Thursday, December 30, 2010

Resolutions, Schmezolutions...

Happy Holidays Nanny Deprived Mama's!!!
We trust that the season, shopping, weather, wrapping, families, wine, Santa photos, greeeting cards, wine, cleaning, baking and wine has you completely frazzed and secretly thankful its over...atleast til it sneaks around again in 10 more months.
This year has seemed to me like a holding pattern...like I've just been bumming around here waiting for something fabulous and maybe- JUST MAYBE 2011 has what I've been waiting for. Its kind of inspiring me to be a better me, a better mama and just--do things better. What sort of resolutions do you make (and break?) each year or are you just DYING to resolve to do something and actually MAKE IT HAPPEN?
This year I am going to do the following:
I WILL have a date night- even if its just a movie night at home- with my DH every other week.
I WILL clean my blinds regularly.
I WILL start cooking with low-fat items and maybe even less butter...but that I can't promise without very gradual decline over time.
I WILL get the kids rooms painted and decorated before Feb 1st (its only been 6 months since we moved in...)
I WILL keep my bedroom toy and child free so we can have an "adult only" space. *Middle of the night bad dreams do not apply.
I WILL continue to whack at my credit card debt and pay everything with debit. If thats not possible then I don't need it.

How about you ladies? What will you absolutely positively do better this year?

-Candy

Sunday, December 12, 2010

I Caught Santa



I'm a bit teary eyed at the idea of this being the last Christmas my kids may believe in Santa. I will never ever tell my kids that there is no such thing as Santa because I really believe that the magic of the holidays is in fact, the true Santa.

I am so extremely careful when preparing my Christmas. I keep all of the Santa gifts hidden in a separate place, I use different wrapping paper for Santa gifts and I never write on the packages because I don't want them to wonder why my hand writing is the same as Santa's. I just don't want to be the one to ruin it for them.

I've found a wonderful website that makes it all a little more magical. Please take a peek at www.icaughtsanta.com. This website allows you to impose a posing Santa anywhere in your house, even your fireplace. Imagine telling your kids that you are going to prove to them there is a Santa and capture this picture to show them Christmas morning.

The fun folks at www.icaughtsanta.com are going to give us some free codes to use for a free photo of your own.

In order to win one of the codes simply go to their site and take a peek at the different Santa poses you can use in your own photo and tell us which one you like the best or which one you would use. Then comment with your email address. We'll pick a few lucky winners on Sat the 18th and email them their code to make their own Santa photo.

Not feeling lucky? Or maybe you just want to start right now. Use this code for 25% off the purchase price of a photo - NANNY-DEPRIVED

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Freeloading Babies

I think it's time I start charging rent to all the freeloading babies around my house. Everywhere I step, I find another one. I could make some serious money.


I guess that's what you get with a two year old in your house!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Cyber Monday Deals - Boutiques!

Cyber Monday 2010 Deals

Below is a list of Special deals being offered by online boutiques on Black Friday and Cyber Monday. So make sure to visit them to save big on great products for the holidays!

Gifts for Baby and Kids

Little Fox Fashions: Designer Kids Shoes, Kids Winter Boots, Hair Bows and More!

Deal: 20% discount on all sales.

Coupon Code: CYBER20

http://www.littlefoxfashions.com

Fleur Lilly: Girls Holiday Dresses, Girls Boutique Clothing and more.

Deal: Girl's Fall Clothing & Holiday Dresses 35%-75% off
Plus, we always have a continual sale of Girl's Designer Clothing Clearance Sale - $20 and below, new items added to this sale daily.
plus flat rate shipping $5.00 for Cyber sale Day

http://www.fleurlilly.com


Daisy and Beibei: Awesome Online Children's Boutique with fashion for boys and girls.

Deal: 20% Off Everything in Store on Cyber Monday

Coupon Code: daisy

http://www.daisyandbeibei.com/


Micah Co: Wonderful Newborn Baby Gifts, Gifts for New Moms and more.

Visit store for sale information on Cyber Monday.

http://www.micahco.com


Patticake Posh: Shop our Children's Boutique for personalized gifts, birthday gifts and more.

Deal: 20% off entire store.

Coupon Code: blkfriday

Expiration: Black Friday Only

http://www.patticakeposh.com


EliseWear: Save on our unique baby gifts, layette with matching hat, posh diaper bags and more.

Deal: diaper bags 30% off (not including current season Storksak ) http://www.elisewear.com/category_23/Diaper-Bags.htm

Coupon Code: code elise30

Deal: all apparel 25 % off http://www.elisewear.com/category_34/Infant- Layettes.htm

Coupon Code: elise 25

http://www.elisewear.com


My Beautiful Sophia: Girls Boutique that offers popular name clothing for girls and boys.

Visit store for sale information on Cyber Monday.

http://www.mybeautifulsophia.com


Big Top Baby Shop : Visit our Childrens Boutique for european children's clothing, designer newborn clothing and more.

Visit store for sale information on Cyber Monday.

http://www.bigtopbabyshop.com


Shop Sugar Babies: Baby Boutique with punk apparel for babies, toddlers and big kids.

Visit store for sale information on Cyber Monday.

http://www.shopsugarbabies.com

Gagagougou: Terrific Baby Boutique in Canada. Caters to moms and babies.

Deal: 10% off on top of our Holiday Sale.

Coupon Code: MYSEOGAL2010PROMO

Expiration: December 15,2010

http://gagagougou.com


My Tutu Boutique: Trendy tutu boutique, birthday tutus, holiday pettiskirts and more.

Deal: $5 off any tutu order $10 off any tutu dress

Coupon Code: blacktutu

http://www.mytutuboutique.com


Kids T Shirts Rock: Personalized Kids Shirts, Kids Holiday Shirts, Birthday shirts and more.

