Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Death To The Green Booger Fairy

The Green Booger Fairy visited my house last night. I would love to find her, pin her down and pluck her little wings off one by one. The only thing worse is the Pink Eye Fairy. Lord knows she's been to our house a few times. I'm just waiting for the Head Lice Fairy. I know she's around lurking in our bushes. Waiting for a good time to attack our house.

There is nothing worse than wiping your child's nose with a tissue to find a gigantic green booger that just won't stop coming out. You know what I'm talking about. You normally need three or four tissues to get it all out. Or scissors to cut it loose and give up. Not much phases me anymore. I've seen it all but those nasty green rubber band boogies just freak me out.

It's even more entertaining to see those boogies at 4am when you're awake with a severely congested kiddo. Or while in the middle of a conversation with the man in charge of "Small Businesses" at the bank. Had that happen once. I think he understood the meaning of my business name, "Nanny Deprived" at that exact moment while I kept reaching for tissues off his desk and trying to scoop out the greenness from my son's nose. I just kept talking like it was nothing while gagging and wanting to vanish on the inside.

Tis the season of the Green Booger Fairy. Wish me luck on catching her so I can do away with her for all of our sakes.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Susie F. HomeMaker

Hi ladies!!
I am so sorry that I have been slacking in the blog department. Thank God my boss (Mandy) is lenient when I either don't show up for work or come to work tipsy (heehee). Can I just "woohoo!" for a moment and state that she will be joining me here in Sunny Vegas soon so-- stay tuned for the blogging insanity when we're together. I can't wait!

Now to my post...

I think I'm starting to get a rash from being a stay at home mom. This rash is in the shape of a potholder at the end of my hand. I actually bought new potholders today because the ones I had weren't heat resistant enough and didn't match my dishes. I SO wish that I was kidding.
In the past several weeks I have purchased:
Silverware (because my nonexistant dinner guests couldn't use the mismatched crap we had)
The aforementioned potholders, with the matching dishtowels and oven mitt.
A cutting board with a colander inside it that goes over your sink
and other miscellaneous kitchen goodies like a grater and funnel.
Please note at no time did I type "Oh, and I found these cute boots!" because I haven't. I haven't even ventured into a department other than "Home"
When asked the other day what I wanted for christmas I IMMEDIATELY replied "The Temp-tations bakeware from QVC!" I nearly danced home when found some Lenox crystal wine glasses for dirt cheap at Burlington Coat Factory. My husband's aunt sent me some Halloween cupcake pans and I immediately started thinking of pumpkin shaped confections to bake. I would do unspeakably dirty things for some Calphalon cookware. (Don't tell my husband..he may google what that is and then I'll have to put my money where my mouth is)
Am I experiencing some kind of 1950's timewarp where women go from cool careerwomen to insane Susie Home-Makers??? When did I transition from "I have nothing to wear!!" to "I just don't know what to make for dinner!"
Sigh...I should go finish ironing my curtains before the dryer buzzes and wakes the baby up....

Friday, October 23, 2009

Super-Non-Pooping Mom

Everyone Poops. I've read the book and have proof. If it's written, it must be fact, right?

Well so far I know it is true. I can speak for myself, in that, I poop. There, I said it. And until I evolve into Super-Non-Pooping Mom I will continue to have to poop. And that is unfortunate in itself because every time I need to use the restroom, the chaos begins.

Take the other day, for example. I decided it was time to "go" and found activities for each of my kids to keep them occupied. The oldest was doing homework, the baby had a new toy and the toddler was watching Sponge Bob. All was good and I decided it was time.

While I was having my moment, my oldest decided to slam her book down causing the dogs to bark, causing the baby to scream, causing the toddler to run to see what had happened causing him to trip and get a boo boo on his elbow.

I sat screaming in the bathroom, "What was that?" "What happened?" "Who's crying?" "Who's not crying?" "Why are the dogs barking?" Absolute mayhem, as normal.

I emerged from the bathroom, holding up my pants, hands unwashed, trying to figure out who to help first.

I hope I evolve quickly into Super-Non-Pooping Mom. It would come in rather handy but I imagine I'd be quite bloated.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

And the Winner is...

The Monkey's Mama has won the Bumpy Name Orbit Lables! She's been contacted and we are so excited for her.

WE'll have another give away very soon. Thanks to all who participated!


Saturday, October 3, 2009

My Seo Gal's Blog Hop - Bumpy Name Orbit Label Give Away

Welcome to Nanny Deprived, the blog! Time to get out your martinis ladies! It's a Blog Hop!

I'm sure drinking mine!!

Please take a look around the wonderful world of being Nanny Deprived. Candy and myself enjoy writing about the chaos that is, being a mom. We hope you'll read some of our latest posts and sit back and enjoy.

Now, lets talk about the all important give away!

Nanny Deprived will be giving away one of our favorite products from our store: Nanny Deprived - the Inchbug Bumpy Name Orbit Label 4 pack. The lucky winner will get to pick from their favorite color, choose their name and icon and have it shipped to them at our expense.

These are perfect for keeping tabs on your kids drinks, bottles, sippy cups. They are removable, washable and
just a great product. Perfect for daycare, preschool, soccer practice, playgroups or anytime.

How to enter:

1) Leave a comment on your favorite Nanny Deprived product from our store.
2) Become a follower of this blog and let us know in a comment.
3) Fan us on Facebook and let us know in a comment.
4) Visit our ongoing story contest and vote and let us know which story you voted for.

Feel free to post daily to give yourself more chances to win.
The prize will only be shipped to an address in the Continental US. We will choose a winner by random number generator on Oct. 21. Winner will be notified by email (make sure we have access to your email).

Be sure to take a look around at all the other great blogs doing give aways below!

MckLinky Blog Hop