Friday, August 29, 2008

Pregnancy Sleep

I don't think the title of this blog actually exists. I think "pregnancy sleep" is an oxymoron - two words which have contradictory meaning. I don't believe any woman who is in her third trimester gets more than 2 hours of sleep at any given time.

I like to think of "sleeping" as dozing while trying to find a comfortable position. I constantly turn back and forth dragging my body pillow and all the sheets with me. When I say turn, I mean using a four point turn to get from one side to the other. It's a series of upper and lower body parts moving while grunting and expending way too much energy just to get to the other side of the bed.
Once I finally doze off the baby starts to move and kick my bladder which sends me to the bathroom. Then it all starts over again.

People have told me this is just Mother Natures way of getting me ready for the baby. I say Mother Nature is a bitch and I'm more than ready for the baby. Bring it on so I can get some sleep.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Momspit - named after the original

I sell a lot of things in my online boutique but my absolute favorite is Momspit. It's ingenious and the company is awesome. I'm a authorized seller of the product and I love it.

As I'm typing this blog entry, I've already had to stop to clean up dog vomit and change the pee filled training pants of my two year old. Really, I can't make this stuff up! It's nice to know that there are products out there that help all the overworked, underpaid moms out there.

I keep a large bottle on my counter for quick cleanups. I'll throw some on my hands while passing through the kitchen because who knows what bacteria and germs are living on my hands minute to minute. I also love the smell and it just feels nice.

I keep a small bottle in my diaper bag which has come in more handy than I can ever explain. It's been a lifesaver over and over. It's perfect for getting that little line of chocolate off of my daughter's lip without using the old fashioned, original Momspit.

Plus, the company is just great. They even lowered their prices once the product became more popular. What company does that?

So go ahead and give it a try. The little bottle will cost you $7.00 and it lasts for a good while. The big bottle is $14 and I still haven't used a whole bottle yet.

Click here: NannyDeprived Momspit to get more info or to order.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Ode to Potty Training

What's the most disgusting job that you really desire to do?
Potty training a child who is three or worse, two.

The cost of those diapers drives you slowly insane,
Messing with the coherent thoughts in your brain.

I could save $516 dollars a year,
If only he didn't have to wear those things on his rear.

So you start the inevitable, the disgusting, the gross,
You buy the potty chair you think he'll like most.

Your spirits are high and everything seems fun
No problem you think, this can easily be done.

And then it begins, the bribing and prodding
Only to turn into moments of sobbing.

Olympic sprinters are not as fast as you
When you've got a child who says he needs to poo.

Your life becomes reminders, nagging and cleanings
And you wonder to yourself if your life has any meaning.

And then the most wonderful day arrives,
The poop in the potty brings a tear to your eyes.

You scream, clap, and yell in delight
The grossness in the potty is the most beautiful sight

The light at the end of the tunnel is near
Soon, no more diapers to buy for his rear.

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Homeschooling - Genius or Insane?

It seems that homeschooling is becoming more and more popular. Maybe I'm just noticing it more because I have a school age child now (sniff, sniff). Right now with Kindergarten looming only a week away, homeschooling seems like a magnificent idea. The thought of throwing my poor scrawny, innocent, adorable little baby into a giant maze-like school scares the bejeebies out of me. The only thing scarier I can think of is spending hours a day working with her one on one.

I'm a former hard working, dedicated elementary teacher. I volunteered to teach the lowest reading groups when we grouped our 4th and 5th grade students by ability level. I loved those kids and I was so patient with them. Each tiny step was momentous to me and a great thrill. I loved to come up with creative ways to teach the most boring lesson.

However I become this insanely driven person when it comes to teaching my own daughter how to simply write her name or practice numbers. It drove me absolutely crazy that she couldn't remember how to count to 20. All of my patience flew out the door once the child became my own. I guess I expect way too much of my own kids. I could never submit them to my craziness to be their sole educator. They'll have to deal with me and my expectations when it comes to homework help and that's enough for me and them. I've even thought of hiring tutors - a job I once did - just to help my kids with homework if it gets to tough on me and them.

I give total credit to those who can teach their own children with normal expectations and lots of patience. I would rather teach 28 strangers kids than one of my own. Kudos to those that do it successfully and are able to be their children's complete teacher. Teaching not only life skills but academics as well.