Nanny Deprived

5 Ways to Be a Fun Mom

2011-09-24T15:10:00.000-04:00

5 Ways to Be a Fun Mom

5 Ways to Be a Fun Mom

By Lynn Powers

A couple years ago, my daughter told me I wasn't a "fun mom." Granted, the comment came when I was busy with something and it wasn't possible for me to drop what I was doing and play with her. But I'll admit, the comment still stung.

Of course, because I work at home, there will certainly be times when I have to say no. There is work that needs to be done and my kids need to learn that the world doesn't completely revolve around them. But, are there times when I am so consumed with my work that "no" becomes an automatic response to my kids' pleas to play? Do I need to lighten up? Have I forgotten how to become a fun mom?

As any work-at-home mom knows, balancing work and motherhood is not easy! But, at the end of the day, would I rather say I got each of the twelve things done on my to-do list? Or that I took some time to pay attention to the needs of my child?

Here are five ways you can get your work done and still be considered a "fun mom."

1. Take a Time Out. When your child is pleading with you to play with her, take a moment to consider whether she may be desperate for time with you. A child can only go so long without some quality time with her mom. Take a half an hour break to spend playing a game, drawing a picture, or taking a walk around the block.

2. Set the timer. Tell your child you will set the timer for one hour. When the timer goes off, it will be time to play. You will then set the timer for twenty minutes and play whatever it is he wants to play, whether it's matchbox cars, a board game, or silly dancing to a favorite CD. Do that a couple of times throughout the day. And stay true to your word - when you hear that "ding," drop what you're doing. Let him know he's the priority.

3. Make lunch time a fun time. Use the hour to involve your child in making sandwiches and setting the table. Leave the paperwork in the office and focus on your child. Ask her questions about things she enjoys - like what she's named her latest WebKinz or what happened on her favorite television show this morning.

4. Put him to work! We're not talking child labor, here. But, if possible, involve your child in your work. Of course, the work needs to be age-appropriate. A three-year old can put paper in the recycling bin. A five year old is able to stamp envelopes. A ten year old can do some filing. You may get more work done this way, or less, but involving your child will be priceless.

5. LAUGH! Take a moment to tell your daughter a silly joke. Relive a funny moment from the past. Have a five minute "tickling spree." If hearing your child's laughter doesn't get you started, nothing will. Besides the "fun" factor, laughing reduces stress and ups the immune system - an added benefit for you both!

Working at home and being a fun mom can go hand-in-hand. It's all about balance. But when you find the scale tipping a little too far on the work side, your child may just remind you that it's time to step away for a moment or two. And don't forget to grab that FUN hat on your way out of the office door.

Visit WahmZone, the ultimate community for the Wahm and all Work At Home Moms. Visit our Wahm Forum as well.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lynn_Powers

http://EzineArticles.com/?5-Ways-to-Be-a-Fun-Mom&id=971112

Back to School Shopping and Savings!

2011-08-23T23:31:00.012-04:00

Well it is official school has already begun or will begin here shortly for most of you. If you are not already ready for the first day then we have the best sale ever to pick up a few more items to make that first day even more exciting.

Save $5.00 off your order when you shop our Back to School category and when you purchase a Reusable Lunch Sack. Then the best part is, FREE SHIPPING when you use this coupon. The shipping will automatically be taken off at checkout. So let me show you a few items you are going to want to have!

The first day is going to be full of information and papers for your little one. Get her a Dots Pink Backpack to help her bring all that info home to you (then it will not be scattered all over the bus).

Now for boys, they might not like the pink polka dots but her is sure to love the Propeller Backpack.

Whether it be for a boy or a girl showing your graduating class is super cool! The Personalized Class of Shirt has tons of options to make it perfect for your son or daughter or to make the perfect gift!

So shop away, make this school year simply fabulous!

Coloring App Review

2011-01-10T20:26:00.011-05:00

As you can probably tell from my previous post, I love iphone and ipad apps to keep my kids busy and focused when it's important.

I need to share a really great app with you! The iCrayonMaker app for the ipad (also available for the iphone) is phenomenal. My 7 year old, 5 year old, and 2 year old all loved it equally and for different reasons. One app that pleases all of my kids is hard to find!

This app allows you to take boring old virtual crayons and mix them to create you own color. Once you've created the perfect color, it's magically turned into a crayon which you can use to color with in another screen.

My 2 year old loved physically swirling the colors together and watching the shade change. The more you mix with your finger, the more they change. My 5 year old loved testing out his knowledge of what colors you can mix together to make other colors. My 7 year old loved taking the crayon she created and drawing a picture with it. She especially loved the fact that you can turn your color into glitter! Awesome.

My favorite thing about this app, besides the fact that it gave me at least 20minutes to fold a load of laundry, was the paper texture on the coloring screen. It's textured almost like construction paper to make you really feel like you are coloring with crayons. I'll admit it, I got a little carried away creating my own shades of crayons and making a unique rainbow picture. :)

Another great thing about this app is that it's created by a mom. She has agreed to give away 5 free apps (either for the iphone or ipad) to our readers. All you have to do is take a peek at the app here: http://www.freemyappsnow.com/iCrayonMaker.html and tell use what you think you'll like about it. You can also friend her app at the facebook page (of follow her on twitter here: @freemyappsnow. Please tell her we sent you!

After you check out the link, comment and let us know what you like about it. Make sure we have access to your email so we can notify you if you win. We'll choose 5 lucky winners and award them a super special code to input on their device to get the app for free. Too cool!

Our contest will go until Jan 21st. Good luck and tell your friends!

Will Work 4 Apps

2011-01-06T20:30:00.007-05:00

Can you put a price on your sanity? No?

A little bit of quiet and calmness sounds like heaven to me. Lately, I've been finding solace in apps. Whenever my toddler gets a little crazy, I start frantically flipping through the app store on my iphone or ipad to find something that will hold her attention and let her focus on.

Being able to finish a meal in an actual sit-down restaurant has finally become reality thanks to the little piece of heaven I like to call the iphone. Waiting at the Dr.s office for once didn't cause me to hyper-ventilate because the two year old had Elmo singing along with her. Once again, thank you Elmo.

Bliss. All for the price of $2.99.

Let's look at the other end of the spectrum. My 7 year old daughter will not clean up her room for anything. I've threatened, taken away prized items, promised trinkets, and done a whole reward system. Nothing has worked. She's now kept her room clean for a complete week thanks to the new Spongebob Marbles and Slide app. I can't complain. It cost less than what I was paying her to do it with an allowance.

Even better are the free versions of the games. It's nice to be able to play and get completely addicted to a game before spending the money on it i.e. Angry Birds.

The fact that my kids are learning and using some logic and reasoning to play some of the apps is a bonus. My two year old has learned most of her letters from an app and is constantly coloring and drawing. My 5 year old son has been working so hard trying to figure out Spongebob Marbles and Slides. When he beats a level, he's so excited and proud. My 7 year old has been working on flash cards to learn math facts. There's just nothing wrong with that!

Resolutions, Schmezolutions...

2010-12-30T15:02:00.004-05:00

Happy Holidays Nanny Deprived Mama's!!!
We trust that the season, shopping, weather, wrapping, families, wine, Santa photos, greeeting cards, wine, cleaning, baking and wine has you completely frazzed and secretly thankful its over...atleast til it sneaks around again in 10 more months.
This year has seemed to me like a holding pattern...like I've just been bumming around here waiting for something fabulous and maybe- JUST MAYBE 2011 has what I've been waiting for. Its kind of inspiring me to be a better me, a better mama and just--do things better. What sort of resolutions do you make (and break?) each year or are you just DYING to resolve to do something and actually MAKE IT HAPPEN?
This year I am going to do the following:
I WILL have a date night- even if its just a movie night at home- with my DH every other week.
I WILL clean my blinds regularly.
I WILL start cooking with low-fat items and maybe even less butter...but that I can't promise without very gradual decline over time.
I WILL get the kids rooms painted and decorated before Feb 1st (its only been 6 months since we moved in...)
I WILL keep my bedroom toy and child free so we can have an "adult only" space. *Middle of the night bad dreams do not apply.
I WILL continue to whack at my credit card debt and pay everything with debit. If thats not possible then I don't need it.

How about you ladies? What will you absolutely positively do better this year?

-Candy

I Caught Santa

2010-12-12T20:18:00.012-05:00

I'm a bit teary eyed at the idea of this being the last Christmas my kids may believe in Santa. I will never ever tell my kids that there is no such thing as Santa because I really believe that the magic of the holidays is in fact, the true Santa.

I am so extremely careful when preparing my Christmas. I keep all of the Santa gifts hidden in a separate place, I use different wrapping paper for Santa gifts and I never write on the packages because I don't want them to wonder why my hand writing is the same as Santa's. I just don't want to be the one to ruin it for them.

I've found a wonderful website that makes it all a little more magical. Please take a peek at www.icaughtsanta.com. This website allows you to impose a posing Santa anywhere in your house, even your fireplace. Imagine telling your kids that you are going to prove to them there is a Santa and capture this picture to show them Christmas morning.

The fun folks at www.icaughtsanta.com are going to give us some free codes to use for a free photo of your own.

In order to win one of the codes simply go to their site and take a peek at the different Santa poses you can use in your own photo and tell us which one you like the best or which one you would use. Then comment with your email address. We'll pick a few lucky winners on Sat the 18th and email them their code to make their own Santa photo.

Not feeling lucky? Or maybe you just want to start right now. Use this code for 25% off the purchase price of a photo - NANNY-DEPRIVED

Freeloading Babies

2010-11-23T14:36:00.006-05:00

I think it's time I start charging rent to all the freeloading babies around my house. Everywhere I step, I find another one. I could make some serious money.