Deal: 20% all orders on Cyber Monday
Coupon Code: "CYBER" @ checkout

Expires Dec 31, 2010

http://www.kidstshirtsrock.com


This Little Piglet: Unique Baby Products

Deal: 25% off the entire store, FREE shipping over $100

Expiration Date: 11:59 CST on the day of the Cyber Monday sale,

http://www.thislilpiglet.com


My Bonita Boutique: Handmade Girls Clothing Boutique

Deal:35% the entire order

Coupon Code: Cyber35

http://www.mybonitaboutique.com


Baby Birthday Boutique: Birthday Outfits

Deal: free shipping with code

Coupon Code: "CYBER"

http://www.babybirthdayboutique.com


I am Princess: Princess Boutique

Deal: 15% off everything- sale items and non sale items

http://iamtheprincess.com/?code=seogncyber


Heavenly Hold: Designer Baby carriers, nursing pads and more:

Deal: 10% off

Coupon Code : luv2babywear

Expiration Date: 12/31/*2010

http://www.heavenlyhold.com


MarieLynn Boutique: Upscale Children's Boutique

Deal: 15% Off Of All Purchases
Coupon Code:
HOLIDAY

Expiration: 12/31/10

http://www.marielynnboutique.com


Poppy Clementine: Children's designer clothing

25% off of any NON-SALE and NON-PERSONALIZED items

Code: MONDAY25

Valid 11/29 – 12/6

https://poppyclementine.com/


Milos Creations: Adorable kids costumes and adult costumes.

Deal: free shipping for the whole weekend of black friday to cyber monday, plus additional 15% off.

Coupon Code: CyberMonday10 at checkout

http://www.miloscreations.com


Imagination Fuel: Kids wooden toys, educational toys, classic toys

Deal: Free Shipping

Coupon Code: CYBER

http://imaginationfuel.com


Snooty Booty Diapers: Cloth Diapers
Deal: Free shipping on any order, plus a $5 gift certificate for each $50 spent. These offers will be in addition to any product markdowns in

the store.

Coupon Code: Use Code: cmonday

http://www.snootybootydiapers.com/store/WsPCollectionsDet.asp?ID=35&pID=9


Clothing, Hand Bags and Accessories for Men or Women


Fashion Amour: Buy women's fashions, wholesale sunglasses, silk wrap skirts, and more.

Visit store for sale information on Cyber Monday.

http://www.fashionamour.com.au


QT Sunglasses: Designer Inspired Sunglasses:

Deal: 25% OFF orders over $14.95

Coupon Code : CyberMonday2010

Expiration Date: Midnight

http://www.qtsunglasses.net


Gifts

Art By Beckie Ann: Kids Wall Art, Baby Nursery Wall d├ęcor, Art for girls and boys.

Deal: 3 day sale Mon 29th, Tues 30th and Weds Dec 1st

Coupon Code: Cyber20

http://www.artbybeckieann.com



Nanny Deprived: Gifts for Moms

Deal: Free Shipping

Coupon Code: "CYBER"

http://www.nannydeprived.


Label Creations: Personalized Address Labels, Luggage Tags, and more.

Deal: 15% off plus free shipping in the uSA

Coupon Code - HOL2006

Expiration Date: December 31, 2010

http://www.labelcreations.com


Jewelry

Simply Trendy Jewelry: Wholesale Designer Inspired Jewelry, Trendy bracelets, necklaces, rings and more.

Deal: Take 15% off total purchase of $25 or more

Coupon Code: use coupon code (cyber)

Expiration: offer expires December 5, 2010

http://www.simplytrendyjewelry.com


Stranded Treasures: Flowers for Hair, Floral necklaces, earrings and more for special occasions.

Deal: We are having a sale on select items. No coupon needed. Just visit our website to start saving.

Expiration: 11/30/2010

http://strandedtreasures.com


TLC Silver Jewelry: Wholesale Bead Jewelry, Handmade Beaded Jewelry and more

Deal: 30% Off

Coupon Code: CyberMonday30

Expiration Date: 11-30-10

http://www.tlcsilverjewelry.com


Charmies Online: Hand Stamped Jewelry

Deal: Save 10% off your order.

Coupon Code: Circler10

Http://www.charmiesonline.com


TLC New & Vintage Jewelry Holders

Deal: 30% Off

Coupon Code: CyberMonday30

Expiration Date: 11-30-10

http://www.jewelryboxringholders.com


Joyful Heart: Stunning Fashion Jewelry

Deal: Two day event (11/29 - 11/30)... Purchase $60.00 or more from Joyful Heart

Boutique's jewelry catalog and receive 30% off plus free shipping.

http://www.joyfulheartboutique.com


Photo and Greeting Cards


Simply Stated Creative

Deal: 40% off all Custom Photo Cards, including last minute Holiday Cards

Coupon Code: CYBERMONDAY10

Expiration: Valid only on Cyber Monday, November 29, 2010

http://www.simplystatedcreative.com


Bunny Prints: Personalized Photo Cards for Birthday and Baby Shower plus matching birthday clothing, personalized candy jar favors and more

Deal: 10% off everything

Coupon Code: cyber10

http://www.bunnyprints.com


Photo Card Boutique: Photo Card Templates

Deal: 35% off your entire order

Coupon Code : cyber-monday

Expiration Date: Good Monday only

http://www.photocardboutique.com


Lil Sweet Prince: Trendy birth announcements, first birthday invitations, wedding announcements and more.

Deal: Expedited shipping on all orders placed that day. All standard shipping orders will automatically be upgraded to 2 day shipping. No coupon code needed.

Expiration: From the 24-30th of November

http://www.lilsweetprince.com


Fun and Sassy Designs: Photo Birth Announcements, Personalized Kids Cards and more.

Deal: 15% OFF + Free Shipping on ALL product

Coupon Code: Thanks

Expiration: Thursday, November 25th - Monday, November 29th

http://www.funandsassydesigns.com


Little Ladybug Designs: Modern Photo Cards and Holiday Cards

Deal: 25% off from Thursday Nov 25-Nov 27

Coupon Code: Use Code: thanks25 at checkout

http://www.littleladybugdesigns.com


Photo Card Designs: Photo Cards for Weddings, Birthdays , Baby Showers and more.

Deal: Good for one day only- 5% off .

Coupon Code: Please Use Code: cybermonday

http://photocarddesigns.com


Janay Green: Blank Greeting Cards, Personalized Gifts and More.

Deal: 40% off any purchase of $30 or more

Coupon Code: CYBERMONDAY10

http://www.janaygreen.com



Pet Products


Dog Boutique: Buy luxury dog collars, high end dog carriers and a Christmas costume or two for your dog.

Deal: Free Shipping for US buyers all day long.

http://badasspetz.com

Paw Prints Shop Pet Boutique: Trendy pet boutique with hundreds of pet beds, dog clothing, collars and more.

Deal: 10% off your order

Coupon Code: cybermonday

http://www.pawprintsshop.com


Organic Products:


Milf Cosmetics: Spa Products and Chirally Correct Skin Care Products.

