Horders: For Kids

I'm pretty sure A&E could have filmed a good episode of Horders at our house while cleaning out my daughter's closet the other day. I finally got so overwhelmed at the fact that I couldn't get in there to hang up clothes that I decided enough was enough.

Armed with garbage bags, boxes, and my 4 year old we went up for an intervention. We barged in on my daughter's "Fortress of Solitude" and as soon as she saw the garbage bags the tears started. I pleaded and begged and tried all of the tactics the way-too-nice and calm therapists on Horders try. Lacking time and patience I started grabbing handfuls of broken crayons, candy wrappers, puzzle pieces, Ponyville fodder, and what not and began throwing it away. Under some of the debris, I'm ashamed to report, I did find several pet shop carcasses who must have been buried alive.

My daughter, seeing the progress eventually got on board. But then the negotiation started on every toy.

Me: "Do you really need this pony? It only has one eye and the hair is all gone from it's head. It's a little scary."

Horder: "Mommy, I like that pony. I NEED that Pony."

Me: "Ok, well what about this old castle? It's seen happier days."

Horder: "Ok, but can I get a new castle?"

My poor 4 year old soon stood there like all of the relatives on Horders. Ashamed, broken and just happy to get handed anything throw away.

Three garbage bags later, we were left with a small pony land, Pet Shop villa and a small zhu zhu pit stop. My daughter will get one toy (with no small pieces) as a reward. Those pet shop who were crushed from the debris have now been brought back to life and have been given a happy home. ;)

Children Welcome! (But not really...)

A good friend of mine threw a birthday party for her husband last night and the invitation clearly stated "Children welcome!". Not having a babysitter, I cleaned them, dressed them and drug them along with me and my party pitcher of Sangria. When we got there, my customary 45 minutes late, it was a small gathering of 5 adults and 2 kids. Perfect! More adults started to arrive, each couple bringing atleast a 12 pack of beer with them. Please note I said "couple" and "beer" not "moms" and "kids". They ALLLLLL left their kids home. I secretly started to hate each of them. At around 7, the birthday parents put their 15 month old to bed, and the other couple who had brought their son got "tired" and departed. It was down to my 2 kids. Amazingly throughout the 2 hours we had been there, my kids didn't make a peep. The 10 month old was quite a social crawler..making his way around the patio, picking up the occasional dropped chip and stopping to splash in the water table. My 6 year old had taken to creating a chalk art masterpiece and leisurely sipping virgin sangria quietly. I could not have asked for better behaved kids. Yet- why did I feel the "Are you going to take those kids home" eyes on me? Maybe it was my imagination but...I instantly felt out of place and like the "Children welcome" had expired- simply due to the fact that noone else brought theirs. Like Carrie Bradshaw was "Shoe shamed" for having expensive shoes at a party...I was "Kid shamed". The party hosts were gracious...it was the rest of the guests that I think were relieved when I quietly rounded them up and brought them home. Arriving home at like- 8, was NOT what I envisioned. *Sigh...

Any of you ever have this happen? What did you do?

Just Say No

Never again. I'm not doing it. No. I will refuse to be room mom ever again. Someone shoot me if I ever do it. Although, I somewhat remember thinking this exact same thing before.

Here I am covered in class frames, year books, and teacher gift cards...literally. I'm not kidding.

I'm trying to throw together this and that. I need to ask for some donations without asking for too much as per the demands of the PTA. Who are those people anyway? I want to throw a nice end of year party but don't want to over do it. I'm worried if I should pre-paint the frames or not before letting the kids glue sequins all over them. Seriously? No. No more. Why am I worried about this? Do I even remember my 1st grade class party? Did we even have class parties back then? Did we even have room moms? What's the purpose of a room mom?

Why is the end of the year so hectic? It's like some big hurdle that you have to jump over before you get to lay around and be lazy. I can't wait for that first week of summer. But only the first week. By the end of the summer I'll be so ready for school I'll probably volunteer to be room mom!

The checklist

If stroller shopping excites you more than a night out- You might be a Stay at Home Mom.

