Watching that little line turn pink on a pregnancy test is the weirdest, most shocking moment in any moms life. To me, this moment was more memorable than the actual birth of my kids. The way you feel is indescribable. I shall try my best at describing my recent discovery of the fact that I am pregnant for my third time.
First of all, you've just finished peeing on a stick which is weird in itself. That aside, watching the test to see if your life is about to change or not is so panic provoking. You feel every second waiting for that test. Next comes the, "Is that a line?" "Is that turning pink?" At this point, your heart starts pounding so loud you can feel it in your ears. You are squinting and focused so intently on that little line. Finally comes the confirmation, "Yep, that's a line!" At this point, I usually check the pregnancy test box again just to double check that two lines mean pregnant. Once that's done and it's confirmed, my emotions go haywire.
I wish I had a camcorder on my face when I had just learned I'm pregnant for my third time. I would have loved to see my enormous smile and very flushed cheeks from the adrenaline rush turn into a panicked look of dread. That's how I felt. My first emotion was pure happiness and joy followed quickly by pure panic and dread. Here are my thoughts as I remember them:
I'm pregnant! I'm going to have a baby! - happy
I'm going to be fat and uncomfortable! - dread
I get to hold a little baby again! - joy
I won't sleep again for a year! - panic
My kids are going to have a baby brother or sister. - happy
My kids are going to have a baby brother or sister.- dread
How's my husband going to take this? - panic
I'm going to have to loose all that weight again! - dread
I get to breastfeed again! - joy
Baby Clothes! - happy
Shopping for baby! - joy
Paying for baby! - dread
All this happened while still sitting on the toilet, pants down, in less than two minutes. My life had changed in a blink of an eye or a drop of some urine.
Next comes the 48 hours of numbness. You can't think of anything else besides the fact that you are pregnant and what's going to happen. I get a little bit stupid and forget anything important during those 48 hours such as taking care of my existing kids.
I remember my 48 hours of numbness with my first pregnancy. I was teaching 5th grade. My poor students had free reading the entire day. I just sat at my desk and looked out the window.
So far, the three moments when I found out I was pregnant with my babies have been the most physically and emotionally memorable and strange moments in my life. This may all change once I have three kids under 6 living with me. I'm sure I'll have some very strange moments then!
Oh man, what have I done? :)