A Trip to the Dr.'s Office

It's that time again. Time for a well visit for my baby. I loathe going to the Dr. There is something about being closed in a tiny room with my kids that makes me sweat just thinking about it.

Somehow I always manage to schedule appointments right smack dab in the middle of naptime or when the baby should be hungry. Even with my gigantic Mary Poppins magic diaper bag stocked full of everything ever needed for a baby and a toddler, something always seems to go wrong.

I was that parent in the waiting room that everyone likes to stare at with the screaming baby and insanely loud toddler asking strange questions. You know that parent. There's always one there that seems to be the entertainment for the rest. I was her.

My son kept asking why we couldn't go into the sick side of the waiting room. I'd quietly explain and then he'd point at the people over there and say very loudly (the only way he can talk) "Those people are sick and have germs." I immediately began thinking, "where the hell is the nurse?" "We've been here for 20 minutes."

Of course by now the baby is full on screaming because she's hungry but I'm not about to whip it out in front of my audience. So I continue to try to bounce the baby and distract my pointing son. I start pulling out video games, snacks and pacifiers which is right when the nurse comes to call us. Of course.

And so we go to that forbidden room. They shut the door with a, "The Dr. will be right in." Yeah, and my name is Mary Poppins. I start reading the same ripped book that was there last time I came, 3 months ago. That poor book. I bet it's been read out of desperation so many times.

I hear the Dr outside and I decide to use my emergency plan and shove a sucker in my son's mouth so he won't talk. The plan worked like a charm. Score one for mommy.

Meanwhile I've got the now hysterically tired and hungry baby. The Dr. comes in and tries to examine her while making shushing noises which I know isn't going to work. She eventually stops the noises and her attempts to quiet the baby and starts examining her at lightning speed. All is well. Now we wait for the shots. Good fun.

Fifty five minutes, two suckers, and three shots later I run out of the office safe for another three months.