If you own makeup older than your first born- You might be a Stay at Home Mom.

If you blow the dust off your FAVORITE heels so your daughter can play dress up- You might be a Stay at Home Mom.

If shopping at NY&Co makes you angry due to their limited Terry Cloth selection- You might be a Stay at Home mom.

If you own Fit Flops in every color choice- You might be a Stay at Home mom.

If you go in to Starbucks just because it gives you something to do-You might be a Stay at Home mom.

If you can tell where your child is in the house, based solely upon the sound of the toys they are playing with- You might be a Stay at home mom.

If the photos you have uploaded to FB contain nothing but your children and or the messes they've created in the last week- You might be a Stay at home mom.

If you walk around the house wracking your brain for things to blog about besides your children- You are DEFINITELY a Stay at Home Mom!!

Do you have any others???

3:57 AM

I'm slowly pulled from my deep warm happy sleep. I lay still, not wanting to move, keeping all of my muscles asleep. I finally open my eyes and look at the clock. 3:57. I sill refuse to move the rest of my body, hoping I can just close my eyes and go back to sleep. I turn on my mom hearing and wait for the inevitable sound I know I'll soon hear. I know there is a reason I've woken up, my mom instincts. I listen to my husband, completely asleep. His dad instincts are working well!

A few sleepy seconds later I hear a muffled cry. I wince, knowing I need to get up. Finally, the one word comes that makes me finally move my body out of my restful position, "mommy!"

The sock conspiracy

Somewhere lurking deep in my dryer vents is an evil gnome. This gnome's sole purpose in life is to abscond and eat my baby socks...and not just any old baby socks....my matching Gymboree baby socks that I go to the ends of the earth to find. Case in point...I bought my son the "rock star" collection and could have sworn I bought the socks too. I tore my whole house apart and did not find said socks. (Sane people do this, right?) Therefore, I called a few of my local Gymborees to find the socks. They tell me the socks are "hard to find" which only strengthens my resolve to get them. I then turned to my good friend Ebay...no dice. I then decided to start calling the Gymboree stores by my dad in Pennsylvania (UGH-there are only 2 within driving distance of him!!) No luck. I call all 8 stores by my mom in Central Florida. No luck. By this point, I have this scary gleam in my eye which makes my husband keep reading me store numbers from the website. Fear motivates people.

The rest of Nevada? No.

Idaho? No.

I have a friend in North Dakota in the Air Force so I call the store by him...NO.

My Aunt lives in Massachusetts and NOTHING is worse than hearing "We don't have those Sawcks" in the Bawstin accent.

Utah? There's millions of mormon kids who can't possibly wear socks associated with rock stars...they MUST have some in Salt Lake City???? No.

Colorado...its only two states away from us...YES!!!!!!!

The chick who answered the phone must have thought that these damn socks were the holy grail or the cure to cancer because I WAS SO EXCITED. If it were possible to kiss someone through the phone-- I totally did.

The cost of the socks? $3.69

Fedex-ing the socks? $7.99

I didn't care...I would have paid twice that because I. WON.

Back to my original point about the dryer....one guitar sock is gone. Just...gone. I've looked in everyone's underwear drawer...shook out all the towels and no....its not here.

I think the gnome has it...the one who has 10 other baby sock halves hidden in there....and now he got my rockstar sock. I'll get you gnome...if its the last thing I do....

French's recipe ideas (because I like winning things :))

So, French's has a great recipe giveaway for Mother's Day and..I personally like winning things so- I am posting a recipe of theirs and a recipe of my own. In theory you are supposed to make it easy enough so your kids can do it with YOU....my secret hope is that the recipes are easy enough that your husband can make them with your kids--thereby relieving you of cooking on MD. Pretty sneaky, eh???

What are your kids doing for you for Mother's Day????

Hope its Great..

Candy

This is the recipe posted from the official French's site: Yummmmm.....

High Resolution Image Courtesy of French’s French Fried Onions

CRUNCHY COCONUT SHRIMP

Prep Time: 10 min. Cook Time: 10 min.

