I've been working on this post for awhile now. I just keep adding to it as I say these horrific things. I'm sure everyone has a few of these they can recall.
Things I've Actually Said as a Mommy:
Why are your panties up there and how did you get them up there?
There's no crying in the Jumparoo!
Pee Pee goes in the potty, not on the wall.
I'm pretty sure the dog does not like wearing tutus.
Please just make faces at the baby for 5 minutes so I can get dressed.
Me to stranger: Can you please hold my baby so I can wipe my son's butt?
Keep it up and we'll be at the ER tonight.
Your Pee Pee (penis) is not invited to the dinner table.
Let's stop singing songs about death.
At least you fell on your knee and not your face.
Hurted is not a word.
This is my favorite episode of SpongeBob!
Do you have any "Did I just say that" moments you can recall?