I guess that's what you get with a two year old in your house!

Cyber Monday Deals - Boutiques!

2010-11-15T12:10:00.003-05:00

Cyber Monday 2010 Deals

Below is a list of Special deals being offered by online boutiques on Black Friday and Cyber Monday. So make sure to visit them to save big on great products for the holidays!

Gifts for Baby and Kids

Little Fox Fashions: Designer Kids Shoes, Kids Winter Boots, Hair Bows and More!

Deal: 20% discount on all sales.

Coupon Code: CYBER20

http://www.littlefoxfashions.com

Fleur Lilly: Girls Holiday Dresses, Girls Boutique Clothing and more.

Deal: Girl's Fall Clothing & Holiday Dresses 35%-75% off
Plus, we always have a continual sale of Girl's Designer Clothing Clearance Sale - $20 and below, new items added to this sale daily.
plus flat rate shipping $5.00 for Cyber sale Day

http://www.fleurlilly.com

Daisy and Beibei: Awesome Online Children's Boutique with fashion for boys and girls.

Deal: 20% Off Everything in Store on Cyber Monday

Coupon Code: daisy

http://www.daisyandbeibei.com/

Micah Co: Wonderful Newborn Baby Gifts, Gifts for New Moms and more.

Visit store for sale information on Cyber Monday.

http://www.micahco.com

Patticake Posh: Shop our Children's Boutique for personalized gifts, birthday gifts and more.

Deal: 20% off entire store.

Coupon Code: blkfriday

Expiration: Black Friday Only

http://www.patticakeposh.com

EliseWear: Save on our unique baby gifts, layette with matching hat, posh diaper bags and more.

Deal: diaper bags 30% off (not including current season Storksak ) http://www.elisewear.com/category_23/Diaper-Bags.htm

Coupon Code: code elise30

Deal: all apparel 25 % off http://www.elisewear.com/category_34/Infant- Layettes.htm

Coupon Code: elise 25

http://www.elisewear.com

My Beautiful Sophia: Girls Boutique that offers popular name clothing for girls and boys.

Visit store for sale information on Cyber Monday.

http://www.mybeautifulsophia.com

Big Top Baby Shop : Visit our Childrens Boutique for european children's clothing, designer newborn clothing and more.

Visit store for sale information on Cyber Monday.

http://www.bigtopbabyshop.com

Shop Sugar Babies: Baby Boutique with punk apparel for babies, toddlers and big kids.

Visit store for sale information on Cyber Monday.

http://www.shopsugarbabies.com

Gagagougou: Terrific Baby Boutique in Canada. Caters to moms and babies.

Deal: 10% off on top of our Holiday Sale.

Coupon Code: MYSEOGAL2010PROMO

Expiration: December 15,2010

http://gagagougou.com

My Tutu Boutique: Trendy tutu boutique, birthday tutus, holiday pettiskirts and more.

Deal: $5 off any tutu order $10 off any tutu dress

Coupon Code: blacktutu

http://www.mytutuboutique.com

Kids T Shirts Rock: Personalized Kids Shirts, Kids Holiday Shirts, Birthday shirts and more.

Deal: 20% all orders on Cyber Monday
Coupon Code: "CYBER" @ checkout

Expires Dec 31, 2010

http://www.kidstshirtsrock.com

This Little Piglet: Unique Baby Products

Deal: 25% off the entire store, FREE shipping over $100

Expiration Date: 11:59 CST on the day of the Cyber Monday sale,

http://www.thislilpiglet.com

My Bonita Boutique: Handmade Girls Clothing Boutique

Deal:35% the entire order

Coupon Code: Cyber35

http://www.mybonitaboutique.com

Baby Birthday Boutique: Birthday Outfits

Deal: free shipping with code

Coupon Code: "CYBER"

http://www.babybirthdayboutique.com

I am Princess: Princess Boutique

Deal: 15% off everything- sale items and non sale items

http://iamtheprincess.com/?code=seogncyber

Heavenly Hold: Designer Baby carriers, nursing pads and more:

Deal: 10% off

Coupon Code : luv2babywear

Expiration Date: 12/31/*2010

http://www.heavenlyhold.com

MarieLynn Boutique: Upscale Children's Boutique

Deal: 15% Off Of All Purchases
Coupon Code: HOLIDAY

Expiration: 12/31/10

http://www.marielynnboutique.com

Poppy Clementine: Children's designer clothing

25% off of any NON-SALE and NON-PERSONALIZED items

Code: MONDAY25

Valid 11/29 – 12/6

https://poppyclementine.com/

Milos Creations: Adorable kids costumes and adult costumes.

Deal: free shipping for the whole weekend of black friday to cyber monday, plus additional 15% off.

Coupon Code: CyberMonday10 at checkout

http://www.miloscreations.com

Imagination Fuel: Kids wooden toys, educational toys, classic toys

Deal: Free Shipping

Coupon Code: CYBER

http://imaginationfuel.com

Snooty Booty Diapers: Cloth Diapers
Deal: Free shipping on any order, plus a $5 gift certificate for each $50 spent. These offers will be in addition to any product markdowns in

the store.

Coupon Code: Use Code: cmonday

http://www.snootybootydiapers.com/store/WsPCollectionsDet.asp?ID=35&pID=9

Clothing, Hand Bags and Accessories for Men or Women

Fashion Amour: Buy women's fashions, wholesale sunglasses, silk wrap skirts, and more.

Visit store for sale information on Cyber Monday.

http://www.fashionamour.com.au

QT Sunglasses: Designer Inspired Sunglasses:

Deal: 25% OFF orders over $14.95

Coupon Code : CyberMonday2010

Expiration Date: Midnight

http://www.qtsunglasses.net

Gifts

Art By Beckie Ann: Kids Wall Art, Baby Nursery Wall décor, Art for girls and boys.

Deal: 3 day sale Mon 29th, Tues 30th and Weds Dec 1st

Coupon Code: Cyber20

http://www.artbybeckieann.com

Nanny Deprived: Gifts for Moms

Deal: Free Shipping

Coupon Code: "CYBER"

http://www.nannydeprived.

Label Creations: Personalized Address Labels, Luggage Tags, and more.

Deal: 15% off plus free shipping in the uSA

Coupon Code - HOL2006

Expiration Date: December 31, 2010

http://www.labelcreations.com

Jewelry

Simply Trendy Jewelry: Wholesale Designer Inspired Jewelry, Trendy bracelets, necklaces, rings and more.

Deal: Take 15% off total purchase of $25 or more

Coupon Code: use coupon code (cyber)

Expiration: offer expires December 5, 2010

http://www.simplytrendyjewelry.com

Stranded Treasures: Flowers for Hair, Floral necklaces, earrings and more for special occasions.

Deal: We are having a sale on select items. No coupon needed. Just visit our website to start saving.

Expiration: 11/30/2010

http://strandedtreasures.com

TLC Silver Jewelry: Wholesale Bead Jewelry, Handmade Beaded Jewelry and more

Deal: 30% Off

Coupon Code: CyberMonday30

Expiration Date: 11-30-10

http://www.tlcsilverjewelry.com

Charmies Online: Hand Stamped Jewelry

Deal: Save 10% off your order.

Coupon Code: Circler10

Http://www.charmiesonline.com

TLC New & Vintage Jewelry Holders

Deal: 30% Off

Coupon Code: CyberMonday30

Expiration Date: 11-30-10

http://www.jewelryboxringholders.com

Joyful Heart: Stunning Fashion Jewelry

Deal: Two day event (11/29 - 11/30)... Purchase $60.00 or more from Joyful Heart

Boutique's jewelry catalog and receive 30% off plus free shipping.

http://www.joyfulheartboutique.com

Photo and Greeting Cards

Simply Stated Creative

Deal: 40% off all Custom Photo Cards, including last minute Holiday Cards

Coupon Code: CYBERMONDAY10

Expiration: Valid only on Cyber Monday, November 29, 2010

http://www.simplystatedcreative.com

Bunny Prints: Personalized Photo Cards for Birthday and Baby Shower plus matching birthday clothing, personalized candy jar favors and more

Deal: 10% off everything

Coupon Code: cyber10

http://www.bunnyprints.com

Photo Card Boutique: Photo Card Templates

Deal: 35% off your entire order

Coupon Code : cyber-monday

Expiration Date: Good Monday only

http://www.photocardboutique.com

Lil Sweet Prince: Trendy birth announcements, first birthday invitations, wedding announcements and more.

Deal: Expedited shipping on all orders placed that day. All standard shipping orders will automatically be upgraded to 2 day shipping. No coupon code needed.

Expiration: From the 24-30th of November

http://www.lilsweetprince.com

Fun and Sassy Designs: Photo Birth Announcements, Personalized Kids Cards and more.

Deal: 15% OFF + Free Shipping on ALL product

Coupon Code: Thanks

Expiration: Thursday, November 25th - Monday, November 29th

http://www.funandsassydesigns.com

Little Ladybug Designs: Modern Photo Cards and Holiday Cards

Deal: 25% off from Thursday Nov 25-Nov 27

Coupon Code: Use Code: thanks25 at checkout

http://www.littleladybugdesigns.com

Photo Card Designs: Photo Cards for Weddings, Birthdays , Baby Showers and more.

Deal: Good for one day only- 5% off .

Coupon Code: Please Use Code: cybermonday

http://photocarddesigns.com

Janay Green: Blank Greeting Cards, Personalized Gifts and More.

Deal: 40% off any purchase of $30 or more

Coupon Code: CYBERMONDAY10

http://www.janaygreen.com

Pet Products

Dog Boutique: Buy luxury dog collars, high end dog carriers and a Christmas costume or two for your dog.