1 1/3 cups (2.8 oz.) FRENCH'S® Original French Fried Onions

1/3 cup flaked, sweetened coconut

1/2 cup all-purpose flour

1 lb. large shrimp, shelled and deveined

2 egg whites, beaten

1. PLACE French Fried Onions and coconut into plastic bag. Lightly crush with hands or rolling pin. Transfer to pie plate or waxed paper.

2. PLACE flour in another plastic bag. Add shrimp; shake to coat.

3. DIP shrimp into egg whites. Coat with onion mixture, pressing firmly to adhere.

4. BAKE shrimp at 400°F for 10 min. until shrimp are fully cooked and crispy.

Makes 4 servings

Look for FRENCH'S® French Fried Onions in the canned vegetable aisle!

Variation: Add 1 tsp. curry powder to crushed onions.

Here is my recipe:

Easy and tasty pasta salad

Boil 1 lb any style macaroni (use something different than elbows...they're so boring :))

Wash and Chop 2 sticks of celery (fine or chunky..depending on your preference)

Hard boil, peel and chop 2 eggs

Wash, core and chop one bell pepper (I like red for color)

Mix all ingredients together in a large bowl

Then add 1/2 cup mayonnaise

1/2 cup sour cream

and 1-2 TBS FRENCH'S yellow or Spicy yellow mustard. You can add more mustard in 1 TBS. increments if you want more mustard flavor.

Salt and pepper to taste

Stir REALLY well to coat all pasta.

Chill and serve!!!

Optional:

You can add 1/2 yellow onion or red onion to this recipe if you want to. My family doesn't care for onions so- I leave it out!

If your household is not a "mayo" household...you can add Italian dressing in 1 tbs increments instead of mayo. You just need to stir harder to coat!

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No-TV Week

I've heard about this, but having not had a child in school, it was still the stuff of folklore. A week when they ask all the kids, and their parents to watch NO TV. Not at all. Everyday you get a coupon, signed by mom or dad that says that you didn't watch TV. I have a couple of issues with this. First, my kids don't watch that much TV. When they do, its usually so I can take my 2 or 3 time a week shower (Ok, I shower more than that, my hair just doesn't get washed every day- ok?), or so I can cook dinner, or because some kids TV programming is actually pretty beneficial in my opinion (For the record, I HATE shows that want your kids to talk back to the TV set, like they are having a conversation, my kids eyes all glazed over, telling Mickey or Dora what tool to use. Its just creepy)
Second, its usually on a week where the kids are out of school 2 days for Parent Teacher Conferences. Really? Two entire days at home, its still not that springish here, they can't play outside for long, and they aren't supposed to watch TV. Which means that while I'm supposed to be doing the things I'm supposed to be doing, they are bored and need someone to play dress up. I love playing dressup, don't get me wrong, but REALLY? While they are at home all day?
My second problem is that NO TV Week also happens to fall during the NBA finals, and heaven forbid my husband doesn't watch the Utah Jazz. So we've got "Daddy, its no TV Week, for the WHOLE FAMILY!" Him turning up the TV, her crying as if her eyes have been burned by the very sight of the illuminated set.
SO, I think the point of No TV Week is for families to do things together, for kids to play, read books, etc. Which is fine with my husband if the family watches the NBA together.... So, we made it 3 out of the 5 days. All the coupons get entered into a drawing and someone wins some prize for being the most obedient non-watcher of TV. My guess is that we won't be winning any prizes on that one, ever.


Thanks to our special guest writer Tasha for this post!

What to do...what to do?

Oh Saturday...I wait for you excitedly and...really...for no reason.

All my days are like Saturdays- sans taking my DD to school (which, I don't do anyways--I do the dressing and feeding- DH does the driving) so...Saturday really holds no fabulous-ness apart from the other days of the week. DH goes to work all weekend, so its business as usual for the kids and I.

Yet...theres something about it. A freedom that allows you to use it as an excuse even...."I don't want to clean..its Saturday!" Honestly, I don't clean any other day of the week either so...why should Saturday be any different? We have no place to be, no obligations to meet and I just love it. What are your Saturday's like?