Friday, October 23, 2009

Super-Non-Pooping Mom

Everyone Poops. I've read the book and have proof. If it's written, it must be fact, right?

Well so far I know it is true. I can speak for myself, in that, I poop. There, I said it. And until I evolve into Super-Non-Pooping Mom I will continue to have to poop. And that is unfortunate in itself because every time I need to use the restroom, the chaos begins.

Take the other day, for example. I decided it was time to "go" and found activities for each of my kids to keep them occupied. The oldest was doing homework, the baby had a new toy and the toddler was watching Sponge Bob. All was good and I decided it was time.

While I was having my moment, my oldest decided to slam her book down causing the dogs to bark, causing the baby to scream, causing the toddler to run to see what had happened causing him to trip and get a boo boo on his elbow.

I sat screaming in the bathroom, "What was that?" "What happened?" "Who's crying?" "Who's not crying?" "Why are the dogs barking?" Absolute mayhem, as normal.

I emerged from the bathroom, holding up my pants, hands unwashed, trying to figure out who to help first.

I hope I evolve quickly into Super-Non-Pooping Mom. It would come in rather handy but I imagine I'd be quite bloated.

6 comments:

Bonita Boutique said...

OMG.. you sound like me!!! Except for sometimes, my daugther opens the door, catches me on the throne and yells "MOMMY IS GOING POPO". I'm just waiting for that to happen when I have visitors. I guess if it ever does, I'll just lock myself in my room for.... forever!

mommy2CCnAC said...

i was laughing so hard. that is so true and the funniest. i'm so glad someone finally said it.
i also love when you just have to "go" in a public restroom with your kids in the stall with you and the 5 y/o saying.."are you pooping mom? oh...it stinks! let me out."

wee said...

i LOVE your blog and this post made my day. too funny!!! and SOOOOO true...

NICO Designs said...

You have the knack for making the insanity that I now deal with sound as if it is indeed okay. Thank you.

carol said...

Ah the truth about parenting. People complain they get no sleep but the fact is you can't even poop and pee in peace. I have a teenager who walks in on me in the bathroom and yells at me for being on the toilet. KNOCK you dumb teenager.

Divas 3 said...

That is too funny! This morning I was just wondering if I would ever get to go to the bathroom in peace ever again. lol