Deal: Free Shipping for US buyers all day long.

http://badasspetz.com

Paw Prints Shop Pet Boutique: Trendy pet boutique with hundreds of pet beds, dog clothing, collars and more.

Deal: 10% off your order

Coupon Code: cybermonday

http://www.pawprintsshop.com

Organic Products:

Milf Cosmetics: Spa Products and Chirally Correct Skin Care Products.

Deal: 20% off all products

Coupon Code: CYBERMILF

Expiration: Midnight 11/30 (sale runs through 12:01AM 11/29 till midnight 11/30)

http://www.milfcosmetics.com

Baby U R Precious : Organic Baby Gifts

Deal: 20% off entire order

Coupon code: BURPoct

http://www.babyurprecious.com

Tidbit Couture: Organic cloth diapers and Baby products.

Deal: $5 off purchases of $50 or more ~ plus free shipping!

Coupon Code: CyberMonday10

http://www.tidbit-couture.com

Home and Garden

Harvest Glow Candles: Natural Soy Candles, Wholesale Soy Candles and more.

Deal: 30% Off Cyber Monday Nov. 29^th Special!

Coupon Code: Use Coupon Code cyber30 in the voucher field

Expiration: 11:59pm Nov. 29^th

http://www.harvestglowcandles.com

CT River Candles: Scented Soy Candles and more.

Deal: 10% off total purchase of $16.95 or more.

Coupon Code: Found at website

http://www.ctrivercandles.com

Ferris Wheel: Trendy heat and cold packs for pain.

Deal: We are running a sale on our Christmas Special Set right now that includes Hot/Cold Neck Wrap, 8 x 10 pack and footwarmers.

Expiration: December 25,2010

http://www.etsy.com/shop/theferriswheels

Hair Accessories

Stranded Treasures: Flowers For Hair, flower jewelry and more.

Visit Site on Cyber Monday to see sales.
http://www.strandedtreasures.com

Wedding:

Lifes Little Favors: Buy unique wedding favors, monogrammed aisle runners and more for your wedding.

Deal: 10% Off Your Entire Order!

Coupon Code: SAVETEN

Expiration: 11/30/10

http://www.lifeslittlefavors.com

Free T Shirt!! Who Wants it?

2010-11-10T14:15:00.002-05:00

We are running a fun contest at our facebook page. Simply fan us and then tag www.nannydeprived.com in a post from your wall and you'll be eligable to win a free personalized tee. We'll be selecting a winner on Friday from those that show up on our wall.

Now, for those of you who are Facebook challenged, I know who you are (mom). In order to tag a person or business page you simply use the "@" button and then start typing the name of the person or business. Our facebook page is under www.nannydeprived.com. When you start typing that, it should pop up. Select it and write a fun little post. Then set the lock icon to "everyone" so it will show up for all to see on our wall.

If you still need help, refer to the discussion tab on our page for more hints and the official rules. One tag per day please!

Thanks and happy tagging.

Happy Birthday and a New Addition!

2010-11-01T10:14:00.003-04:00

Three years ago I remember tucking my kids into bed while all sugared up after trick or treating. I ran down to the computer to finish up my last touches on my first website "Nanny Deprived". I was so excited. My little world of Nanny Deprived is happily three years old today and it's been so fun and amazing.

I have learned SO much it's unbelievable. My husband is amazed at all of the information I now know from owning my own online business. I started out by buying "Online Business for Dummies" and now I do some consulting for new business owners and online retailers.

Last night was just like three years ago. I tucked my kids (now there is one more) into bed and came downstairs to do a little more work on my newest website which launches today. Please take a peek at my new baby: http://imaginationfuel.com. We will be selling kids wooden toys, magnetic toys and oh so much more!

Thanks to all of my awesome customers, nanny deprived moms, and the friends I've met on this amazing journey into the depths of online retail!

E Day

2010-10-28T13:18:00.002-04:00

It was 8:50 am on Wednesday morning. I started unpacking my son's backpack from the day before because that's how I roll. I try to look like I have had it packed up and ready for him to go for days but little do his teachers know, I do it five minutes before he goes to school. Haha.

That's when I spotted the note. "Tomorrow is E day. Please bring in something that starts with the letter E". Damn.

I started yelling for my son to go get elastic man.

"Find him! Look under your bed."

I knew we needed to get in the car because it takes us at least 10minutes to get everyone buckled and for me to run back into the house at least 5 times for stuff.

He came down very upset that he couldn't find Elastic Man. The light bulb turned on in my head. I have an envelope!

"Jake, envelopes are cool. All the cool kids like envelopes!"

The tears started to well up in his eyes and the pouty lip came out. Double damn.

"All it does is open and close. The kids will laugh at me!" He said with that giant lip.

I drove my crying pouting little boy to school with an envelope in his book bag and not Elastic Man. Epic mom fail.

Man I love STUFF

2010-10-19T01:43:00.003-04:00

Hi!

So, crazy doesn't even begin to describe life on the West Coast nowadays. Amanda and I were finally reunited and wreaked some serious havoc on Sin City at the ABC Expo! Perhaps I should clarify- we wreaked havoc on our wallets and livers mainly but still-- it was one heck of a great time! Perhaps there's a reason we work on opposite coasts- because if we were in the same office constantly we might never get anything accomplished.

Regardless, we have had a product review blog for a little while and haven't really LAUNCHED it but- with allll the great products we found at the show.. its time for a "what do we think and why you need this item" blog. Therefore- announcing Nanny Deprived Reviews!!!!!!

(Yayyy!!! *clap clap clap-- wooooohoooo!!!!)

We, as moms with little time and even little-er room for error have decided to test products on ourselves (and our kids!) so you don't have to.

Stay tuned for more cool stuff that you just might need to have!!!

Nanny Deprived Recipe

2010-09-30T19:36:00.003-04:00

Every once in awhile I start to feel guilty about how much processed food and fast food we eat. And so it's out of guilt I decide to cook. I hate cooking. I'd rather beat my head off of the counter than cook dinner but the idea that my kids will get scurvy eventually makes me suck it up and cook.

This is my go to recipe. Notice it only has 4 ingredients! My kind of meal!

One turkey breast frozen
One packet of onion soup mix
One cup orange juice
One can of whole berry cranberries

Throw all of these things in a crock pot and let it cook for 6 hours. I normally make some mashed potatoes and serve the turkey and the gravy in the croc pot all together. Even my picky eaters love this dinner!

Cloud, cloud, go away

2010-09-24T01:25:00.002-04:00

There is a little, black, rain cloud looming over my household lately. And when I say "little and black" I really mean a MASSIVE MIDNIGHT BLACK THUNDERHEAD.

In the past week, I have discovered I have a hernia, had my child knock out one of my teeth and had my husband wreck my brand spankin' new minivan.

Yes, kids...I am officially a country song.

The week started out innocently enough, if you call excruciating

stomach pain "innocent". I decide to make a Dr. appointment and diagnosis: hernia. Schedule abdominal scan for next day.

That evening, put toddler on bouncy Zebra thingy- he stands up and his little hard head whacks me straight in the jaw....Good-bye veneer/bonding. Hello Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel.

Make dental appointment the next day for fixing. Also, make mental note to not smile at anyone not immediately related to me. I also consider getting hard headed toddler a helmet.

Next day: Kiss husband and kids goodbye as I leave for Dr's and they leave for school drop-off. I decide I'll let him be "the cool dad in the red Swagger Wagon" (*Giggle) and I take his car to my doctor appointments. Not my best move- I think karma knew I was singing "Being Mr. Mom" in my head as he drove away.

15 minutes into the drive I get the call noone wants...the "We've been in an accident" call.

Luckily, thank the Heavens, my husband and kids are just fine- not a scratch. My pretty new van? Noooooooooooooooo....front end smashed, 4 broken doors, 2 deployed airbags and a partridge in a pear tre

e. I don't think I am going to see her again for about a month...if at all. Turns out, not many people have trashed their 2011 cars yet so, the body shop is having a heck of a time estimating how they are going to repair it. Greeeaaat.

Needless to say, I called and cancelled both dental appointment and abdominal scan. Funny how a mother no longer hurts, or cares about their whacked out smile when their babies safety is compromised. I'd really like the black cloud to go away though...the rain is getting a little old.

Growth Spurts

2010-09-20T15:47:00.004-04:00

When I was young (er) *because I like pretending I'm still young..even though I have yogurt in my hair.

Anyways- when I was young, my mom (when she could stand the mess in my bedroom) would make me have a "fashion show" and see what clothes were too small, too ugly, etc and pass them on to my poor younger sister. This always annoyed the living hell out of me as- who really wants to try on every item in their closet and either beg for its redemption or pretend you're faaaar too tall for those ugly purple pants Aunt Rita gave you. I think its the only time in my memory when I wanted to go to bed- just so my mom would give it a rest.

Standing firm with my "I will never do that to MY kids" mantra-- I decided that the shoes and clothing that fit last school year would magically have to fit this year. Wrong. Dead wrong.

Apparently, in the 3 months since school has let out- my kids have each grown 10 feet and 200 pounds.

Or so it seems to me.

Perhaps my mother had a point...a very poorly executed point but- a point nontheless.

I decided to put my daughter through her own "fashion show of torture" where 12 pairs of pants, 4 pair of shorts and 23 shirts ended up in the "too small" box. I looked at that box and felt kind of ill. All the money I spend on that Gym company and that Place company's clothes...all in a box. Never to be used again in this household because- I don't feel like placing my son in therapy for wearing girls clothing or saddling a far younger, potential future sibling with "old" clothing. Do you ever have that "I am making their clothes from burlap sacks from here on out" feeling? With my luck, burlap is expensive and my family would never go through enough potatoes to make that theory cost effective...