Deal: 20% off all products

Coupon Code: CYBERMILF

Expiration: Midnight 11/30 (sale runs through 12:01AM 11/29 till midnight 11/30)

http://www.milfcosmetics.com


Baby U R Precious : Organic Baby Gifts

Deal: 20% off entire order

Coupon code: BURPoct

http://www.babyurprecious.com

Tidbit Couture: Organic cloth diapers and Baby products.

Deal: $5 off purchases of $50 or more ~ plus free shipping!

Coupon Code: CyberMonday10

http://www.tidbit-couture.com



Home and Garden


Harvest Glow Candles: Natural Soy Candles, Wholesale Soy Candles and more.

Deal: 30% Off Cyber Monday Nov. 29th Special!

Coupon Code: Use Coupon Code cyber30 in the voucher field

Expiration: 11:59pm Nov. 29th

http://www.harvestglowcandles.com

CT River Candles: Scented Soy Candles and more.

Deal: 10% off total purchase of $16.95 or more.

Coupon Code: Found at website

http://www.ctrivercandles.com

Ferris Wheel: Trendy heat and cold packs for pain.

Deal: We are running a sale on our Christmas Special Set right now that includes Hot/Cold Neck Wrap, 8 x 10 pack and footwarmers.

Expiration: December 25,2010

http://www.etsy.com/shop/theferriswheels


Hair Accessories


Stranded Treasures: Flowers For Hair, flower jewelry and more.

Visit Site on Cyber Monday to see sales.
http://www.strandedtreasures.com


Wedding:


Lifes Little Favors: Buy unique wedding favors, monogrammed aisle runners and more for your wedding.

Deal: 10% Off Your Entire Order!

Coupon Code: SAVETEN

Expiration: 11/30/10

http://www.lifeslittlefavors.com

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Free T Shirt!! Who Wants it?


We are running a fun contest at our facebook page. Simply fan us and then tag www.nannydeprived.com in a post from your wall and you'll be eligable to win a free personalized tee. We'll be selecting a winner on Friday from those that show up on our wall.

Now, for those of you who are Facebook challenged, I know who you are (mom). In order to tag a person or business page you simply use the "@" button and then start typing the name of the person or business. Our facebook page is under www.nannydeprived.com. When you start typing that, it should pop up. Select it and write a fun little post. Then set the lock icon to "everyone" so it will show up for all to see on our wall.

If you still need help, refer to the discussion tab on our page for more hints and the official rules. One tag per day please!

Thanks and happy tagging.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Happy Birthday and a New Addition!

Three years ago I remember tucking my kids into bed while all sugared up after trick or treating. I ran down to the computer to finish up my last touches on my first website "Nanny Deprived". I was so excited. My little world of Nanny Deprived is happily three years old today and it's been so fun and amazing.

I have learned SO much it's unbelievable. My husband is amazed at all of the information I now know from owning my own online business. I started out by buying "Online Business for Dummies" and now I do some consulting for new business owners and online retailers.

Last night was just like three years ago. I tucked my kids (now there is one more) into bed and came downstairs to do a little more work on my newest website which launches today. Please take a peek at my new baby: http://imaginationfuel.com. We will be selling kids wooden toys, magnetic toys and oh so much more!

Thanks to all of my awesome customers, nanny deprived moms, and the friends I've met on this amazing journey into the depths of online retail!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

E Day

It was 8:50 am on Wednesday morning. I started unpacking my son's backpack from the day before because that's how I roll. I try to look like I have had it packed up and ready for him to go for days but little do his teachers know, I do it five minutes before he goes to school. Haha.

That's when I spotted the note. "Tomorrow is E day. Please bring in something that starts with the letter E". Damn.

I started yelling for my son to go get elastic man.

"Find him! Look under your bed."

I knew we needed to get in the car because it takes us at least 10minutes to get everyone buckled and for me to run back into the house at least 5 times for stuff.

He came down very upset that he couldn't find Elastic Man. The light bulb turned on in my head. I have an envelope!

"Jake, envelopes are cool. All the cool kids like envelopes!"

The tears started to well up in his eyes and the pouty lip came out. Double damn.

"All it does is open and close. The kids will laugh at me!" He said with that giant lip.

I drove my crying pouting little boy to school with an envelope in his book bag and not Elastic Man. Epic mom fail.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Man I love STUFF

Hi!
So, crazy doesn't even begin to describe life on the West Coast nowadays. Amanda and I were finally reunited and wreaked some serious havoc on Sin City at the ABC Expo! Perhaps I should clarify- we wreaked havoc on our wallets and livers mainly but still-- it was one heck of a great time! Perhaps there's a reason we work on opposite coasts- because if we were in the same office constantly we might never get anything accomplished.
Regardless, we have had a product review blog for a little while and haven't really LAUNCHED it but- with allll the great products we found at the show.. its time for a "what do we think and why you need this item" blog. Therefore- announcing Nanny Deprived Reviews!!!!!!
(Yayyy!!! *clap clap clap-- wooooohoooo!!!!)
We, as moms with little time and even little-er room for error have decided to test products on ourselves (and our kids!) so you don't have to.
Stay tuned for more cool stuff that you just might need to have!!!

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Nanny Deprived Recipe

Every once in awhile I start to feel guilty about how much processed food and fast food we eat. And so it's out of guilt I decide to cook. I hate cooking. I'd rather beat my head off of the counter than cook dinner but the idea that my kids will get scurvy eventually makes me suck it up and cook.

This is my go to recipe. Notice it only has 4 ingredients! My kind of meal!

One turkey breast frozen
One packet of onion soup mix
One cup orange juice
One can of whole berry cranberries

Throw all of these things in a crock pot and let it cook for 6 hours. I normally make some mashed potatoes and serve the turkey and the gravy in the croc pot all together. Even my picky eaters love this dinner!

Friday, September 24, 2010

Cloud, cloud, go away

There is a little, black, rain cloud looming over my household lately. And when I say "little and black" I really mean a MASSIVE MIDNIGHT BLACK THUNDERHEAD.

In the past week, I have discovered I have a hernia, had my child knock out one of my teeth and had my husband wreck my brand spankin' new minivan.

Yes, kids...I am officially a country song.

The week started out innocently enough, if you call excruciating
stomach pain "innocent". I decide to make a Dr. appointment and diagnosis: hernia. Schedule abdominal scan for next day.
That evening, put toddler on bouncy Zebra thingy- he stands up and his little hard head whacks me straight in the jaw....Good-bye veneer/bonding. Hello Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel.
Make dental appointment the next day for fixing. Also, make mental note to not smile at anyone not immediately related to me. I also consider getting hard headed toddler a helmet.

