Mommy Math

Some Mommy Equations for your enjoyment:


5 hours at the pool = 3 kids asleep before 6 pm.

3 kids + 2 dogs + 1 traveling husband = 1 exhausted mommy

3 meals a day X (1 baby + 1 toddler who eats anything + 1 Kindergartner who won't eat anything + 1 mom trying to loose weight + 1 dad trying to gain weight) = 15 separate meals a day cooked.

3 kids each wear an average of 2 outfits a day. 1 mommy wears two outfits a day due to babyspit. 1 Daddy wears 2 outfits a day. How many loads of laundry must be done a day to keep up? Answer: 14


If each of three kids can get out 1 toy every three minutes, how many toys are out after and hour? I can't answer because I'm too busy cleaning up toys.

I'd Like to Thank the Academy...

I've been awarded the One Fine Blog Award by these fine blogs:
Popular Baby Products
Marielynne Boutique Blog
Little Miss Julia Blog
Cool Stuff for Dads (I like to think of this website as my website's other half!)

I thank them for their generosity in thinking of me and my humble blog.

I'd like to take a moment to thank my super crazy kids for the motivation in my writing. I'd like to thank my husband for knocking me up to produce those kids who are the motivation of my writing. I'd like to thank my Dad for sending me to college where I met my husband who knocked me up and gave me my kids which are my motivation. I'll just stop there.

I would also like to thank my 38 followers! WOOT! I still have a special place in my heart for my original 6 who were there with me through thick and thin after my blog make-over recovery. It was a tough time and they were the most supportive group of strangers I'll ever not know. But I'm very pleased with all the great comments that fill my inbox from my followers. You all give me a chuckle every day!

I'm off to go think of something to write about. I feel a little haiku coming on...

Nanny Deprived Photo Contest

We are tired of cute kids plastered everywhere. We want to see the disgusting, naughty, angry and ugly kids. That's what being Nanny Deprived is all about.

This contest will run from June 15th until July 6th. The winner will be the photo with the most votes on July 6th at noon EST (we can't stay up till midnight). The proud owner of the "Naughty Kid" will win their choice of a Nanny Deprived non-bling Mom T-shirt or a custom t-shirt made with the winning picture.

Congratulations to Entry #3! The first winner of our contest! We will contact you shortly about your prize.

If you have a naughty kid picture and want to enter the next contest, please find all of the information here.

This contest is now over. Entry #3 was the winner with 75 votes!

Entry #1 Emily "I just hit the formula JACKPOT!"



Entry #2 Mackenzie "I don't see any paint."



Entry #3 Sarai "Ice cream makes great hair gel!"




Entry #4 Gum wrapped around neck! "I waited 4 years for this!"




Entry #5 Laura Mae "Self Haircut"



Entry #6 "Look Mama - Santa brought me a Sharpie for Christmas."




Entry #7 Logan "Caught Red Handed!"




Entry #8 "I just finished the laundry for you."

Feel free to vote daily! Be sure to enter your own picture here!




Help us promote our Naughty Kid Photo Contest by clicking below!

I'm Exhausted

This past week I've gone through preschool pirate parties, park field trips, field day, teacher gifts, snack duty for the end of the year party and one last soccer party. I'm going to throw a "The Parties are over Party". That's something to be excited about.

It's a good thing summer break is coming so I can sit and do nothing. I wish.

My Mommy Nemesis

If there is one thing I hate more than anything about my job as mommy, it's juice box straw wrappers. Those little plastic wrappers that go around the straws plague me. First of all, they are impossible to get the straw out of. Second, I find them everywhere. I've found them in the washing machine, my bed, my shoes and always in my pockets. The strange thing is that I rarely give my kids juice boxes. Every time I turn around one is staring at me from some random place. Somehow they never make it to the garbage and end up taking over my life. I'll be so happy when my kids are done with juice boxes and on to guzzling soda just so I won't have to scrape those wrappers off of the lint screen in the dryer.

What's your "Mommy Nemesis"?

Crusing with Kids

I am both the pilot and stewardess of my minivan. Not only do I navigate U-turns but I'm often opening a bag of chips at the very same time. I amaze myself. I have mastered changing the DVD for inflight viewing in the exact amount of time it takes to sit at a red light. I can mix up a sippy cup full of strawberry milk while merging onto the interstate. Everyone has their proper beverage, snack and entertainment in my car. Only happy passengers here.

Dangerous you say? Survival I say. Dangerous is driving with kids screaming behind you. I'm all about making them happy while I'm driving. I have my own little beverage cart set up in the passenger seat with drinks, snacks and anything else that will keep them happy for the amount of time I need to drive. I can throw back a snack with percise accuracy. Even the baby has a mountain of toys and pacifiers attached to her car seat. Happy passengers equals happy pilots.

I Sleep Around

Around my house that is. I frequently bed hop at night hitting a few rooms for a few hours. It's a great party consisting of being startled awake, being kicked in the stomach, rubbing backs, and the occasional vomit. I never know where I'm going to wake up. It's my occupational hazard.

After baby one, hubby and I decided to not allow kids in our bed. Instead our kids have large beds where we can lay with them and comfort them if they need it. You put a three year old with growing pains and a horrible fear that the house will be sucked into outer space, a five year old with school anxiety, and a newborn together and you get many sleepless nights. It's the old musical beds here. Gotta love it!