pack. It's a super idea for kids who go to daycare, playgroups or anywhere there may be other kids around. The bands allow your child to know and recognize their own cup easily.

Our next momtastic product is Reusable Sandwich or Snack Bags by Resnackit. Available in two sizes and many fabric choices, these bags are lined, washable and oh so cute. Great for sandwiches, chips, goldfish, bagels, crayons, small game cartridges, makeup or anything else you would nomally throw in a ziploc bag. Most moms spend over $300 a year on plastic sandwich bags. Save yourself some money and help out the planet by purchasing some reusable bags.

There you have it. Some fantastic products to help every mom be more momtastic! We'll continue to work hard to find more fun and functional products for moms!

Nicadism

I left a comment on a friends blog today and Nicadism was the "word" I had to enter for the word verification. It left me wondering...what is Nicadism?

Perhaps its a condition where you chronically cut yourself during shaving leaving nics all over. Or maybe it's a medical condition where you have a blockage of brain functions due to watching too much Nickelodeon. Could it be the act of over dosing on Nicoderm gum? I like to think of it as a very quick trip to Nicaragua.

I think I may need to go back to work soon.

Why Do We Do This?

Going out to eat with three kids is pure hell. I don't know why I continue to put myself through this hell. Come Friday, I want to go out. Come Friday night, I vow to never do it again. It's a vicious cycle I can't break. It reminds me a lot of my drinking binges in college except there is little alcohol involved.

My husband and I celebrated our 8th anniversary at our old favorite restaurant - Bahama Breeze. Having no family nearby or good babysitters on hand, we decided to bring the kids and sit outside near the bar. We thought it would be less formal and easier with the kids. Once my son's slushie hit the ground and burst, I could sense the hate in the room aimed at me and my family. All the happy hour, working class, 20-something kids were staring at us with pure hate. I could tell they wanted our loud kids and screaming baby out of their space.

So, it's back to Fudruckers, Chuck-E-Cheese and on special nights, Chili's for us. Having a video game on the premises is a requirement in our dining establishments. If there are no waitresses or waiters, that's an even bigger plus. The menu must consist of some sort of deep fried chicken and fries or else it's just not within our scope.

Maybe for our 16th anniversary we can try Bahama Breeze again. Without kids. And with lots of alcohol.

The Magic of the Magic Eraser

A friend of mine mentioned that she needed to clean her baseboards of her house. I had an instant heart attack realizing that you are supposed to do that. For weeks it's been on my mind. One of those things on your to-do list you can't get rid of.

Today my 5 year old started complaining about how she was so bored. There was nothing to do. At that second, a light bulb went off. I showed her the "coolest thing ever" - the Magic Eraser. I told her how it was awesome at cleaning off dirt. I gave her a bucket full of warm water and some cleaning solution and the magic eraser and told her to try it out on the baseboards.

As I type, she's half way around the kitchen talking about how great it works. She has even asked if she can wipe the stains off the pantry door. I'm silently snickering to myself about how gullible she is. She hasn't realized she's been bamboozled into doing my dirty job. It's moments like this you realize how great having kids can be!

100th Post!

This celebrates my blogs 100th post!

I feel like I should bake a big cake or something like they do on t.v. when series get to their 100th episode. Only thing is I'm too tired to bake or do anything special. I've spent all day pinning my kids down to squirt pink eye drops into their eyes. I also had a fun trip to the vet to pick up my dogs. Nothing like driving down the highway with three kids and two dogs. It's even more fun when one dog jumps in the baby's lap while your driving. Chaos. Pure and simple chaos. But then, that's what my blog is all about.

So, I'll take the easy road and invite you to read some of my favorite posts. Nothing like recapping as an easy way out.

Check these out:

The difference between the first and third baby

My followers

The Difference Between Boys and Girls

Toddler Boot Camp