Next day: Kiss husband and kids goodbye as I leave for Dr's and they leave for school drop-off. I decide I'll let him be "the cool dad in the red Swagger Wagon" (*Giggle) and I take his car to my doctor appointments. Not my best move- I think karma knew I was singing "Being Mr. Mom" in my head as he drove away.
15 minutes into the drive I get the call noone wants...the "We've been in an accident" call.
Luckily, thank the Heavens, my husband and kids are just fine- not a scratch. My pretty new van? Noooooooooooooooo....front end smashed, 4 broken doors, 2 deployed airbags and a partridge in a pear tre
e. I don't think I am going to see her again for about a month...if at all. Turns out, not many people have trashed their 2011 cars yet so, the body shop is having a heck of a time estimating how they are going to repair it. Greeeaaat.
Needless to say, I called and cancelled both dental appointment and abdominal scan. Funny how a mother no longer hurts, or cares about their whacked out smile when their babies safety is compromised. I'd really like the black cloud to go away though...the rain is getting a little old.


Monday, September 20, 2010

Growth Spurts

When I was young (er) *because I like pretending I'm still young..even though I have yogurt in my hair.
Anyways- when I was young, my mom (when she could stand the mess in my bedroom) would make me have a "fashion show" and see what clothes were too small, too ugly, etc and pass them on to my poor younger sister. This always annoyed the living hell out of me as- who really wants to try on every item in their closet and either beg for its redemption or pretend you're faaaar too tall for those ugly purple pants Aunt Rita gave you. I think its the only time in my memory when I wanted to go to bed- just so my mom would give it a rest.
Standing firm with my "I will never do that to MY kids" mantra-- I decided that the shoes and clothing that fit last school year would magically have to fit this year. Wrong. Dead wrong.
Apparently, in the 3 months since school has let out- my kids have each grown 10 feet and 200 pounds.
Or so it seems to me.
Perhaps my mother had a point...a very poorly executed point but- a point nontheless.
I decided to put my daughter through her own "fashion show of torture" where 12 pairs of pants, 4 pair of shorts and 23 shirts ended up in the "too small" box. I looked at that box and felt kind of ill. All the money I spend on that Gym company and that Place company's clothes...all in a box. Never to be used again in this household because- I don't feel like placing my son in therapy for wearing girls clothing or saddling a far younger, potential future sibling with "old" clothing. Do you ever have that "I am making their clothes from burlap sacks from here on out" feeling? With my luck, burlap is expensive and my family would never go through enough potatoes to make that theory cost effective...
The baby, poor baby...who is starting to walk has had his poor little feet smashed into wrong sized shoes all summer long. I took him into Stride Rite in size 3's (thinking they went on easily enough) and came out with 5.5 wides. *Sigh. The saleswoman looked at me like "How did you get these on his feet? With a crowbar?"
I should have looked her straight in the eye and said "No crowbar- Crisco."



Thursday, September 9, 2010

I want a medal.

So, I normally refrain from writing about my kids because really...who wants to hear stories about other people's kids when you have kids of your own?
Well, this story is mainly about me, those kids things are merely an accessory to the story.

So- I'm being a good mom and giving my kids a bath like all good moms do, right?
I decide to bathe them in my master bath tub...MY master bath tub...the one with the fun jets and bubble products, etc.
Big Mistake.
HUGE.
My son decides to grab one of my limited edition candles that...its so limited edition..I haven't even burned it yet and decides to start filling it with bath water and drinking it. Weird..I know.

Next, he decides to stand up by the faucet and pee on both myself and his sister...to our mutual EWWWWW.
I start explaining to the 13 month old that "it is not appropriate to pee in the bath, buddy...etc etc."
What does my daughter say?
"Oh, I did that right after we got in."

OMG.
Bleach me. Or give me a medal for not running away from these germy little beings whilst I am trying to rid them of the days germs.
Needless to say, I don't bathe with the kids anymore.

-Candy

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Mom Knowledge

So, we had a darn fine idea the other day (and when I say "we" I mean, "Amanda"..God, I feel like her husband now saying that) Mom-Sense. When she told me about it- I thought it was amazingly brilliant because let's face it- we mom's know more random crap about random crap than any other species on the planet. Really...who knows which Barbie the sparkly pink boots go to and who the blue pumps belong to? Mom does.
As a reward for all this useless knowledge you carry around in your already full brain we (*she) has decided to have a contest on our Facebook page every Thursday night at 10 pm, EST. So, being on the west coast...I will have to log in promptly at 7 to check on you fine ladies and see who we can stump with random questions. *remembering to add that as a recurring event to my blackberry...you should too! If you are proven the most knowledgable mama of the night- you will win some fabulous prizes. If you aren't our Facebook friend then-- Why not?? Go friend us!!!

The following is the fine print:
We will ask 3 questions each Thursday night at 10 pm EST (10:02 if the kids are bugging us)
The first person to answer the question correctly will win the prize listed in that post. No swapping prizes.
The winner has 24 hours to email us at nannydeprived at gmail dot com with their US mailing address as well as any size choices. (Yes- the prizes are THAT good!)

As soon as we receive the address, we will mail your prize right off to you! If the winner does not respond within the 24 hours- we reserve the right to offer the prize again next week to another winner.

We realize that some questions may have more than one answer...we reserve the right to choose the answer that is most correct. Kind of like the SAT's you took in High School but- way cooler. We have tried really hard to make sure they are clear cut answers but...you know...stuff happens even when you're trying hard for it not to.
If two people happen to answer correctly with the exact same timestamp in Facebook- we will offer a "tie breaker" question.

Ok, thats all. Hope you're all ridiculously excited. I know I am...even though I can't win because I came up with some questions. Dang you red tape!! Log onto Facebook tomorrow night!!!

Candy :)

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Hell Month

There is a month delay between public elementary school starting and the beginning of preschool which has caused havoc in my house.

The kid that really wants to go to school hasn't started yet and the one who is "forced" to go to school has already begun. This has caused a lot of "It's not fair" wars between the siblings, and, not to mention, a lot of headaches for me.

"It's not fair. Why doesn't he have to go to school?" My daughter says.

Ten minutes later...

"It's not fair. Why does she get to go to school?" My son says.

My reply? "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Somebody start the dang school already!"

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Where Have I Been?

My blog has been nagging me to write in it.