The baby, poor baby...who is starting to walk has had his poor little feet smashed into wrong sized shoes all summer long. I took him into Stride Rite in size 3's (thinking they went on easily enough) and came out with 5.5 wides. *Sigh. The saleswoman looked at me like "How did you get these on his feet? With a crowbar?"

I should have looked her straight in the eye and said "No crowbar- Crisco."

I want a medal.

2010-09-09T02:38:00.002-04:00

So, I normally refrain from writing about my kids because really...who wants to hear stories about other people's kids when you have kids of your own?
Well, this story is mainly about me, those kids things are merely an accessory to the story.

So- I'm being a good mom and giving my kids a bath like all good moms do, right?
I decide to bathe them in my master bath tub...MY master bath tub...the one with the fun jets and bubble products, etc.
Big Mistake.
HUGE.
My son decides to grab one of my limited edition candles that...its so limited edition..I haven't even burned it yet and decides to start filling it with bath water and drinking it. Weird..I know.

Next, he decides to stand up by the faucet and pee on both myself and his sister...to our mutual EWWWWW.
I start explaining to the 13 month old that "it is not appropriate to pee in the bath, buddy...etc etc."
What does my daughter say?
"Oh, I did that right after we got in."

OMG.
Bleach me. Or give me a medal for not running away from these germy little beings whilst I am trying to rid them of the days germs.
Needless to say, I don't bathe with the kids anymore.

-Candy

Mom Knowledge

2010-09-02T00:59:00.005-04:00

So, we had a darn fine idea the other day (and when I say "we" I mean, "Amanda"..God, I feel like her husband now saying that) Mom-Sense. When she told me about it- I thought it was amazingly brilliant because let's face it- we mom's know more random crap about random crap than any other species on the planet. Really...who knows which Barbie the sparkly pink boots go to and who the blue pumps belong to? Mom does.
As a reward for all this useless knowledge you carry around in your already full brain we (*she) has decided to have a contest on our Facebook page every Thursday night at 10 pm, EST. So, being on the west coast...I will have to log in promptly at 7 to check on you fine ladies and see who we can stump with random questions. *remembering to add that as a recurring event to my blackberry...you should too! If you are proven the most knowledgable mama of the night- you will win some fabulous prizes. If you aren't our Facebook friend then-- Why not?? Go friend us!!!

The following is the fine print:
We will ask 3 questions each Thursday night at 10 pm EST (10:02 if the kids are bugging us)
The first person to answer the question correctly will win the prize listed in that post. No swapping prizes.
The winner has 24 hours to email us at nannydeprived at gmail dot com with their US mailing address as well as any size choices. (Yes- the prizes are THAT good!)

As soon as we receive the address, we will mail your prize right off to you! If the winner does not respond within the 24 hours- we reserve the right to offer the prize again next week to another winner.

We realize that some questions may have more than one answer...we reserve the right to choose the answer that is most correct. Kind of like the SAT's you took in High School but- way cooler. We have tried really hard to make sure they are clear cut answers but...you know...stuff happens even when you're trying hard for it not to.
If two people happen to answer correctly with the exact same timestamp in Facebook- we will offer a "tie breaker" question.

Ok, thats all. Hope you're all ridiculously excited. I know I am...even though I can't win because I came up with some questions. Dang you red tape!! Log onto Facebook tomorrow night!!!

Candy :)

Hell Month

2010-08-24T08:48:00.004-04:00

There is a month delay between public elementary school starting and the beginning of preschool which has caused havoc in my house.

The kid that really wants to go to school hasn't started yet and the one who is "forced" to go to school has already begun. This has caused a lot of "It's not fair" wars between the siblings, and, not to mention, a lot of headaches for me.

"It's not fair. Why doesn't he have to go to school?" My daughter says.

Ten minutes later...

"It's not fair. Why does she get to go to school?" My son says.

My reply? "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Somebody start the dang school already!"

Where Have I Been?

2010-08-17T21:23:00.002-04:00

My blog has been nagging me to write in it.

Its a tiny little voice in the back of the head saying, "Ha ha,that's funny. You should BLOG about that". The voice tracks my progress. "It's been 3 weeks and 4 days since you wrote in me". It's nagging, whining, and controlling. I feel guilty when I neglect it. When I sit down to watch tv, it says, "You should spend this time blogging".

All in all, it's my fourth child. Needy, wanting attention and love.

Musings on a third child...

2010-08-04T21:58:00.003-04:00

So, I've been thinking alot about the whole third child thing, and whether or not its a good idea. Those of you who had one of each (boy and girl) and then decided to have a third- I'd be interested to know what your motivation behind having your third one was (besides OOPS!!! A little too much vino?)

If you've been reading us, then you may recall that I have a 6 (soon to be 7) y/o daughter and a newly one year old son. I enjoy them both and we have a really nice balance. I'm wondering how hard throwing a third child into the mix would be. Whenever I voice this to friends I get the same "well- she will be big enough to help!". No..that's not her job. While I do appreciate the occasional diape

r fetching or bottle finding- raising younger siblings is not in her job description. We aren't the Duggar family where the older girls are required to raise the little ones. My daughter also claims that "if she gets a sister" she wants to share a bedroom with her. Now, we have 5 bedrooms so technically, all 3 of them could have their own rooms. The "sharing" thing may be cool for now but- is 13 year old her going to pitch a fit about her 6 year old "baby sister" messing with

her Teen Beat magazines? There's just soo many questions. I wish I had a crystal ball. Did I mention I'm already pregnant and don't have much of a choice about all this? :)

The Lost Nap

2010-07-28T20:54:00.002-04:00

Where oh where did my daughter's nap go? Oh where oh where did it go?

It only took having three kids to finally have a good sleeper. My youngest is a great sleeper and napper. You basically throw her in her crib and walk out and she just goes to sleep. It's great and every time I close that door, I am so thankful that it's that easy. I've been on the other side of that situation with my other two children. I remember the crying, screaming, sitting in the room waiting for them to fall asleep.

Yesterday, not so much. I threw her in her crib and the crying started. I freaked. I had flashbacks of my other two kids and almost curled up into the fetal postition and rocked myself back and forth from the memories.

After a few minutes I decided to get her, knowing this wasn't like her. I brought her downstairs and we played some more. If you can call throwing couch pillows at her older brother playing, then yeah, we played. We played real good.

I tried again about an hour later. No luck. I finally decided that if she wasn't going to nap, I would teach her by making her so tired she would fall asleep anywhere. Off to the pool we went. Three hours later we returned home. She was still wide awake and in a good mood.

Now I'm terrified. Does this mean the beginning of the end? All good things must come to an end, but her naps? Really? She's not even two. Someone tell me it was just a jinx, a fluke, and she's not giving up naps for good. Please. Anyone?

In search of the perfect purse

2010-06-15T02:31:00.003-04:00

I LOVE purses. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. purses.

Especially shiny new Coach ones.

To me, there's just a special kind of happy, loving adoration for a great bag. I mean, I'm not a supermodel, I'm rockin' the "mommy pooch" thing and occasionally a muffin top. Heaven knows I have my days where my hair has baby food in it and I don't know what all is smeared into my shirt. But you know one thing the kids don't ruin? My purse. There it sits- on the shelf, perfect and waiting for me to take it somewhere. While we're out and about, I like to think that my purse is a statement to others saying "Underneath alllll this crap is a woman with style- look at this great bag!"

Or at least thats how it goes in my head...

Lately, I've been on a mission...to find a new summer purse. AND I CAN'T.

If you've read this blog before, you're aware that I set on a frivolous, self-imposed mission and I always win. ALWAYS. Not this time. Not yet.

I did find a gorgeous bag thats like, more than I make in 2 months. But I won't do it. I am willing myself to find something else comparable because...I just can't see spending THAT kind of money, on a bag that mainly goes to the grocery store.

The mission continues...

Do you have a love affair with your purses?

An open letter to germs

2010-06-11T01:50:00.002-04:00

Dear Germs,

Please die.

Love,

Candy

My son has had "the runs" for over a week now. The "runs" have turned into a raging diaper rash and then...a fabulous "boy part"infection. We go to the Dr. who gives me 2 creams for aforementioned "boy part" and 6, count them, 6!!!!! vials to collect "samples". From the samples, they can tell which part of his digestive system is ticked off.

So, I return home with my boy part creams and tubes to inform my husband "we rub these on and scoop the poop".

You can't even imagine the chaos.

We didn't want to diaper him, lest the rash continue, yet didn't want to let him smear ointment and desitin all over the house so- I grabbed some of my daughters panties and popped them on him. Yes, we took photos of him crawling around the house in Tinkerbell panties.

Needless to say- puddles started forming around the house. "Don't slip on the pee!" becomes the family motto. Then, it happens....."the specimen" is produced.

Imagine the hilarity of my husband and I using plastic spoons to scoop it up, off the floor, off the underwear and yes....fresh off his butt to place ever so gently into the tube.

REPEAT THAT 6 TIMES.

I've never been so pleased to reach a "fill" line. The fun doesn't stop there...oh no no no...you've got to refrigerate it until morning! YAY!! You can bet your booty I wasn't putting that in my main fridge...so it went outside in the "beer" fridge. Thankfully, we don't have alot of raging alcoholics over because they would have had QUITE the surprise....beer? shot of $hit?

The things we do for our children's health.

P.S. I'd like to give a big shout out to my new HAAN duo Steam Sweeper....without which I might still be wallowing in pee and germs. God Bless invention and QVC.

Let's go get a Vasectomy! Wooooooo!!

