and when I say "EVER" I mean EVER.
I am the daughter George Hamilton never knew he had.
I have never seen my teeth so white.
I have never seen my skin looking more diseased.
I'm lucky I don't own any suspenders because I would surely be mistaken for an Oompa Loompa.
I love the fact that I can wear pants all the time.
My husband keeps looking away because he says its hard to take me seriously.
All I wanted to be was tan...and Groupon made it possible for such a good price.
?? Why have you failed me????
My daughter told me that "you should have a very great artist draw your face and you can glue it onto your face with washable glue until you look regular again."