Its a tiny little voice in the back of the head saying, "Ha ha,that's funny. You should BLOG about that". The voice tracks my progress. "It's been 3 weeks and 4 days since you wrote in me". It's nagging, whining, and controlling. I feel guilty when I neglect it. When I sit down to watch tv, it says, "You should spend this time blogging".

All in all, it's my fourth child. Needy, wanting attention and love.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Musings on a third child...

So, I've been thinking alot about the whole third child thing, and whether or not its a good idea. Those of you who had one of each (boy and girl) and then decided to have a third- I'd be interested to know what your motivation behind having your third one was (besides OOPS!!! A little too much vino?)
If you've been reading us, then you may recall that I have a 6 (soon to be 7) y/o daughter and a newly one year old son. I enjoy them both and we have a really nice balance. I'm wondering how hard throwing a third child into the mix would be. Whenever I voice this to friends I get the same "well- she will be big enough to help!". No..that's not her job. While I do appreciate the occasional diape
r fetching or bottle finding- raising younger siblings is not in her job description. We aren't the Duggar family where the older girls are required to raise the little ones. My daughter also claims that "if she gets a sister" she wants to share a bedroom with her. Now, we have 5 bedrooms so technically, all 3 of them could have their own rooms. The "sharing" thing may be cool for now but- is 13 year old her going to pitch a fit about her 6 year old "baby sister" messing with
her Teen Beat magazines? There's just soo many questions. I wish I had a crystal ball. Did I mention I'm already pregnant and don't have much of a choice about all this? :)




Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Lost Nap

Where oh where did my daughter's nap go? Oh where oh where did it go?

It only took having three kids to finally have a good sleeper. My youngest is a great sleeper and napper. You basically throw her in her crib and walk out and she just goes to sleep. It's great and every time I close that door, I am so thankful that it's that easy. I've been on the other side of that situation with my other two children. I remember the crying, screaming, sitting in the room waiting for them to fall asleep.

Yesterday, not so much. I threw her in her crib and the crying started. I freaked. I had flashbacks of my other two kids and almost curled up into the fetal postition and rocked myself back and forth from the memories.

After a few minutes I decided to get her, knowing this wasn't like her. I brought her downstairs and we played some more. If you can call throwing couch pillows at her older brother playing, then yeah, we played. We played real good.

I tried again about an hour later. No luck. I finally decided that if she wasn't going to nap, I would teach her by making her so tired she would fall asleep anywhere. Off to the pool we went. Three hours later we returned home. She was still wide awake and in a good mood.

Now I'm terrified. Does this mean the beginning of the end? All good things must come to an end, but her naps? Really? She's not even two. Someone tell me it was just a jinx, a fluke, and she's not giving up naps for good. Please. Anyone?

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

In search of the perfect purse

I LOVE purses. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. purses.
Especially shiny new Coach ones.
To me, there's just a special kind of happy, loving adoration for a great bag. I mean, I'm not a supermodel, I'm rockin' the "mommy pooch" thing and occasionally a muffin top. Heaven knows I have my days where my hair has baby food in it and I don't know what all is smeared into my shirt. But you know one thing the kids don't ruin? My purse. There it sits- on the shelf, perfect and waiting for me to take it somewhere. While we're out and about, I like to think that my purse is a statement to others saying "Underneath alllll this crap is a woman with style- look at this great bag!"
Or at least thats how it goes in my head...
Lately, I've been on a mission...to find a new summer purse. AND I CAN'T.
If you've read this blog before, you're aware that I set on a frivolous, self-imposed mission and I always win. ALWAYS. Not this time. Not yet.
I did find a gorgeous bag thats like, more than I make in 2 months. But I won't do it. I am willing myself to find something else comparable because...I just can't see spending THAT kind of money, on a bag that mainly goes to the grocery store.
The mission continues...
Do you have a love affair with your purses?

Friday, June 11, 2010

An open letter to germs

Dear Germs,
Please die.
Love,
Candy

My son has had "the runs" for over a week now. The "runs" have turned into a raging diaper rash and then...a fabulous "boy part"infection. We go to the Dr. who gives me 2 creams for aforementioned "boy part" and 6, count them, 6!!!!! vials to collect "samples". From the samples, they can tell which part of his digestive system is ticked off.
So, I return home with my boy part creams and tubes to inform my husband "we rub these on and scoop the poop".
You can't even imagine the chaos.
We didn't want to diaper him, lest the rash continue, yet didn't want to let him smear ointment and desitin all over the house so- I grabbed some of my daughters panties and popped them on him. Yes, we took photos of him crawling around the house in Tinkerbell panties.
Needless to say- puddles started forming around the house. "Don't slip on the pee!" becomes the family motto. Then, it happens....."the specimen" is produced.
Imagine the hilarity of my husband and I using plastic spoons to scoop it up, off the floor, off the underwear and yes....fresh off his butt to place ever so gently into the tube.
REPEAT THAT 6 TIMES.
I've never been so pleased to reach a "fill" line. The fun doesn't stop there...oh no no no...you've got to refrigerate it until morning! YAY!! You can bet your booty I wasn't putting that in my main fridge...so it went outside in the "beer" fridge. Thankfully, we don't have alot of raging alcoholics over because they would have had QUITE the surprise....beer? shot of $hit?
The things we do for our children's health.
P.S. I'd like to give a big shout out to my new HAAN duo Steam Sweeper....without which I might still be wallowing in pee and germs. God Bless invention and QVC.


Thursday, June 3, 2010

Let's go get a Vasectomy! Wooooooo!!

There comes a time when we Mommies will have a decision to make...Do we want another baby or are we "done"? If you want another baby then...my hat is off to you because I am firmly on the fence about the whole thing. I think I may decide by the time all my eggs have shriveled up and will only produce babies who talk like Urkel or will grow up to be something terrible- like a Civil War re-enactor.
Unfortunately, until you're at that point...theres tons and tons of options for us women. IUD, pills, shots, etc... why is there really only one option for men? It amuses me that whenever you say the word "Vasectomy" to a dude...his face scrunches up and he cringes...
What if they made Vasectomy's fun?????? Imagine this...
You walk into a dimly
lit waiting room, filled with comfy leather chairs and dude magazines. The nurses are all hotties clad in "naughty nurse" uniforms as they take your insurance information and tell you "the Dr will be with you soon." Once inside "the room"- its like a guy paradise...nothing sterile white with 42 inch plasma playing sports or whatever they guy chooses. Once the deal is done- they get to pick a prize! Yaaaayyy!! No stickers or lollipops though...like- a round of golf or a coupon for some lovin' once their little surgery is healed.
Sound nice, huh?
??
Almost makes me want to go to Vasectomy school just so I can learn how and open this gold mine for myself!
I mean really...we pushed those little bugger out or had c-sections....don't they owe this to us?