2010-06-03T13:20:00.002-04:00

There comes a time when we Mommies will have a decision to make...Do we want another baby or are we "done"? If you want another baby then...my hat is off to you because I am firmly on the fence about the whole thing. I think I may decide by the time all my eggs have shriveled up and will only produce babies who talk like Urkel or will grow up to be something terrible- like a Civil War re-enactor.

Unfortunately, until you're at that point...theres tons and tons of options for us women. IUD, pills, shots, etc... why is there really only one option for men? It amuses me that whenever you say the word "Vasectomy" to a dude...his face scrunches up and he cringes...

What if they made Vasectomy's fun?????? Imagine this...

You walk into a dimly

lit waiting room, filled with comfy leather chairs and dude magazines. The nurses are all hotties clad in "naughty nurse" uniforms as they take your insurance information and tell you "the Dr will be with you soon." Once inside "the room"- its like a guy paradise...nothing sterile white with 42 inch plasma playing sports or whatever they guy chooses. Once the deal is done- they get to pick a prize! Yaaaayyy!! No stickers or lollipops though...like- a round of golf or a coupon for some lovin' once their little surgery is healed.

Sound nice, huh?

Almost makes me want to go to Vasectomy school just so I can learn how and open this gold mine for myself!

I mean really...we pushed those little bugger out or had c-sections....don't they owe this to us?

Horders: For Kids

2010-05-29T07:16:00.005-04:00

I'm pretty sure A&E could have filmed a good episode of Horders at our house while cleaning out my daughter's closet the other day. I finally got so overwhelmed at the fact that I couldn't get in there to hang up clothes that I decided enough was enough.

Armed with garbage bags, boxes, and my 4 year old we went up for an intervention. We barged in on my daughter's "Fortress of Solitude" and as soon as she saw the garbage bags the tears started. I pleaded and begged and tried all of the tactics the way-too-nice and calm therapists on Horders try. Lacking time and patience I started grabbing handfuls of broken crayons, candy wrappers, puzzle pieces, Ponyville fodder, and what not and began throwing it away. Under some of the debris, I'm ashamed to report, I did find several pet shop carcasses who must have been buried alive.

My daughter, seeing the progress eventually got on board. But then the negotiation started on every toy.

Me: "Do you really need this pony? It only has one eye and the hair is all gone from it's head. It's a little scary."

Horder: "Mommy, I like that pony. I NEED that Pony."

Me: "Ok, well what about this old castle? It's seen happier days."

Horder: "Ok, but can I get a new castle?"

My poor 4 year old soon stood there like all of the relatives on Horders. Ashamed, broken and just happy to get handed anything throw away.

Three garbage bags later, we were left with a small pony land, Pet Shop villa and a small zhu zhu pit stop. My daughter will get one toy (with no small pieces) as a reward. Those pet shop who were crushed from the debris have now been brought back to life and have been given a happy home. ;)

Children Welcome! (But not really...)

2010-05-23T15:36:00.003-04:00

A good friend of mine threw a birthday party for her husband last night and the invitation clearly stated "Children welcome!". Not having a babysitter, I cleaned them, dressed them and drug them along with me and my party pitcher of Sangria. When we got there, my customary 45 minutes late, it was a small gathering of 5 adults and 2 kids. Perfect! More adults started to arrive, each couple bringing atleast a 12 pack of beer with them. Please note I said "couple" and "beer" not "moms" and "kids". They ALLLLLL left their kids home. I secretly started to hate each of them. At around 7, the birthday parents put their 15 month old to bed, and the other couple who had brought their son got "tired" and departed. It was down to my 2 kids. Amazingly throughout the 2 hours we had been there, my kids didn't make a peep. The 10 month old was quite a social crawler..making his way around the patio, picking up the occasional dropped chip and stopping to splash in the water table. My 6 year old had taken to creating a chalk art masterpiece and leisurely sipping virgin sangria quietly. I could not have asked for better behaved kids. Yet- why did I feel the "Are you going to take those kids home" eyes on me? Maybe it was my imagination but...I instantly felt out of place and like the "Children welcome" had expired- simply due to the fact that noone else brought theirs. Like Carrie Bradshaw was "Shoe shamed" for having expensive shoes at a party...I was "Kid shamed". The party hosts were gracious...it was the rest of the guests that I think were relieved when I quietly rounded them up and brought them home. Arriving home at like- 8, was NOT what I envisioned. *Sigh...

Any of you ever have this happen? What did you do?

Just Say No

2010-05-20T21:22:00.000-04:00

Never again. I'm not doing it. No. I will refuse to be room mom ever again. Someone shoot me if I ever do it. Although, I somewhat remember thinking this exact same thing before.

Here I am covered in class frames, year books, and teacher gift cards...literally. I'm not kidding.

I'm trying to throw together this and that. I need to ask for some donations without asking for too much as per the demands of the PTA. Who are those people anyway? I want to throw a nice end of year party but don't want to over do it. I'm worried if I should pre-paint the frames or not before letting the kids glue sequins all over them. Seriously? No. No more. Why am I worried about this? Do I even remember my 1st grade class party? Did we even have class parties back then? Did we even have room moms? What's the purpose of a room mom?

Why is the end of the year so hectic? It's like some big hurdle that you have to jump over before you get to lay around and be lazy. I can't wait for that first week of summer. But only the first week. By the end of the summer I'll be so ready for school I'll probably volunteer to be room mom!

The checklist

2010-05-19T12:53:00.003-04:00

If stroller shopping excites you more than a night out- You might be a Stay at Home Mom.

If you own makeup older than your first born- You might be a Stay at Home Mom.

If you blow the dust off your FAVORITE heels so your daughter can play dress up- You might be a Stay at Home Mom.

If shopping at NY&Co makes you angry due to their limited Terry Cloth selection- You might be a Stay at Home mom.

If you own Fit Flops in every color choice- You might be a Stay at Home mom.

If you go in to Starbucks just because it gives you something to do-You might be a Stay at Home mom.

If you can tell where your child is in the house, based solely upon the sound of the toys they are playing with- You might be a Stay at home mom.

If the photos you have uploaded to FB contain nothing but your children and or the messes they've created in the last week- You might be a Stay at home mom.

If you walk around the house wracking your brain for things to blog about besides your children- You are DEFINITELY a Stay at Home Mom!!

Do you have any others???

3:57 AM

2010-05-17T20:08:00.003-04:00

I'm slowly pulled from my deep warm happy sleep. I lay still, not wanting to move, keeping all of my muscles asleep. I finally open my eyes and look at the clock. 3:57. I sill refuse to move the rest of my body, hoping I can just close my eyes and go back to sleep. I turn on my mom hearing and wait for the inevitable sound I know I'll soon hear. I know there is a reason I've woken up, my mom instincts. I listen to my husband, completely asleep. His dad instincts are working well!

A few sleepy seconds later I hear a muffled cry. I wince, knowing I need to get up. Finally, the one word comes that makes me finally move my body out of my restful position, "mommy!"

The sock conspiracy

2010-05-12T14:20:00.005-04:00

Somewhere lurking deep in my dryer vents is an evil gnome. This gnome's sole purpose in life is to abscond and eat my baby socks...and not just any old baby socks....my matching Gymboree baby socks that I go to the ends of the earth to find. Case in point...I bought my son the "rock star" collection and could have sworn I bought the socks too. I tore my whole house apart and did not find said socks. (Sane people do this, right?) Therefore, I called a few of my local Gymborees to find the socks. They tell me the socks are "hard to find" which only strengthens my resolve to get them. I then turned to my good friend Ebay...no dice. I then decided to start calling the Gymboree stores by my dad in Pennsylvania (UGH-there are only 2 within driving distance of him!!) No luck. I call all 8 stores by my mom in Central Florida. No luck. By this point, I have this scary gleam in my eye which makes my husband keep reading me store numbers from the website. Fear motivates people.

The rest of Nevada? No.

Idaho? No.

I have a friend in North Dakota in the Air Force so I call the store by him...NO.

My Aunt lives in Massachusetts and NOTHING is worse than hearing "We don't have those Sawcks" in the Bawstin accent.

Utah? There's millions of mormon kids who can't possibly wear socks associated with rock stars...they MUST have some in Salt Lake City???? No.

Colorado...its only two states away from us...YES!!!!!!!

The chick who answered the phone must have thought that these damn socks were the holy grail or the cure to cancer because I WAS SO EXCITED. If it were possible to kiss someone through the phone-- I totally did.

The cost of the socks? $3.69

Fedex-ing the socks? $7.99

I didn't care...I would have paid twice that because I. WON.

Back to my original point about the dryer....one guitar sock is gone. Just...gone. I've looked in everyone's underwear drawer...shook out all the towels and no....its not here.

I think the gnome has it...the one who has 10 other baby sock halves hidden in there....and now he got my rockstar sock. I'll get you gnome...if its the last thing I do....

French's recipe ideas (because I like winning things :))

2010-05-08T14:24:00.002-04:00

So, French's has a great recipe giveaway for Mother's Day and..I personally like winning things so- I am posting a recipe of theirs and a recipe of my own. In theory you are supposed to make it easy enough so your kids can do it with YOU....my secret hope is that the recipes are easy enough that your husband can make them with your kids--thereby relieving you of cooking on MD. Pretty sneaky, eh???

What are your kids doing for you for Mother's Day????

Hope its Great..

Candy

This is the recipe posted from the official French's site: Yummmmm.....

High Resolution Image Courtesy of French’s French Fried Onions

CRUNCHY COCONUT SHRIMP

Prep Time: 10 min. Cook Time: 10 min.

1 1/3 cups (2.8 oz.) FRENCH'S® Original French Fried Onions

1/3 cup flaked, sweetened coconut

1/2 cup all-purpose flour

1 lb. large shrimp, shelled and deveined

2 egg whites, beaten

1. PLACE French Fried Onions and coconut into plastic bag. Lightly crush with hands or rolling pin. Transfer to pie plate or waxed paper.

