Cautionary Tale

DO. NOT. SPRAY. TAN. EVER.

and when I say "EVER" I mean EVER.

I am the daughter George Hamilton never knew he had.

I have never seen my teeth so white.

I have never seen my skin looking more diseased.

I'm lucky I don't own any suspenders because I would surely be mistaken for an Oompa Loompa.

I love the fact that I can wear pants all the time.

My husband keeps looking away because he says its hard to take me seriously.

All I wanted to be was tan...and Groupon made it possible for such a good price.

Why Groupon??

?? Why have you failed me????

My daughter told me that "you should have a very great artist draw your face and you can glue it onto your face with washable glue until you look regular again."

Sigh....