Saturday, May 29, 2010

Horders: For Kids

I'm pretty sure A&E could have filmed a good episode of Horders at our house while cleaning out my daughter's closet the other day. I finally got so overwhelmed at the fact that I couldn't get in there to hang up clothes that I decided enough was enough.

Armed with garbage bags, boxes, and my 4 year old we went up for an intervention. We barged in on my daughter's "Fortress of Solitude" and as soon as she saw the garbage bags the tears started. I pleaded and begged and tried all of the tactics the way-too-nice and calm therapists on Horders try. Lacking time and patience I started grabbing handfuls of broken crayons, candy wrappers, puzzle pieces, Ponyville fodder, and what not and began throwing it away. Under some of the debris, I'm ashamed to report, I did find several pet shop carcasses who must have been buried alive.

My daughter, seeing the progress eventually got on board. But then the negotiation started on every toy.

Me: "Do you really need this pony? It only has one eye and the hair is all gone from it's head. It's a little scary."

Horder: "Mommy, I like that pony. I NEED that Pony."

Me: "Ok, well what about this old castle? It's seen happier days."

Horder: "Ok, but can I get a new castle?"

My poor 4 year old soon stood there like all of the relatives on Horders. Ashamed, broken and just happy to get handed anything throw away.

Three garbage bags later, we were left with a small pony land, Pet Shop villa and a small zhu zhu pit stop. My daughter will get one toy (with no small pieces) as a reward. Those pet shop who were crushed from the debris have now been brought back to life and have been given a happy home. ;)

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Children Welcome! (But not really...)

A good friend of mine threw a birthday party for her husband last night and the invitation clearly stated "Children welcome!". Not having a babysitter, I cleaned them, dressed them and drug them along with me and my party pitcher of Sangria. When we got there, my customary 45 minutes late, it was a small gathering of 5 adults and 2 kids. Perfect! More adults started to arrive, each couple bringing atleast a 12 pack of beer with them. Please note I said "couple" and "beer" not "moms" and "kids". They ALLLLLL left their kids home. I secretly started to hate each of them. At around 7, the birthday parents put their 15 month old to bed, and the other couple who had brought their son got "tired" and departed. It was down to my 2 kids. Amazingly throughout the 2 hours we had been there, my kids didn't make a peep. The 10 month old was quite a social crawler..making his way around the patio, picking up the occasional dropped chip and stopping to splash in the water table. My 6 year old had taken to creating a chalk art masterpiece and leisurely sipping virgin sangria quietly. I could not have asked for better behaved kids. Yet- why did I feel the "Are you going to take those kids home" eyes on me? Maybe it was my imagination but...I instantly felt out of place and like the "Children welcome" had expired- simply due to the fact that noone else brought theirs. Like Carrie Bradshaw was "Shoe shamed" for having expensive shoes at a party...I was "Kid shamed". The party hosts were gracious...it was the rest of the guests that I think were relieved when I quietly rounded them up and brought them home. Arriving home at like- 8, was NOT what I envisioned. *Sigh...
Any of you ever have this happen? What did you do?


Thursday, May 20, 2010

Just Say No

Never again. I'm not doing it. No. I will refuse to be room mom ever again. Someone shoot me if I ever do it. Although, I somewhat remember thinking this exact same thing before.

Here I am covered in class frames, year books, and teacher gift cards...literally. I'm not kidding.

I'm trying to throw together this and that. I need to ask for some donations without asking for too much as per the demands of the PTA. Who are those people anyway? I want to throw a nice end of year party but don't want to over do it. I'm worried if I should pre-paint the frames or not before letting the kids glue sequins all over them. Seriously? No. No more. Why am I worried about this? Do I even remember my 1st grade class party? Did we even have class parties back then? Did we even have room moms? What's the purpose of a room mom?

Why is the end of the year so hectic? It's like some big hurdle that you have to jump over before you get to lay around and be lazy. I can't wait for that first week of summer. But only the first week. By the end of the summer I'll be so ready for school I'll probably volunteer to be room mom!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

The checklist

If stroller shopping excites you more than a night out- You might be a Stay at Home Mom.

If you own makeup older than your first born- You might be a Stay at Home Mom.

If you blow the dust off your FAVORITE heels so your daughter can play dress up- You might be a Stay at Home Mom.

If shopping at NY&Co makes you angry due to their limited Terry Cloth selection- You might be a Stay at Home mom.

If you own Fit Flops in every color choice- You might be a Stay at Home mom.

If you go in to Starbucks just because it gives you something to do-You might be a Stay at Home mom.

If you can tell where your child is in the house, based solely upon the sound of the toys they are playing with- You might be a Stay at home mom.

If the photos you have uploaded to FB contain nothing but your children and or the messes they've created in the last week- You might be a Stay at home mom.

If you walk around the house wracking your brain for things to blog about besides your children- You are DEFINITELY a Stay at Home Mom!!

Do you have any others???

Monday, May 17, 2010

3:57 AM

I'm slowly pulled from my deep warm happy sleep. I lay still, not wanting to move, keeping all of my muscles asleep. I finally open my eyes and look at the clock. 3:57. I sill refuse to move the rest of my body, hoping I can just close my eyes and go back to sleep. I turn on my mom hearing and wait for the inevitable sound I know I'll soon hear. I know there is a reason I've woken up, my mom instincts. I listen to my husband, completely asleep. His dad instincts are working well!

A few sleepy seconds later I hear a muffled cry. I wince, knowing I need to get up. Finally, the one word comes that makes me finally move my body out of my restful position, "mommy!"