2. PLACE flour in another plastic bag. Add shrimp; shake to coat.

3. DIP shrimp into egg whites. Coat with onion mixture, pressing firmly to adhere.

4. BAKE shrimp at 400°F for 10 min. until shrimp are fully cooked and crispy.

Makes 4 servings

Look for FRENCH'S® French Fried Onions in the canned vegetable aisle!

Variation: Add 1 tsp. curry powder to crushed onions.

Here is my recipe:

Easy and tasty pasta salad

Boil 1 lb any style macaroni (use something different than elbows...they're so boring :))

Wash and Chop 2 sticks of celery (fine or chunky..depending on your preference)

Hard boil, peel and chop 2 eggs

Wash, core and chop one bell pepper (I like red for color)

Mix all ingredients together in a large bowl

Then add 1/2 cup mayonnaise

1/2 cup sour cream

and 1-2 TBS FRENCH'S yellow or Spicy yellow mustard. You can add more mustard in 1 TBS. increments if you want more mustard flavor.

Salt and pepper to taste

Stir REALLY well to coat all pasta.

Chill and serve!!!

Optional:

You can add 1/2 yellow onion or red onion to this recipe if you want to. My family doesn't care for onions so- I leave it out!

If your household is not a "mayo" household...you can add Italian dressing in 1 tbs increments instead of mayo. You just need to stir harder to coat!

~~~~~~~~~~

No-TV Week

2010-05-05T20:16:00.000-04:00

I've heard about this, but having not had a child in school, it was still the stuff of folklore. A week when they ask all the kids, and their parents to watch NO TV. Not at all. Everyday you get a coupon, signed by mom or dad that says that you didn't watch TV. I have a couple of issues with this. First, my kids don't watch that much TV. When they do, its usually so I can take my 2 or 3 time a week shower (Ok, I shower more than that, my hair just doesn't get washed every day- ok?), or so I can cook dinner, or because some kids TV programming is actually pretty beneficial in my opinion (For the record, I HATE shows that want your kids to talk back to the TV set, like they are having a conversation, my kids eyes all glazed over, telling Mickey or Dora what tool to use. Its just creepy)
Second, its usually on a week where the kids are out of school 2 days for Parent Teacher Conferences. Really? Two entire days at home, its still not that springish here, they can't play outside for long, and they aren't supposed to watch TV. Which means that while I'm supposed to be doing the things I'm supposed to be doing, they are bored and need someone to play dress up. I love playing dressup, don't get me wrong, but REALLY? While they are at home all day?
My second problem is that NO TV Week also happens to fall during the NBA finals, and heaven forbid my husband doesn't watch the Utah Jazz. So we've got "Daddy, its no TV Week, for the WHOLE FAMILY!" Him turning up the TV, her crying as if her eyes have been burned by the very sight of the illuminated set.
SO, I think the point of No TV Week is for families to do things together, for kids to play, read books, etc. Which is fine with my husband if the family watches the NBA together.... So, we made it 3 out of the 5 days. All the coupons get entered into a drawing and someone wins some prize for being the most obedient non-watcher of TV. My guess is that we won't be winning any prizes on that one, ever.

Thanks to our special guest writer Tasha for this post!

What to do...what to do?

2010-05-01T15:26:00.002-04:00

Oh Saturday...I wait for you excitedly and...really...for no reason.

All my days are like Saturdays- sans taking my DD to school (which, I don't do anyways--I do the dressing and feeding- DH does the driving) so...Saturday really holds no fabulous-ness apart from the other days of the week. DH goes to work all weekend, so its business as usual for the kids and I.

Yet...theres something about it. A freedom that allows you to use it as an excuse even...."I don't want to clean..its Saturday!" Honestly, I don't clean any other day of the week either so...why should Saturday be any different? We have no place to be, no obligations to meet and I just love it. What are your Saturday's like?

Cautionary Tale

2010-04-29T00:21:00.002-04:00

DO. NOT. SPRAY. TAN. EVER.

and when I say "EVER" I mean EVER.

I am the daughter George Hamilton never knew he had.

I have never seen my teeth so white.

I have never seen my skin looking more diseased.

I'm lucky I don't own any suspenders because I would surely be mistaken for an Oompa Loompa.

I love the fact that I can wear pants all the time.

My husband keeps looking away because he says its hard to take me seriously.

All I wanted to be was tan...and Groupon made it possible for such a good price.

Why Groupon??

?? Why have you failed me????

My daughter told me that "you should have a very great artist draw your face and you can glue it onto your face with washable glue until you look regular again."

Sigh....

Headbutts and Butting Heads

2010-04-13T08:52:00.005-04:00

There are entire government agencies devoted to the welfare of children. They make sure that kids are kept safe and are not neglected or abused which is wonderful.

Where is the government agency to protect parents from their children?

I'm feeling a little emotionally and physically bruised and beaten by my kids. To make matters worse, it's my fault because I raised them. I can only blame myself since they are MY kids.

My oldest is mean. I'm nice to her and she's mean. I'm mean to her and she's mean. I can't figure out how to make her nice or happy. The sad part is is that she is so cute and little. She has her top teeth missing, freckles across her nose and she's tiny. I want to squeeze her and love her and she wants nothing to do with it. She's just too little and cute to be mad and angry all the time. We just clash and fight over silly things.

My youngest is in the midst of learning how to throw good tantrums. The other day during the middle of one she decided to head butt me in the head with her head. I'm not sure who was crying more. Despite my pain, I held her, worried, and rocked her. Much later I felt a large nasty bump on my own head. But somehow, my pain wasn't as important as hers.

So, I'll go into hiding for a few minutes, write my blog, lick my wounds and return to the fighting ring. There is nothing else to do. I guess you have to take the bad days with the good.

Good thing my favorite episode of Dora is on. Maybe that will cheer me up some. :)

Ultimate Blog Party 2010

2010-04-10T20:03:00.003-04:00

DOH! Leave it to me to be late again for another party. That's my lot in life. It's a late lot. But a good life.

I'm Amanda and this is my 3 year old blog full of crazyness, chaos and a little fun. It's all about motherhood and how we adapt to it.

Please take a look around, make yourselves comfortable and enjoy my insanity.

The Easter Party of Doom

2010-03-31T21:08:00.003-04:00

I have a great idea. Let's take a teeny tiny room, fill it with 12, 4 year olds, all of their parents, a bunch of craft materials, and me and my angry baby.

Oh yes, today was preschool Easter Party day. I loathe preschool parties. My angry baby was the center of attention. Probably due to her screaming and yelling. At one point about 5 of the kids had her cornered and were all talking to her. I tried to intervene saying, "Careful honey, she may bite you." "Please don't touch her, she'll hit." It was horrifying. Luckily, only one kid got slapped. After that, they all kept their distance.

When craft time rolled around, she was all up in the glitter and crayons and, yes, glue. There was glue there. I was trying so hard to glue that dang bunny with my son while keeping her out of the crayons and away from the glue. I was literally sweating. It was the ugliest bunny you've ever seen. I didn't cut it right, and it just had quick glops of glue on it. When we left, I tried to leave it behind but one nice mom brought it to me. A reminder of the day.

After the tantrum from coming inside dyed down, I decided I needed to make my getaway early. I grabbed finished crafts, plastic eggs and started stuffing them in my sons backpack. Fake Easter grass was spewing from every crack in his bag. I threw it on him and politely said my goodbyes.

Only one more party left. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.

One Hot Mom ... or not so much.

2010-03-25T13:48:00.001-04:00

The nice weather has gotten me out of my funk. I had it going on the other day. I showered. That in itself is awesome. I was wearing my new denim capris, my cute little Coach flip flops and a tee. My hair was done for once... if you could call it that. I was feeling great.

I picked my son up from preschool and we headed out into the world to get some lunch. Without hesitation I was able to carry my daughter, three beverages, and two trays to our table (thanks for the help employees) with ease. I was feeling confident, happy and for once, like I could do this whole mom of three gig.

That's when I looked down at my shoulder and realized my cute little tee was on completely inside out. DOH! Perhaps that's why the preschool teachers were giving me funny looks while I was talking to them.

I surrender.

The Best Day Ever (Think Spongebob)

2010-03-20T14:49:00.002-04:00

The other day was a normal day. I had to take my son to the dentist along with the terror - I mean my daughter. When I woke up I started to get going when my husband announced, "I think I'll work from home today."

My eyes lit up like on Christmas morning. "Um, that's cool. Do you think you could watch the baby while I take Jake to the dentist?" He agreed and I was out the door laughing like a mad woman. I"m pretty sure there was smoke from my mini-van tires.

The hygienist took my son back to "tickle his teeth". I wish that's what they would do to me when I go back there. And there it was.... a large leather couch with magazines all around and a little coffee bar. I was in heaven. I had a whole 25 minutes of sitting, not doing anything. I drank my coffee and read a magazine. It was glorious.

There were no temper tantrums, no runny noses, no crazy baby eating things off the floor. It's strange how 25 minutes and a big leather couch can make me so happy. Maybe I need therapy. Oh YES! More couches and quiet time! I'm sold.

A Pain in the Teeth

2010-03-11T19:36:00.002-05:00

Teeth. Who needs em?

Teeth seem to be a sore subject in my house these days, literally.

I've got one kid loosing them left and right. Every meal brings on the drama about how she can't eat because her tooth is loose. My menus have to be planned around the wiggleness of her tooth. Whenever a tooth is just about to come out, we look forward to a show of crying, jumping around, whimpering, and mad amounts of "look at me" drama. Fabulous.

I also have another kid getting some new teeth. Again, I've enjoyed days of screaming, crying, spitting, diarrhea and general whining. There's a bit of fear in me too because I know that with those teeth, the inevitable biting will soon come.

And then there is my poor son, in the middle of the two extremely dramatic girls. I'd just be happy if he would remember to brush his teeth once in awhile.

