Sunday, March 29, 2009

Belly Bandit - Goodbye Flabdominals!

I always seem to be late on all the cool trends. It must be my lot in life. When my son was 1 I started noticing the really cute slings. I decided I needed one and tried very hard to teach him to sit in one. Teaching a walking toddler to sit in a sling at a park is impossible. I decided I needed another baby. Now, I have the perfect sling thanks to Polkadot Papoose and the perfectly perched baby in said sling thanks to my husband.

And now my daughter is 5 months old and here comes the next awesome product. Again, I'm just shy of being able to use it. Or am I?

The Belly Bandit is an abdominal wrap used right after delivery of your baby to help you regain your pre-pregnancy tummy. It's all the rage right now in the pregnancy world. Apparently, you are supposed to wrap your tummy after delivery to help reduce swelling of the uterus, stretch marks, strengthen your back muscles, and help your posture. According to the Belly Bandit's website and my mom, this has been going on for centeries all over the world.

This is wonderful information I could have used 5 months ago. I blame my still enlarged tummy, stretch marks and constant back pain on the fact I was never told of this news. Thanks mom.

I'm now carrying the Belly Bandit in my store so other moms out there will have a chance to decrease swelling, stretch marks, and back pain. I won't keep it a secret for you even though I'm jealous you'll get to use it and I didn't!

Think this product should be cause of a fourth baby for me? It is cool, but I think not.

Saturday, March 28, 2009


Here I type at 5:27am. I've been awake for almost an hour just lying in bed tossing and turning. There's no baby awake, no pee-soaked sheets to change, no vomiting kid, just me awake and waiting for something to happen.
My body has been trained that it only needs a good 5 hours of sleep. I learned that during the newborn months. The baby now sleeps 10-12 hours a night but I only continue to sleep 5. Back when the baby was up every few hours I dreamed of how wonderful it would be when she slept all night. How ironic that now she sleeps and I can't.
I'm assuming I'll probably never sleep a full night again. Probably the next time I'm really tired, there will be a screaming baby or pee-soaked sheets or a vomiting kid. That's just the way this mommy thing rolls.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Have You Ever Noticed...?

Here's my best Jerry Seinfeld impression....Mom Style!

Have you ever noticed it's either feast or famine with pacifiers? When my baby is good and happy I seem to find them all over. I'll have 15 laying on the counter. When she gets sick or just having a rough day, they are no where to be found. It's extremely hard to try to search under the crib for the elusive paci with a screaming, howling, kicking baby in your hands.

Have you ever noticed all hell breaks loose when you finally take the time to use the powder room? My kids can be sleeping, playing a game, or enthralled in a cartoon and if I choose to go to the bathroom, that's when the vomiting, broken bones, or violent fights break out. Luckily we have a bathroom in a very central part of the house so I can yell commands from there. Command central.

Have you ever noticed your kids interest in traffic laws and traffic devices increases in proportion to how late you are. "Mom, aren't you supposed to slow down at a yellow light?" "Mom, that sign says you can only go 35 miles per hour. How fast are you going?"

Have you ever noticed kids become increasingly energized on rainy days while adults become lethargic and just want to sleep. Rainy days normally equal a clash of personalities.

Do you have any "Have you ever noticed..."?

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Ultimate Blog Party 2009


Party? Did someone say party? I LOVE a good party. Who wants some spiked Kool-Aid? Whoo-hoo! I've been drinking it all day.

WELCOME to my blog! Just me here, Amanda, and my 7 whopping followers. They are totally awesome, supportive and fun people whom I don't know at all. I guess they are actually total strangers come to think of it. But they must be radically cool to be followers of Nanny Deprived.

Let me tell you a little about my blog. I have three kids who I try to not write about at all. In fact, I rarely mention them. Let's face it, they are kind of boring and no one really cares what they do except me and maybe the grandparents. They actually cramp my style a bit. Instead I write about their effect on me and my crazy, chaotic, insane, strange life I now live. I write about being a mom. Not about my kids.

Some of my past blogs include:
Mommy Haiku
Folical Fallout
The Difference Between Your First Baby and Your Third

I also own which is a totally fun place for moms. We sell products to make moms lives more fun and easier. Here are just a few of our awesome products.

Wanna see a sneak peek at our brand new line of Nanny Deprived Fun Mom T-shirts? We haven't even launched them yet. I apologize for the bad pictures. Professional ones are coming soon. You are the first to get to see them! I'm going to give one away FREE! Just leave a comment and let me know which one you like the best. You don't have to follow me, tweet about it, fan me or anything else. Just leave one comment. I'm a simple kind of gal and I don't force you to do things for additional entries. I'll randomly pick a winner and announce it next week. Be sure I have your email either in your profile or in your comment so I can contact you if you win.

Thanks for stopping by and visiting. Feel free to add yourself to my awesome gang of followers. Don't forget your cup of Kool-Aid!

Monday, March 16, 2009

Reserved For Crazy Moms

I drove by several open handicapped spots today while looking for a parking spot at the gym. After some meat head stole a spot out from under me, I ended up walking from almost 1/4 mile away while dragging one three year old and lugging the baby carrier which must weight at least 30lbs, in the rain. And yes, it was uphill both ways. That was more of a workout than I got AT the gym.

Why can't mom's with multiple children be considered handicapped? I would consider myself disabled. Trying to maneuver several children who are not looking, splashing in the puddles and dropping things is insane. Or maybe our society should create more special parking spots for parents with small children. There's a noble idea.

I love the new parking lots that leave one spot for Stork Parking or "People with Infants or Expectant Mothers." Like they are being so courteous. Those are normally found at mom hang outs like the mall or Babies R Us where EVERYONE is a mom. And there's only ONE spot.

