Thursday, April 29, 2010

Cautionary Tale

DO. NOT. SPRAY. TAN. EVER.
and when I say "EVER" I mean EVER.
I am the daughter George Hamilton never knew he had.
I have never seen my teeth so white.
I have never seen my skin looking more diseased.
I'm lucky I don't own any suspenders because I would surely be mistaken for an Oompa Loompa.
I love the fact that I can wear pants all the time.
My husband keeps looking away because he says its hard to take me seriously.
All I wanted to be was tan...and Groupon made it possible for such a good price.
Why Groupon??
?? Why have you failed me????
My daughter told me that "you should have a very great artist draw your face and you can glue it onto your face with washable glue until you look regular again."
Sigh....

3 comments:

Lesley said...

you have me in stitches.....I think there has to be a way to not look like a 75 year old resident of Palm Beach...I just haven't the faintest clue how to do it!

Nanny Deprived said...

Awesome! I want pictures posted to facebook.

JMN said...

Hi there! New follower from Top Mommy Bloggers! Hope you'll check my site out too!

www.jonathanandmelanie.blogspot.com

Thanks!

Melanie