The Poop Has Commeth

2010-03-07T13:27:00.000-05:00

Diarrhea, cha cha cha! I'm surrounded, blah blah blah.

The stomach bug has moved in. The kids have it. The baby has it. The dogs have it. Why don't I have it? Because I'm the lucky one who gets to clean it all up. I'd rather have it.

You've heard of projectile vomit? We'll I'd like to introduce you to projectile diarrhea. My baby has perfected her aim. It shoots out of the back of her diaper and onto the floor, bed, etc. It's lovely.

Of course this all happens when my husband is out of town, in Orlando, "working." Poolside, I'm sure. I want a job.

This is an Emergency

2010-02-25T12:36:00.002-05:00

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. This is NOT a test. This is an actual emergency of the Nanny Deprived Broadcast System.

My microwave has died. I know this because it keeps making zapping noises every other second followed by the smell of burning electrical wires. Then it normally shuts off after 5 seconds. I can only assume that means it's done. I'm guessing.

How will I make mini pancakes, chicken nuggets, lean pockets and my Smart Ones for dinner? What about the Easy Mac? How will my kids survive without Easy Mac? More importantly, how will I warm up my coffee? I feel so lost. Like a warm good friend has left me.

"Marge, isn't there anything faster than a microwave?" - Homer Simpson

Bloggers gone mad

2010-02-21T21:46:00.003-05:00

It seems like everyone blogs nowadays..and some people are making a KILLING at it. Normally, when someone strikes it big unexpectedly, I would say "Good for them- they worked for it". However, it seems like more and more people are "striking it big" with very little effort.

This came to mind recently when I was watching HGTV and saw that Heather B Armstrong- creator of www.dooce.com is getting her own show. How does writing about motherhood and post-partum depression parlay into a show on HGTV???? Isn't her genre better suited for TLC or Lifetime? I mean- any one of us moms could easily make a whole show about our lives. Mine would go as follows "Candy wakes up to screaming baby, nurses screaming baby, allows contented baby to claw and whack at older daughter so she wakes up for school, makes daughters lunch, makes coffee, watches TV and unloads dishwasher.." It wouldn't last for more than the premiere episode. What makes this womans life more watch-able? Don't get me wrong but- just because you can string some words together in a funny blog does not a television star make. Would people watch a show starring you?

And another blogger on my "list" is Perez Hilton. I love his catty gossip and nasty banter. I adore the ridiculous rumors and general trickery. Until Friday night.

I decided that I was going to his party at Lavo Nightclub in the Palazzo Hotel and Casino. His blog claimed "Come party with us!" and I'm all "I want to go meet Perez Hilton!!" Nevermind that I have never "clubbed" in Vegas nor knew what I was getting myself into. I bought a semi attractive dress at Burlington Coat Factory (yup..I'm classy like that) and put a ton of makeup on. Since I couldn't find another Mommy friend to go out with me at midnight-- I took my mom. Yup...my mom and I went clubbing in Vegas. We get there...and get in line. Bouncers are walking up and down the line, looking for women about 10 years younger than me and 100 pounds lighter. We were CLEARLY out of our league...like the fat kids waiting to be picked for dodge ball. About a half hour in line and we were allowed "upstairs". Upstairs was probably a really beautifully decorated club, but you couldn't appreciate it due to the smoke and MASSIVE amount of people smashed together with strobe lights. Thank God I'm not epileptic.

Anyway- through the smoky haze- there was Perez Hilton sitting next to Holly Madison (from Girls Next Door) and some other people I didn't recognize. Well- what I didn't see was a velvet rope. That rope might as well have been plexiglass for all the interaction Perez and Holly had with their "fans". Girls were waving, smiling, making little "come here" motions to them for a photo....and they acted like the fans didn't even exist. I wanted to yell "If you didn't have fans- you wouldn't be famous because you haven't done anything fame worthy!!!" But- you would have never been able to hear me. Hell, I couldn't hear myself...or my mom (who went to wait for me in the hallway...she couldn't take the chaos.) So, I rudely snapped some photos of them- because there were no "No photographs of the exhibit" signs and left. Sorely disappointed.

We here at Nanny Deprived are not "too big for our britches". Hell...I don't even think I really qualify for britches because I haven't blogged enough to earn them. But if I do ever earn some- legitimately...you can be darn sure I will take photos and sign autographs until the sun comes up. Isn't that the right thing to do?

Did I Really Just Say That?

2010-02-04T22:50:00.000-05:00

I've been working on this post for awhile now. I just keep adding to it as I say these horrific things. I'm sure everyone has a few of these they can recall.

Things I've Actually Said as a Mommy:

Why are your panties up there and how did you get them up there?

There's no crying in the Jumparoo!

Pee Pee goes in the potty, not on the wall.

I'm pretty sure the dog does not like wearing tutus.

Please just make faces at the baby for 5 minutes so I can get dressed.

Me to stranger: Can you please hold my baby so I can wipe my son's butt?

Keep it up and we'll be at the ER tonight.

Your Pee Pee (penis) is not invited to the dinner table.

Let's stop singing songs about death.

At least you fell on your knee and not your face.

Hurted is not a word.

This is my favorite episode of SpongeBob!

Do you have any "Did I just say that" moments you can recall?

Babywearing by Force

2010-01-30T13:37:00.008-05:00

I used to love wearing my baby sling. I even liked wearing my baby in it. I bought a super cute sling from Polkadot Papoose and I wore my baby everyday instead of carrying the infant carrier around. It was great and I'll always treasure those memories. I've since "hung up my sling".

Flash forward to now. My baby is 16 months old, fully walking and capable of moving around by herself. However she demands to be carried around the house. If I set her down she makes this horrifying shrieking scream. We don't call her "Angry Baby" for nothing. My older kids cover their ears and yell for me to pick her back up.

And so I carry her while making my coffee, while making dinner, while carrying laundry upstairs, while carrying laundry downstairs, while setting the table, while running out to get something from the garage. She's always being held. I'm always lugging her around. She's permanently fixed on my hip. I'm being forced, against my will, to babywear.

I like to refer to her as my ball and chain. I can't do anything or go anywhere without carrying her. I've created a monster and now I must carry her.

I know what you are thinking. Put her down and let her scream it out. I've tried. I've tried to the point of tears from both of us. As a mom of three, I know it's a phase and it'll pass. I better come away with some great calf muscles or biceps from lugging this kid around.

A Valuable Life Lesson

2010-01-28T13:11:00.003-05:00

My one year old daughter learned a valuable life lesson today. "All good things must come to an end."

She had a small pile of M&M's and was eating them like crazy. It actually made me a little proud watching her stuff 3 to 4 in her mouth at a time. When she ate the last one it set in that there weren't anymore. She screamed, hit, yelled, cried etc.

I must say, it reminded me a lot of myself when my pile of M&M's are gone too. I felt her pain.

Facebook

2010-01-25T01:18:00.004-05:00

Dear Facebook,

I love you. No wait, I hate you. I love how you make me feel connected and part of a community but I hate how you suck my time. I hate that I love your stupidly wonderful games. Take Cafe World for instance. I "cook" a ton of food for people that randomly come in and out of my "restaurant" and appoint my skinny, childless FB friends as dutiful "waitresses" (without their knowledge, of course). I get annoyed when my actual, real life kids make me late to serve my virtual spaghetti and meatballs. If food that I've been "cooking" for a whole 4 hours spoils--there is hell to pay. Ah, how art imitates life when I am left to "clean up" my stove to start cooking all over again. My ratings in real life are much better. Noone leaves my kitchen hungry, whereas my virtual customers leave on occasion because they haven't been served promptly enough. The real life people just wait a bit..or have an appetizer. Do the virtual people offer the same courtesy? Nooooo..they leave and take your hard earned rating down 5 points!

I think I'll stick to cooking in the real world....until my little timer "dings" again.

Our Fabulous New Look!

2010-01-24T17:06:00.002-05:00

Well, Nanny Deprived got a few little nips and tucks. It was time as she was over two years old.

I feel like I've given birth again. The process of creating a new web site design was so much fun and exciting. And now, my baby is here. Take a peek: Gifts for Mom ( a little link love for myself).

Denise from Elle Ink was fabulous and is truly a genius. The fact that she can code html while watching her three kids is AMAZING to me. That's not something anyone should have to do.

We are still working out some kinks and have a few more tricks up our sleeves - coming soon. I'm going to go and sit and stare at my new site now. I'm welling up a little.

Random Thoughts of a 4 Year Old

2010-01-20T17:00:00.006-05:00

The other night I was trying to prepare a perfectly nutritionally balanced and visually pleasing dinner ( ok, I was microwaving some chicken pot pies) when my son hit me with a completely random question.

It was just funny because it was absolute chaos in our house, as usual. My oldest daughter was crying dramatically about having to do homework. My youngest daughter had her head between my legs crying as I tried to move around the kitchen. My son was sitting at the table waiting for his delicious food when he blurted out, "Mom, do witches eat candy?"

"What?" I screamed frustrated and at my absolute breaking point. At the time, I was annoyed by his random question that he really expected me to answer. Not only did he want an answer but he wanted an explination about my answer too.

"I don't know buddy. If I was a witch, I would want candy." That's all I could give him. He seemed as though he approved of my answer and went on drinking his milk.

Looking back on it, it's pretty darn funny the things that go through their heads. Maybe I need to learn from my kids. Maybe I should just stop having logical thoughts and have a few philosophical/random ideas here and there.

Let's see...

Would my rum and coke taste better in a red cup or white cup?
I like wicker lawn furniture.
What's better in laundry - water or detergent?
Bar-b-que tongs are the greatest invention ever made.

