Fauggie

I want a snuggie and was very disappointed when I didn't get one for Valentine's day. I thought Valentine's day was the perfect opportunity to exchange "As Seen on TV" gifts for each other. I bought my husband the Perfect Push Up but I guess he wasn't aware of my new holiday tradition.

And so, I'm snuggieless. I have my old pink Dora blanket wrapped around my shoulders but my arms are so, so cold. I've thought of cutting holes in my Dora blanket to make it a "faux snuggie" or "fauggie" as I like to call it. Somehow I don't think it will be quite the same. Maybe I can hope for Easter, I'll get my Snuggie.

Ultimate Blog Party

The Five Minutes for Mom Ultimate Blog Party is coming. I'm stoked. What the hell does stoked mean anyway? That's one of the weirdest words I've ever heard. I always envision "stoking" a fire. How would that relate to being excited?

Anyway, back to my point. I had lots of fun being involved in the Ultimate Blog Party last year. I met some cool people and read some great blogs. Please join us this year even if you aren't a blogger or don't have a blog. You can still win some awesome prizes just by participating. Can you tell I have to write this in order to participate? Just curious at how sincere I sound.

Seriously, it is fun. If you'd like to read my post from last year you can see it here. Blog Party Post

Hell No - The Muffin Top Won't Go

I've managed to lose 17lbs since January. It's been tough work. I've worked my butt off, literally. However, my tummy has decided to stay and hang out longer. I've got the non-baby bump and I don't love it.

I can now fit into jeans a size smaller but it's like squeezing the bottom of a balloon, making my flabdominals larger. I have to hike my pants up to stuff the belly into them. Somewhat like a fat Erkel Stevens minus the suspenders. I had bruises above my hips from where the grommets on the pockets dug into my excess tummy. Not pretty.

What exactly do I have to do, besides making a deal with the devil or a getting a tummy tuck, to get rid of this gigantic flab 0'tummy? I've been eating right, exercising, drinking water and serious amount of alcohol. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Why won't it go?

My Followers

Yeah? What are you looking at? You think you're cool because you have tons of followers? Your blog is better than mine?

My followers are my peeps, my homies. I'm proud of them. The fact that I only have three reminds me a little bit of high school but I won't go into that now. It's quality, not quantity.

It's all a popularity contest these days. Who has more friends on Facebook, twitter, their blogs. It wears me out. At least I don't have to bribe people to be followers by offering them free stuff. I know my followers are genuine people who want to read my blog. I didn't even tell my friends and family to follow me so I wouldn't look pathetic with only one or two. I embrace pathetic. I am pathetic. Although the thought of opening a few other blog accounts just so I could follow myself on this blog did cross my mind. But again, I won't go into that now.

I don't care if you choose to follow my blog or not. My followers and I are a tight knit group of strangers who don't really communicate. But if you want to join, the Nanny Deprived gang will gladly accept you with open arms. Then you'll be one of the "cool kids".

Mommy Haiku

So, I've decided I need to be more zen like. I started drinking tea and writing haiku's and next I'll try yoga. I need something to reduce the amount of stress in my life; a.k.a, three kids, two dogs and a husband in a pear tree.

For your entertainment, I present, my haiku's.


a boy goes alone
the toilet flushes empty
droplets fill the floor


mother awoken
newborn baby cries softly
pray, hope for silence

very full baby
tummy time and peek-a-boo
the baby erupts

larger with each breath
perfectly round, green, yellow
the lone snot bubble

socks, shirts and undies
the never ending cycle
the pile grows big



Stay Tuned -For my next trick, I will tinker with Tankas!