Open Apology to Stay at Home Mothers

Dear Stay at Home Mothers Everywhere,
I'm sorry.

There- I said it.

I am so exceptionally sorry for talking about you, and being jealous of your "luxurious" existence. I had no clue and for that, you are owed an apology. Your job is harder than it looks.
Prior to the birth of my son I thought " Stay at home mothers can't possibly have a tough time. What the heck am I going to DO all day?" HA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! My days have never gone by so quickly!!! I don't even know what day it is, let alone what time. For the record, its 11:42 pm and I haven't finished putting the groceries away, the dishwasher isn't loaded for its nightly washing and I still have 3 loads of laundry left to finish. I no longer have a set "to do" list..its more like a "fly by the seat of your pants" experience. Here's what I did today (in no particular order): 6 loads of laundry, 2 children bathed, 1 child to and from school, 6 diaper changes, battled infant to drink one bottle of poop inducing apple juice, sent 1 sorely neglected husband off to work, changed 2 sets of sheets, cooked 3 meals and prepped one for tomorrow, grocery shopped for 1 hour. I'm exhausted and yet, it feels like I did nothing. How do you ladies do it? Perhaps some of you veterans need to offer a boot camp for rookies. People need to be informed before signing up for this...it certainly ain't for sissies.

In It To Win It

I'll admit it. I frequently cheat at kids games. I've been known to stack the cards at Candy Land or to tell a little white lie during Go Fish. My three year old can't count so I can totally tell him 32 is bigger than 43 druing Big Fish, Little Fish. No harm no foul.

If I'm going to take time out to play a game I had better win. I know, many of you are thinking badly of me. But my kids are tough competitors. They try super hard and love it even more when they do win. They even love it more when they catch me cheating and call me out on it. I don't baby them. They know how to loose. When they loose they just want to try again and I love that. One day, they'll cheat better than me and take me down. Until then I'll just keep beating them with the occasional free win to keep the taste of victory in their greedy little mouths.

Anyone up for some Chutes and Ladders? Muhwaha!

Sin(less) City

Greetings from Fabulous Las Vegas!

I thought I knew motherhood..I thought I was pretty dang good at it. Single, working motherhood agreed with me. I had a great job that enabled me to travel, a well balanced 5 year old daughter and a closet stuffed with Juicy Couture. I enabled an employees termination from my blackberry while on a ride at Disneyland once. Who could possibly want more from life? Not so much a matter of "who" exactly but of "what". My biological clock...thats what. My apparently deeply buried need to be domestic and sign up for another c-section about two and a half months after my whirlwind, impromptu marriage in Vegas to my best friend turned love-of-my- life ..thats what. DOH!!
Fast forward to now, 5 months after I lost aforementioned good job (Thanks economy!) 5 weeks post birth of new baby boy and 2.5 weeks post move cross country from Orlando to Las Vegas, NV. My title has gone from "Working Mommy of 1" to "Stay at home Mommy of 2". Had you told me this would be my reality a year ago, you would have gotten a (very well-manicured) finger response.
I'm learning that Mommy-hood in Sin City may be even more of a challenge than regular old Mommy-hood. (Regular! HA!) For example, the other night I was pushing my infant down the Strip (yes.. I wanted to get out of the house so we went to visit Daddy at work) and an old man walks up to me and yells "You are a bad mother! You bring your child to Las Vegas????" I gasp. He makes the Catholic "sign of the cross" on himself and walks away. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? At first I felt guilty (because thats what "bad" Catholics feel when confronted with "good" Catholics, right?)
Then I thought "Hey buddy! I'm bringing my baby to visit his dad on his lunch hour!! Isn't that what everyone in Vegas does? Spends quality family time while slot machine's chime and roulette tables click?" On second thought, I'm kind of glad I didn't get to defend myself. I know what I'm doing... or do I?

Thanks for reading my first blog post.. I'm extremely excited to join Amanda in blogging madness!

A Re-Birth

My business has been booming and I'm wonderfully excited and greatful. However I've been neglecting someone very special to me. I like to consider my blog my 4th child.

I've been there for it through sickness and health. My blog stood by me during the great Miracle Blanket debacle. I've raised it, beautified it, brought it out into the world and now I feel just awful at how I've been treating it. It's been a great blog, bringing me visitors, sales, and most of all smiles to my face from all of the great comments.

As I can't let it go, I've decided to give it a re-birth by inviting one of my greatest friends to write on it. I'm so excited to introduce my great friend Candy who will be guest writing on Nanny Deprived - The Blog.

Grandma Detox

It's day 5 of Grandma detox. My mother in law left on Monday. The kids took it hard. There was a fair amount of shaking and rolling around on the floor.

We had to relearn the meaning of the word "no" again. The kids didn't understand why I didn't spring up out of my chair to top off their juice cups. Snacks were not delivered to them the precise moment they asked for them. And most important of all, they couldn't comprehend why they didn't get ice cream every night.

I'm happy to report they are slowly returning to their pre-grandma visit selves. It's been a hard journey but we are almost there.

Four Day Old Cheese Dip

Here I sit. Exhausted from a long day of teething, first days of school, and a bored toddler. They've all gone to bed. The music choice 90's channel is on and I'm rocking out to some old Whitney Houston. I just got to sit down to eat my dinner at 9:30pm. Four day old cheese dip and slightly stale tortilla chips is my delicious dinner. I'm in my rocking chair watching the heat lightning out the window. Sometimes things can be so right. That or I'm just really tired and everything seems so perfect.

I HATE Laundry

I know. Big shock. Another mom blogger writing about the hell that is laundry. I think the reason everyone hates it so much is the fact that it never ends.

I'm going to invent eco friendly disposable clothes. They can be made out of tissues or something. Maybe hemp. Once you wear them you just throw them away. I love it.

Is it bad that I don't get my baby dressed unless we are leaving the house. She just roams around in a diaper because it's less laundry. I know. I'm ashamed.

Alright, here I go to do another load. Blah.

Back to School Contest

Back to school. Back to school. To prove to Dad that I'm no fool. Got my shoes tied up tight. Hope I don't get in a fight.

The first person to comment and tell me where the above song is from gets a free bottle of MomSpit to clean up those little faces! I'm feeling a little bit crazy today. Maybe it's the caffeine. Maybe it's the lack of sleep but I've been singing the above song all day in tribute to my daughter going back to school.

I can only afford to ship to the continental US so please do not enter if I can't ship to you.

Happy Back to School Season Everyone!