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The sock conspiracy

Somewhere lurking deep in my dryer vents is an evil gnome. This gnome's sole purpose in life is to abscond and eat my baby socks...and not just any old baby socks....my matching Gymboree baby socks that I go to the ends of the earth to find. Case in point...I bought my son the "rock star" collection and could have sworn I bought the socks too. I tore my whole house apart and did not find said socks. (Sane people do this, right?) Therefore, I called a few of my local Gymborees to find the socks. They tell me the socks are "hard to find" which only strengthens my resolve to get them. I then turned to my good friend Ebay...no dice. I then decided to start calling the Gymboree stores by my dad in Pennsylvania (UGH-there are only 2 within driving distance of him!!) No luck. I call all 8 stores by my mom in Central Florida. No luck. By this point, I have this scary gleam in my eye which makes my husband keep reading me store numbers from the website. Fear motivates people.
The rest of Nevada? No.
Idaho? No.
I have a friend in North Dakota in the Air Force so I call the store by him...NO.
My Aunt lives in Massachusetts and NOTHING is worse than hearing "We don't have those Sawcks" in the Bawstin accent.
Utah? There's millions of mormon kids who can't possibly wear socks associated with rock stars...they MUST have some in Salt Lake City???? No.
Colorado...its only two states away from us...YES!!!!!!!
The chick who answered the phone must have thought that these damn socks were the holy grail or the cure to cancer because I WAS SO EXCITED. If it were possible to kiss someone through the phone-- I totally did.
The cost of the socks? $3.69
Fedex-ing the socks? $7.99
I didn't care...I would have paid twice that because I. WON.
Back to my original point about the dryer....one guitar sock is gone. Just...gone. I've looked in everyone's underwear drawer...shook out all the towels and no....its not here.
I think the gnome has it...the one who has 10 other baby sock halves hidden in there....and now he got my rockstar sock. I'll get you gnome...if its the last thing I do....

Saturday, May 8, 2010

French's recipe ideas (because I like winning things :))

So, French's has a great recipe giveaway for Mother's Day and..I personally like winning things so- I am posting a recipe of theirs and a recipe of my own. In theory you are supposed to make it easy enough so your kids can do it with YOU....my secret hope is that the recipes are easy enough that your husband can make them with your kids--thereby relieving you of cooking on MD. Pretty sneaky, eh???
What are your kids doing for you for Mother's Day????

Hope its Great..
Candy

This is the recipe posted from the official French's site: Yummmmm.....







High Resolution Image Courtesy of French’s French Fried Onions

CRUNCHY COCONUT SHRIMP
Prep Time: 10 min. Cook Time: 10 min.

1 1/3 cups (2.8 oz.) FRENCH'S® Original French Fried Onions
1/3 cup flaked, sweetened coconut
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1 lb. large shrimp, shelled and deveined
2 egg whites, beaten

1. PLACE French Fried Onions and coconut into plastic bag. Lightly crush with hands or rolling pin. Transfer to pie plate or waxed paper.
2. PLACE flour in another plastic bag. Add shrimp; shake to coat.
3. DIP shrimp into egg whites. Coat with onion mixture, pressing firmly to adhere.
4. BAKE shrimp at 400°F for 10 min. until shrimp are fully cooked and crispy.

Makes 4 servings

Look for FRENCH'S® French Fried Onions in the canned vegetable aisle!
Variation: Add 1 tsp. curry powder to crushed onions.




Here is my recipe:

Easy and tasty pasta salad

Boil 1 lb any style macaroni (use something different than elbows...they're so boring :))
Wash and Chop 2 sticks of celery (fine or chunky..depending on your preference)
Hard boil, peel and chop 2 eggs
Wash, core and chop one bell pepper (I like red for color)
Mix all ingredients together in a large bowl
Then add 1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup sour cream
and 1-2 TBS FRENCH'S yellow or Spicy yellow mustard. You can add more mustard in 1 TBS. increments if you want more mustard flavor.
Salt and pepper to taste
Stir REALLY well to coat all pasta.
Chill and serve!!!

Optional:
You can add 1/2 yellow onion or red onion to this recipe if you want to. My family doesn't care for onions so- I leave it out!

If your household is not a "mayo" household...you can add Italian dressing in 1 tbs increments instead of mayo. You just need to stir harder to coat!


~~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

No-TV Week

I've heard about this, but having not had a child in school, it was still the stuff of folklore. A week when they ask all the kids, and their parents to watch NO TV. Not at all. Everyday you get a coupon, signed by mom or dad that says that you didn't watch TV. I have a couple of issues with this. First, my kids don't watch that much TV. When they do, its usually so I can take my 2 or 3 time a week shower (Ok, I shower more than that, my hair just doesn't get washed every day- ok?), or so I can cook dinner, or because some kids TV programming is actually pretty beneficial in my opinion (For the record, I HATE shows that want your kids to talk back to the TV set, like they are having a conversation, my kids eyes all glazed over, telling Mickey or Dora what tool to use. Its just creepy)
Second, its usually on a week where the kids are out of school 2 days for Parent Teacher Conferences. Really? Two entire days at home, its still not that springish here, they can't play outside for long, and they aren't supposed to watch TV. Which means that while I'm supposed to be doing the things I'm supposed to be doing, they are bored and need someone to play dress up. I love playing dressup, don't get me wrong, but REALLY? While they are at home all day?
My second problem is that NO TV Week also happens to fall during the NBA finals, and heaven forbid my husband doesn't watch the Utah Jazz. So we've got "Daddy, its no TV Week, for the WHOLE FAMILY!" Him turning up the TV, her crying as if her eyes have been burned by the very sight of the illuminated set.
SO, I think the point of No TV Week is for families to do things together, for kids to play, read books, etc. Which is fine with my husband if the family watches the NBA together.... So, we made it 3 out of the 5 days. All the coupons get entered into a drawing and someone wins some prize for being the most obedient non-watcher of TV. My guess is that we won't be winning any prizes on that one, ever.


Thanks to our special guest writer Tasha for this post!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

What to do...what to do?

Oh Saturday...I wait for you excitedly and...really...for no reason.
All my days are like Saturdays- sans taking my DD to school (which, I don't do anyways--I do the dressing and feeding- DH does the driving) so...Saturday really holds no fabulous-ness apart from the other days of the week. DH goes to work all weekend, so its business as usual for the kids and I.
Yet...theres something about it. A freedom that allows you to use it as an excuse even...."I don't want to clean..its Saturday!" Honestly, I don't clean any other day of the week either so...why should Saturday be any different? We have no place to be, no obligations to meet and I just love it. What are your Saturday's like?

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Cautionary Tale

DO. NOT. SPRAY. TAN. EVER.
and when I say "EVER" I mean EVER.
I am the daughter George Hamilton never knew he had.
I have never seen my teeth so white.
I have never seen my skin looking more diseased.
I'm lucky I don't own any suspenders because I would surely be mistaken for an Oompa Loompa.
I love the fact that I can wear pants all the time.
My husband keeps looking away because he says its hard to take me seriously.
All I wanted to be was tan...and Groupon made it possible for such a good price.
Why Groupon??
?? Why have you failed me????
My daughter told me that "you should have a very great artist draw your face and you can glue it onto your face with washable glue until you look regular again."
Sigh....

