Monday, December 21, 2009

Its Christmas...holy crap!

Thats really the only thing I can say whenever I hear the "4 more shopping days until Christmas"...HOLY CRAP! Where did 2009 go? How can so many crazy, wonderful, unexpected, life altering things in a mere 365 days? It boggles my mind that the first 6 months drug along sooo slooowly, then as soon as my son was born BAM- there flew the other 6 like I snapped my fingers. We may complain about how insane our days are, and how hectic our lives are but really ladies... we have such an incredible amount to be thankful for. To be completely filled with gratitude for. Our kids piss us off, or cost us insane amounts of money in alcohol but really...they're so worth it. Our husbands..yeah...they're dumb--but they're ridiculously loveable. I had this "AHA" moment today at the Dr's office getting my sons immunizations... there was a couple in the next room, Mom and Dad looked a total wreck with a super sick son. I gathered from the flurry of nurses around them that hospitalization and some massive testing was required on this sick little guy. 4 days before Christmas. My heart went out to them because they were literally beside themselves with worry. I sat there listening to the hubbub, holding my healthy little guy and thought "Thank you, God." because I don't think I say it, or think it enough. I think, like everyone else, I get all caught up in the wrapping and the cookies, etc and don't stop to think about how lucky we have presents to have cookies to bake...or an oven to bake them in...or a family to give them to (or hide them from because they will eat them ALL while you're not looking...) :)
I'm grateful to have you ladies reading this, sharing your thoughts with me and sharing this insanity called "motherhood" with me.
I am exceptionally grateful for my best friends (like Nanny D. herself) because I simply would not have been able to deal with this wonderful, blunderful year without them.
I could go on and on...but in case I don't get to blog before the end of the 2009...I wish you and yours the very happiest of holidays and nothing but the promise of a crazy, fabulous 2010. The best just keeps getting better, right? :)

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Unspoken Bond

My daughter had been wearing the same diaper for almost 6 hours. Since it was my "emergency diaper" for the car, and no other diaper remained in a 3 mile radius, I decided it was time to go to the store.

I loaded up my three kids, including 6 socks, 3 jackets and 3 pairs of shoes, and headed to the grocery store. Once there we loaded everyone into one of those giant brightly colored shopping carts for Nanny Deprived moms. You know the ones. The big unstreamlined race cars that really need 6 wheels. They are always wobbly and have some kind of nasty bird poop or stain of some kind on the seats. They are impossible to turn and never fit down the isles quite right. And of course, every kid NEEDS to ride in them.

My personal circus and I headed in the store. Once inside we almost ran into another mom pushing the gigantic shopping cart too. She had a baby strapped to her in a Baby Bjorn and painstakingly tried to back up and navigate past an end cap to move out of our way. All I could do was laugh. She and I looked at each other and knew exactly what hell was. It was so strange to connect so instantly with someone.

Apon passing she asked me if things get easier. My youngest was probably a year older than the 3 month old strapped to her. I smiled and just shook my head. I apologized and said, "I hate to tell you this, but no."

We both continued on through the store, making faces at the babies and yelling bribes at the older kids while trying as best we could to navigate our hugantic carts through the over crowded isles. Sometimes it's nice and refreshing to see someone else in the same giant brightly colored boat I'm in.

Monday, December 7, 2009


I think I may start raising funds for a whole new type of genetic testing. Not to cure cancer, or something worthwhile mind you, but to see on which DNA strand the marker for "shopping" is. I am near positive it is an inherited trait, passed down dominantly in females- from mother to child.
If my theory is correct, then I would like to isolate and remove it. The money spent for surgical removal of said defective gene will definitely be made up by NOT going to Kohls, Gymboree or J.Crew. Maybe insurance would even cover the surgery. If we weren't shopping, our stress levels at holiday time would be reduced. People wouldn't get sick from standing out in the cold on Black Friday. Noone would risk their lives on bad roads to make it to Kohl's Night Owl deals. Not shopping most definitely has its health benefits.
Of course, there are the side effects. No "shoppers high". Is there anything else as fun (G rated, of course) as toting your wares into the house- so proud that you remembered the coupon or that you scooped up the last pair of socks in a 12-18 months? Don't you do a little dance in the dressing room when something on the clearance rack is adorable AND fits?? The thrill of the hunt...the glory of the kill (or, the "checking out" in this case...I tend to get a little carried away when talking coupons.) Its primal, I tell you. I'm helpless against it, I was born this way- I swear!


Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Back Seat Bitch

The open road... The wind in my hair.... Spontaneous road trips to Key West for long adult weekends filled with partying, laying on the beach drunk in my bikini and renting mopeds for days filled with shopping. Not a care in the world. I traveled in luxurous style in our Infinity QX 56. I was Queen of the car and fun roadtrips. Of course, that was "BK" (before kids).

Now? Now I'm the back seat bitch in a no-thrills minivan on family roadtrips to visit Grandma. I dole out juice boxes and desired snacks. I change, fast forward, rewind and fix scratched DVD's. I play 45 minute games of, "Where's Mommy?" with the baby and her blankie. I retrieve lost shoes, straws, games, headphones, and binkies for the kids who are strapped down disregarding my own safety. Never mind the fact I have horrible carsickness or the fact that we have 14 hours left to our destination, I keep a smile on my face, a song in my heart and numerous swear words in my head.

I guess I created the need for this minivan and now I must ride in it.