I'm not trying to be offensive. I believe handicapped people should have close spots and I would never wish being disabled on anyone. But I'm just saying, it would be nice to have a close parking spot when it's pouring out and I have to lug to kids around.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Are You a Bad Mutha?

It's time for me to purge myself of my mommy sins. It's cleansing time -mommy confession.

I've been know to feed my kids goldfish, ice cream and pretzels for dinner when the husbands gone.

I don't feed my baby organic baby food. She eats the "other" non-organic food.

I often forget to meet my 5 year old across the street after school. Luckily, some stranger mom has taken it upon herself to walk her across. Thanks, stranger mom.

I fear days off of school because I'll have all three of my kids. I can't even think of this summer.

During the winter, I only bathe my kids twice a week.

My daughter likes to wear the same socks repeatedly(for days and days) and I let her.

When the laundry backs up and my son has no underwear, I let him go "commando".

I just got a letter from the library saying they were going to send my info to a collection agency because I owe more than $25 in fines.

I don't make my daughter do her homework until Friday morning.

I've been know to lie about her completing books when she hasn't. Mind you, I'm a former elementary teacher.

I could go on and on but I should probably wake the baby up and feed her or something.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Workers Compensation

I just tore up my finger while putting the frozen waffles back in the freezer. The ice maker was out to get me. Think I can file a workers comp claim? I got hurt on the job. No?

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Baby Food

I don't know who I'm kidding feeding my baby sweet potatoes, green beans and squash. I might as well throw some chicken nuggets, Cheetos, and Oreos in the food processor. That's what she's going to end up eating anyway. I know, I'm a bad mom.

Starting my other kids off with veggies didn't give them any type of profound love of vegetables. It's a fight to force them to eat anything not processed. Even the veggies they do eat are the ones you nuke for five minutes in the bag. Yummy.

Maybe someday my kids will appreciate me trying to feed them nutritious meals. Until then, I'll just keep throwing them the nuggets, Cheetos and Oreos and the occasional good meal.

Sunday, March 8, 2009


I want a snuggie and was very disappointed when I didn't get one for Valentine's day. I thought Valentine's day was the perfect opportunity to exchange "As Seen on TV" gifts for each other. I bought my husband the Perfect Push Up but I guess he wasn't aware of my new holiday tradition.

And so, I'm snuggieless. I have my old pink Dora blanket wrapped around my shoulders but my arms are so, so cold. I've thought of cutting holes in my Dora blanket to make it a "faux snuggie" or "fauggie" as I like to call it. Somehow I don't think it will be quite the same. Maybe I can hope for Easter, I'll get my Snuggie.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Ultimate Blog Party

The Five Minutes for Mom Ultimate Blog Party is coming. I'm stoked. What the hell does stoked mean anyway? That's one of the weirdest words I've ever heard. I always envision "stoking" a fire. How would that relate to being excited?

Anyway, back to my point. I had lots of fun being involved in the Ultimate Blog Party last year. I met some cool people and read some great blogs. Please join us this year even if you aren't a blogger or don't have a blog. You can still win some awesome prizes just by participating. Can you tell I have to write this in order to participate? Just curious at how sincere I sound.

Seriously, it is fun. If you'd like to read my post from last year you can see it here. Blog Party Post

Ultimate Blog Party 2009

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Hell No - The Muffin Top Won't Go

I've managed to lose 17lbs since January. It's been tough work. I've worked my butt off, literally. However, my tummy has decided to stay and hang out longer. I've got the non-baby bump and I don't love it.

I can now fit into jeans a size smaller but it's like squeezing the bottom of a balloon, making my flabdominals larger. I have to hike my pants up to stuff the belly into them. Somewhat like a fat Erkel Stevens minus the suspenders. I had bruises above my hips from where the grommets on the pockets dug into my excess tummy. Not pretty.

What exactly do I have to do, besides making a deal with the devil or a getting a tummy tuck, to get rid of this gigantic flab 0'tummy? I've been eating right, exercising, drinking water and serious amount of alcohol. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Why won't it go?

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

My Followers

Yeah? What are you looking at? You think you're cool because you have tons of followers? Your blog is better than mine?

My followers are my peeps, my homies. I'm proud of them. The fact that I only have three reminds me a little bit of high school but I won't go into that now. It's quality, not quantity.

It's all a popularity contest these days. Who has more friends on Facebook, twitter, their blogs. It wears me out. At least I don't have to bribe people to be followers by offering them free stuff. I know my followers are genuine people who want to read my blog. I didn't even tell my friends and family to follow me so I wouldn't look pathetic with only one or two. I embrace pathetic. I am pathetic. Although the thought of opening a few other blog accounts just so I could follow myself on this blog did cross my mind. But again, I won't go into that now.

I don't care if you choose to follow my blog or not. My followers and I are a tight knit group of strangers who don't really communicate. But if you want to join, the Nanny Deprived gang will gladly accept you with open arms. Then you'll be one of the "cool kids".

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Mommy Haiku

So, I've decided I need to be more zen like. I started drinking tea and writing haiku's and next I'll try yoga. I need something to reduce the amount of stress in my life; a.k.a, three kids, two dogs and a husband in a pear tree.

For your entertainment, I present, my haiku's.

a boy goes alone
the toilet flushes empty
droplets fill the floor

mother awoken
newborn baby cries softly
pray, hope for silence

very full baby
tummy time and peek-a-boo
the baby erupts

larger with each breath
perfectly round, green, yellow
the lone snot bubble

socks, shirts and undies
the never ending cycle
the pile grows big

Stay Tuned -For my next trick, I will tinker with Tankas!