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Headbutts and Butting Heads


There are entire government agencies devoted to the welfare of children. They make sure that kids are kept safe and are not neglected or abused which is wonderful.

Where is the government agency to protect parents from their children?

I'm feeling a little emotionally and physically bruised and beaten by my kids. To make matters worse, it's my fault because I raised them. I can only blame myself since they are MY kids.

My oldest is mean. I'm nice to her and she's mean. I'm mean to her and she's mean. I can't figure out how to make her nice or happy. The sad part is is that she is so cute and little. She has her top teeth missing, freckles across her nose and she's tiny. I want to squeeze her and love her and she wants nothing to do with it. She's just too little and cute to be mad and angry all the time. We just clash and fight over silly things.

My youngest is in the midst of learning how to throw good tantrums. The other day during the middle of one she decided to head butt me in the head with her head. I'm not sure who was crying more. Despite my pain, I held her, worried, and rocked her. Much later I felt a large nasty bump on my own head. But somehow, my pain wasn't as important as hers.

So, I'll go into hiding for a few minutes, write my blog, lick my wounds and return to the fighting ring. There is nothing else to do. I guess you have to take the bad days with the good.

Good thing my favorite episode of Dora is on. Maybe that will cheer me up some. :)

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Ultimate Blog Party 2010

DOH! Leave it to me to be late again for another party. That's my lot in life. It's a late lot. But a good life.

I'm Amanda and this is my 3 year old blog full of crazyness, chaos and a little fun. It's all about motherhood and how we adapt to it.

Please take a look around, make yourselves comfortable and enjoy my insanity.

Ultimate Blog Party 2010

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The Easter Party of Doom

I have a great idea. Let's take a teeny tiny room, fill it with 12, 4 year olds, all of their parents, a bunch of craft materials, and me and my angry baby.

Oh yes, today was preschool Easter Party day. I loathe preschool parties. My angry baby was the center of attention. Probably due to her screaming and yelling. At one point about 5 of the kids had her cornered and were all talking to her. I tried to intervene saying, "Careful honey, she may bite you." "Please don't touch her, she'll hit." It was horrifying. Luckily, only one kid got slapped. After that, they all kept their distance.

When craft time rolled around, she was all up in the glitter and crayons and, yes, glue. There was glue there. I was trying so hard to glue that dang bunny with my son while keeping her out of the crayons and away from the glue. I was literally sweating. It was the ugliest bunny you've ever seen. I didn't cut it right, and it just had quick glops of glue on it. When we left, I tried to leave it behind but one nice mom brought it to me. A reminder of the day.

After the tantrum from coming inside dyed down, I decided I needed to make my getaway early. I grabbed finished crafts, plastic eggs and started stuffing them in my sons backpack. Fake Easter grass was spewing from every crack in his bag. I threw it on him and politely said my goodbyes.

Only one more party left. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

One Hot Mom ... or not so much.

The nice weather has gotten me out of my funk. I had it going on the other day. I showered. That in itself is awesome. I was wearing my new denim capris, my cute little Coach flip flops and a tee. My hair was done for once... if you could call it that. I was feeling great.

I picked my son up from preschool and we headed out into the world to get some lunch. Without hesitation I was able to carry my daughter, three beverages, and two trays to our table (thanks for the help employees) with ease. I was feeling confident, happy and for once, like I could do this whole mom of three gig.

That's when I looked down at my shoulder and realized my cute little tee was on completely inside out. DOH! Perhaps that's why the preschool teachers were giving me funny looks while I was talking to them.

I surrender.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

The Best Day Ever (Think Spongebob)

The other day was a normal day. I had to take my son to the dentist along with the terror - I mean my daughter. When I woke up I started to get going when my husband announced, "I think I'll work from home today."

My eyes lit up like on Christmas morning. "Um, that's cool. Do you think you could watch the baby while I take Jake to the dentist?" He agreed and I was out the door laughing like a mad woman. I"m pretty sure there was smoke from my mini-van tires.

The hygienist took my son back to "tickle his teeth". I wish that's what they would do to me when I go back there. And there it was.... a large leather couch with magazines all around and a little coffee bar. I was in heaven. I had a whole 25 minutes of sitting, not doing anything. I drank my coffee and read a magazine. It was glorious.

There were no temper tantrums, no runny noses, no crazy baby eating things off the floor. It's strange how 25 minutes and a big leather couch can make me so happy. Maybe I need therapy. Oh YES! More couches and quiet time! I'm sold.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

A Pain in the Teeth

Teeth. Who needs em?

Teeth seem to be a sore subject in my house these days, literally.

I've got one kid loosing them left and right. Every meal brings on the drama about how she can't eat because her tooth is loose. My menus have to be planned around the wiggleness of her tooth. Whenever a tooth is just about to come out, we look forward to a show of crying, jumping around, whimpering, and mad amounts of "look at me" drama. Fabulous.

I also have another kid getting some new teeth. Again, I've enjoyed days of screaming, crying, spitting, diarrhea and general whining. There's a bit of fear in me too because I know that with those teeth, the inevitable biting will soon come.

And then there is my poor son, in the middle of the two extremely dramatic girls. I'd just be happy if he would remember to brush his teeth once in awhile.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

The Poop Has Commeth

Diarrhea, cha cha cha! I'm surrounded, blah blah blah.

The stomach bug has moved in. The kids have it. The baby has it. The dogs have it. Why don't I have it? Because I'm the lucky one who gets to clean it all up. I'd rather have it.

You've heard of projectile vomit? We'll I'd like to introduce you to projectile diarrhea. My baby has perfected her aim. It shoots out of the back of her diaper and onto the floor, bed, etc. It's lovely.

Of course this all happens when my husband is out of town, in Orlando, "working." Poolside, I'm sure. I want a job.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

This is an Emergency

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. This is NOT a test. This is an actual emergency of the Nanny Deprived Broadcast System.

My microwave has died. I know this because it keeps making zapping noises every other second followed by the smell of burning electrical wires. Then it normally shuts off after 5 seconds. I can only assume that means it's done. I'm guessing.

How will I make mini pancakes, chicken nuggets, lean pockets and my Smart Ones for dinner? What about the Easy Mac? How will my kids survive without Easy Mac? More importantly, how will I warm up my coffee? I feel so lost. Like a warm good friend has left me.


"Marge, isn't there anything faster than a microwave?" - Homer Simpson