Let's go get a Vasectomy! Wooooooo!!

There comes a time when we Mommies will have a decision to make...Do we want another baby or are we "done"? If you want another baby then...my hat is off to you because I am firmly on the fence about the whole thing. I think I may decide by the time all my eggs have shriveled up and will only produce babies who talk like Urkel or will grow up to be something terrible- like a Civil War re-enactor.

Unfortunately, until you're at that point...theres tons and tons of options for us women. IUD, pills, shots, etc... why is there really only one option for men? It amuses me that whenever you say the word "Vasectomy" to a dude...his face scrunches up and he cringes...

What if they made Vasectomy's fun?????? Imagine this...

You walk into a dimly

lit waiting room, filled with comfy leather chairs and dude magazines. The nurses are all hotties clad in "naughty nurse" uniforms as they take your insurance information and tell you "the Dr will be with you soon." Once inside "the room"- its like a guy paradise...nothing sterile white with 42 inch plasma playing sports or whatever they guy chooses. Once the deal is done- they get to pick a prize! Yaaaayyy!! No stickers or lollipops though...like- a round of golf or a coupon for some lovin' once their little surgery is healed.

Sound nice, huh?

??

Almost makes me want to go to Vasectomy school just so I can learn how and open this gold mine for myself!

I mean really...we pushed those little bugger out or had c-sections....don't they owe this to us?

Horders: For Kids

I'm pretty sure A&E could have filmed a good episode of Horders at our house while cleaning out my daughter's closet the other day. I finally got so overwhelmed at the fact that I couldn't get in there to hang up clothes that I decided enough was enough.

Armed with garbage bags, boxes, and my 4 year old we went up for an intervention. We barged in on my daughter's "Fortress of Solitude" and as soon as she saw the garbage bags the tears started. I pleaded and begged and tried all of the tactics the way-too-nice and calm therapists on Horders try. Lacking time and patience I started grabbing handfuls of broken crayons, candy wrappers, puzzle pieces, Ponyville fodder, and what not and began throwing it away. Under some of the debris, I'm ashamed to report, I did find several pet shop carcasses who must have been buried alive.

My daughter, seeing the progress eventually got on board. But then the negotiation started on every toy.

Me: "Do you really need this pony? It only has one eye and the hair is all gone from it's head. It's a little scary."

Horder: "Mommy, I like that pony. I NEED that Pony."

Me: "Ok, well what about this old castle? It's seen happier days."

Horder: "Ok, but can I get a new castle?"

My poor 4 year old soon stood there like all of the relatives on Horders. Ashamed, broken and just happy to get handed anything throw away.

Three garbage bags later, we were left with a small pony land, Pet Shop villa and a small zhu zhu pit stop. My daughter will get one toy (with no small pieces) as a reward. Those pet shop who were crushed from the debris have now been brought back to life and have been given a happy home. ;)

Children Welcome! (But not really...)

A good friend of mine threw a birthday party for her husband last night and the invitation clearly stated "Children welcome!". Not having a babysitter, I cleaned them, dressed them and drug them along with me and my party pitcher of Sangria. When we got there, my customary 45 minutes late, it was a small gathering of 5 adults and 2 kids. Perfect! More adults started to arrive, each couple bringing atleast a 12 pack of beer with them. Please note I said "couple" and "beer" not "moms" and "kids". They ALLLLLL left their kids home. I secretly started to hate each of them. At around 7, the birthday parents put their 15 month old to bed, and the other couple who had brought their son got "tired" and departed. It was down to my 2 kids. Amazingly throughout the 2 hours we had been there, my kids didn't make a peep. The 10 month old was quite a social crawler..making his way around the patio, picking up the occasional dropped chip and stopping to splash in the water table. My 6 year old had taken to creating a chalk art masterpiece and leisurely sipping virgin sangria quietly. I could not have asked for better behaved kids. Yet- why did I feel the "Are you going to take those kids home" eyes on me? Maybe it was my imagination but...I instantly felt out of place and like the "Children welcome" had expired- simply due to the fact that noone else brought theirs. Like Carrie Bradshaw was "Shoe shamed" for having expensive shoes at a party...I was "Kid shamed". The party hosts were gracious...it was the rest of the guests that I think were relieved when I quietly rounded them up and brought them home. Arriving home at like- 8, was NOT what I envisioned. *Sigh...

Any of you ever have this happen? What did you do?

Just Say No

Never again. I'm not doing it. No. I will refuse to be room mom ever again. Someone shoot me if I ever do it. Although, I somewhat remember thinking this exact same thing before.

Here I am covered in class frames, year books, and teacher gift cards...literally. I'm not kidding.

I'm trying to throw together this and that. I need to ask for some donations without asking for too much as per the demands of the PTA. Who are those people anyway? I want to throw a nice end of year party but don't want to over do it. I'm worried if I should pre-paint the frames or not before letting the kids glue sequins all over them. Seriously? No. No more. Why am I worried about this? Do I even remember my 1st grade class party? Did we even have class parties back then? Did we even have room moms? What's the purpose of a room mom?

Why is the end of the year so hectic? It's like some big hurdle that you have to jump over before you get to lay around and be lazy. I can't wait for that first week of summer. But only the first week. By the end of the summer I'll be so ready for school I'll probably volunteer to be room mom!

The checklist

If stroller shopping excites you more than a night out- You might be a Stay at Home Mom.

If you own makeup older than your first born- You might be a Stay at Home Mom.

If you blow the dust off your FAVORITE heels so your daughter can play dress up- You might be a Stay at Home Mom.

If shopping at NY&Co makes you angry due to their limited Terry Cloth selection- You might be a Stay at Home mom.

If you own Fit Flops in every color choice- You might be a Stay at Home mom.

If you go in to Starbucks just because it gives you something to do-You might be a Stay at Home mom.

If you can tell where your child is in the house, based solely upon the sound of the toys they are playing with- You might be a Stay at home mom.

If the photos you have uploaded to FB contain nothing but your children and or the messes they've created in the last week- You might be a Stay at home mom.

If you walk around the house wracking your brain for things to blog about besides your children- You are DEFINITELY a Stay at Home Mom!!

Do you have any others???