Genes

I think I may start raising funds for a whole new type of genetic testing. Not to cure cancer, or something worthwhile mind you, but to see on which DNA strand the marker for "shopping" is. I am near positive it is an inherited trait, passed down dominantly in females- from mother to child.

If my theory is correct, then I would like to isolate and remove it. The money spent for surgical removal of said defective gene will definitely be made up by NOT going to Kohls, Gymboree or J.Crew. Maybe insurance would even cover the surgery. If we weren't shopping, our stress levels at holiday time would be reduced. People wouldn't get sick from standing out in the cold on Black Friday. Noone would risk their lives on bad roads to make it to Kohl's Night Owl deals. Not shopping most definitely has its health benefits.

Of course, there are the side effects. No "shoppers high". Is there anything else as fun (G rated, of course) as toting your wares into the house- so proud that you remembered the coupon or that you scooped up the last pair of socks in a 12-18 months? Don't you do a little dance in the dressing room when something on the clearance rack is adorable AND fits?? The thrill of the hunt...the glory of the kill (or, the "checking out" in this case...I tend to get a little carried away when talking coupons.) Its primal, I tell you. I'm helpless against it, I was born this way- I swear!

Candy