Thursday, March 20, 2008

Be the Best Toddler You Can Be

Did you think toddlers were born with the innate techniques to completely stress their moms out? No, of course not. The most stressful toddlers are taught these stress techniques at Nanny Deprived Boot Camp! Reserve your child's spot today.

Enroll your toddler now for these exciting training camps:

How to Bite with Force- A three hour intensive course filled with great tips such as
  • How to break skin
  • The right way to grind your teeth once you've bit
  • How to blame the bite on another child
How to be in the Wrong Place at the Right Time - A multi-session course teaching your toddler how to:
  • Stand in front of the door as mom tries to get everything in the car
  • Find the busiest place in the kitchen to play as mom prepares dinner
  • Know the exact stressful moment to demand to be held
The Worst Things You Can do While Having Your Diaper Changed - A mini-session in techniques to teach your toddler ways to ensure no one will ever want to change your child again. Your toddler will be taught:
  • How to successfully arch their back while legs are lifted leaving only their head on the ground
  • Correct twisting techniques to break mommy's ankle hold
  • Where to reach and what to touch to really gross mommy out
The Fine Art of the Perfect Tantrum - This three week long camp will ensure your child will be the BEST at tantrums. We will focus on:
  • Tantrums on the Move - How to take off your shoe and throw it at mommy while driving
  • Tantrums in Public - How to choose the perfect timing and location to really make an impact
  • How to Twist the Knife - Ways to kick mom while she's down

Spots are limited. We at Nanny Deprived will strive to make your toddler the best they can be!


selle said...

oh goodness i totally can relate. i have a two year old. enough said.

A Single Mom's Life said...

Though your boot camp sounds very informative, I think my 2 year old has mastered all of the above. But if you would like me to send her to you anyways...somedays I would be more than happy to ;)

We are THAT family said...

That was great. I love your blog! I found you thru the Ultimate Party and wanted to invite you over to my site for a fun contest this week. You could be my lucky winner or my unfortunate loser . . . either way, I hope you laugh a little.

PaperGal said...

yes, my daughter demands to be held when I am grocery shopping. No riding in that cart for her!