I like this. I need to think like a 4 year old more often.

Apology to the Naked Barbie

2010-01-15T19:25:00.003-05:00

Dear naked Barbie laying on my stairs,
I'm so sorry naked Barbie. I apologize for the fact that you've been laying on the landing of my stairs for a number of weeks and I've walked right on by so many times. I know you are a long way away from the Dream Castle and the life you love. I'm not sure why you are naked or how you came to be on the stairs. My only guess is that one of the dogs or the baby laid you at your final resting place.

While carrying the baby upstairs this morning I felt an immense feeling of guilt looking at you. You looked so cold, naked and beaten up. You lacked the happiness in your face and shine in your hair. I'm sure this is a low, degrading point in your life. Probably even worse than when you worked at McDonalds. I bet when you graduated from veterinarian school, medical school, or became the President, you never thought something like this would happen.

I will make this up to you. I promise to pick you up, clothe you in one of your fabulous designer outfits and return you to your mansion, Corvette and horse barn. I'll even try to convince my daughter to stop giving you day long baths in the sink and to keep your clothes on.

Again, Miss Barbie, I'm deeply sorry for any pain and embarrassment this has caused you.
Sincerely,
Your Purchaser,
Amanda

The Simple Act of Showering

2010-01-13T14:54:00.003-05:00

The simple and usually relaxing act of showering is destroyed and gone awry when you need to supervise a one year old at the same time. This, I've recently learned.

Once in a great while I need to take a shower.

When I stink and there is no way of getting around it, I decide to head into the bathroom with a bucket of toys my daughter has never seen. About a minute into the shower she decides these toys are beneath her and starts pounding on the shower doors. Of course I start washing only what absolutely needs to be washed with my blood pressure rising. It's normally about the time I have my head covered in shampoo that she somehow manages to shut herself in the dark closet and begins to scream. I, of course, have to rescue her, naked and covered in shampoo.

My hurried shower normally ends with her banging her head on the door and using her baby sign language - signing "all done" over and over to me. As soon as I step out she demands to be held, annoyed at the fact I wasn't giving her the attention she deserves. I sit her down screaming to quickly get dressed, vowing to never shower again no matter what.

The simple act of showering has been ruined by a one year old. Also add to that, the act of doing laundry, emptying the dishwasher, watching tv, sleeping etc...

A Sad Day

2010-01-12T10:20:00.004-05:00

Today is a very sad day at the Nanny Deprived household. I just used my last drop of Peppermint Mocha Coffee Mate which can only be found during the holiday's. I bought two giant bottles of it and froze them to try to extend my little bit of happiness. I knew the day would eventually come, and it has. My coffee will now lack the little taste of chocolate and mint that I crave like a crack addict.

And so I shall start the Peppermint Mocha withdrawal and go back to the tasteless plain coffee mate. I bid you a fond adieu my love. Until the holidays....

An Exorcism for Christmas

2010-01-11T16:47:00.005-05:00

I'll admit it. I take my poor baby into Mom's Morning Out every Monday just to get away from her. I don't have relatives nearby and my husband travels a lot so I just need a break every once in awhile.

Apparently the wonderful ladies who watch my littlest one need a break from her too, every once in awhile. Upon pick up today, one of the teachers asked me if my daughter "got an exorcism for Christmas?". It seems my little demon was good for once today.

On another occasion I asked one of her "teachers" how she was that day and she replied, "She was very docile today. No one got bit. Of course, I think that's just how she gives kisses."

Yes, wonderful readers, this is my child. It makes it more real to hear other people tell me she's bad. My friends don't believe me. My family doesn't believe me. Those who watch her for a morning can attest to it which makes me feel validated. I take great pride in my demon and the fact people call her so.

Amanda

Phew!!

2010-01-01T21:20:00.003-05:00

Did the past two weeks even exist? Did the past year even happen? I remember it in a sleep deprived, booger covered, baby carrying, juice getting blur.

There were many carpool hours spent, and several weeks worth of sleepless nights, but it just seems like 2009 can't be over already. Wasn't I just lugging half of my house and three kids to the pool every day? Didn't the school year just start? Didn't we JUST complete the insane task of creating and buying Halloween costumes? And now Christmas has come and gone so quickly.

Why are the years going by so fast? I remember being small and waiting what seemed like eternities for my birthdays and Christmas. And now they go by in a crazy, dazzling blur.

Time to get back to work. Tomorrow is probably Valentines day.

Its Christmas...holy crap!

2009-12-21T02:54:00.002-05:00

Thats really the only thing I can say whenever I hear the "4 more shopping days until Christmas"...HOLY CRAP! Where did 2009 go? How can so many crazy, wonderful, unexpected, life altering things in a mere 365 days? It boggles my mind that the first 6 months drug along sooo slooowly, then as soon as my son was born BAM- there flew the other 6 like I snapped my fingers. We may complain about how insane our days are, and how hectic our lives are but really ladies... we have such an incredible amount to be thankful for. To be completely filled with gratitude for. Our kids piss us off, or cost us insane amounts of money in alcohol but really...they're so worth it. Our husbands..yeah...they're dumb--but they're ridiculously loveable. I had this "AHA" moment today at the Dr's office getting my sons immunizations... there was a couple in the next room, Mom and Dad looked a total wreck with a super sick son. I gathered from the flurry of nurses around them that hospitalization and some massive testing was required on this sick little guy. 4 days before Christmas. My heart went out to them because they were literally beside themselves with worry. I sat there listening to the hubbub, holding my healthy little guy and thought "Thank you, God." because I don't think I say it, or think it enough. I think, like everyone else, I get all caught up in the wrapping and the cookies, etc and don't stop to think about how lucky we are...to have presents to wrap...to have cookies to bake...or an oven to bake them in...or a family to give them to (or hide them from because they will eat them ALL while you're not looking...) :)

I'm grateful to have you ladies reading this, sharing your thoughts with me and sharing this insanity called "motherhood" with me.

I am exceptionally grateful for my best friends (like Nanny D. herself) because I simply would not have been able to deal with this wonderful, blunderful year without them.

I could go on and on...but in case I don't get to blog before the end of the 2009...I wish you and yours the very happiest of holidays and nothing but the promise of a crazy, fabulous 2010. The best just keeps getting better, right? :)

Candy

Unspoken Bond

2009-12-09T20:47:00.002-05:00

My daughter had been wearing the same diaper for almost 6 hours. Since it was my "emergency diaper" for the car, and no other diaper remained in a 3 mile radius, I decided it was time to go to the store.

I loaded up my three kids, including 6 socks, 3 jackets and 3 pairs of shoes, and headed to the grocery store. Once there we loaded everyone into one of those giant brightly colored shopping carts for Nanny Deprived moms. You know the ones. The big unstreamlined race cars that really need 6 wheels. They are always wobbly and have some kind of nasty bird poop or stain of some kind on the seats. They are impossible to turn and never fit down the isles quite right. And of course, every kid NEEDS to ride in them.

My personal circus and I headed in the store. Once inside we almost ran into another mom pushing the gigantic shopping cart too. She had a baby strapped to her in a Baby Bjorn and painstakingly tried to back up and navigate past an end cap to move out of our way. All I could do was laugh. She and I looked at each other and knew exactly what hell was. It was so strange to connect so instantly with someone.

Apon passing she asked me if things get easier. My youngest was probably a year older than the 3 month old strapped to her. I smiled and just shook my head. I apologized and said, "I hate to tell you this, but no."

We both continued on through the store, making faces at the babies and yelling bribes at the older kids while trying as best we could to navigate our hugantic carts through the over crowded isles. Sometimes it's nice and refreshing to see someone else in the same giant brightly colored boat I'm in.

Genes

2009-12-07T00:22:00.003-05:00

I think I may start raising funds for a whole new type of genetic testing. Not to cure cancer, or something worthwhile mind you, but to see on which DNA strand the marker for "shopping" is. I am near positive it is an inherited trait, passed down dominantly in females- from mother to child.

If my theory is correct, then I would like to isolate and remove it. The money spent for surgical removal of said defective gene will definitely be made up by NOT going to Kohls, Gymboree or J.Crew. Maybe insurance would even cover the surgery. If we weren't shopping, our stress levels at holiday time would be reduced. People wouldn't get sick from standing out in the cold on Black Friday. Noone would risk their lives on bad roads to make it to Kohl's Night Owl deals. Not shopping most definitely has its health benefits.

Of course, there are the side effects. No "shoppers high". Is there anything else as fun (G rated, of course) as toting your wares into the house- so proud that you remembered the coupon or that you scooped up the last pair of socks in a 12-18 months? Don't you do a little dance in the dressing room when something on the clearance rack is adorable AND fits?? The thrill of the hunt...the glory of the kill (or, the "checking out" in this case...I tend to get a little carried away when talking coupons.) Its primal, I tell you. I'm helpless against it, I was born this way- I swear!

Candy

Back Seat Bitch

2009-12-01T20:49:00.006-05:00

The open road... The wind in my hair.... Spontaneous road trips to Key West for long adult weekends filled with partying, laying on the beach drunk in my bikini and renting mopeds for days filled with shopping. Not a care in the world. I traveled in luxurous style in our Infinity QX 56. I was Queen of the car and fun roadtrips. Of course, that was "BK" (before kids).

Now? Now I'm the back seat bitch in a no-thrills minivan on family roadtrips to visit Grandma. I dole out juice boxes and desired snacks. I change, fast forward, rewind and fix scratched DVD's. I play 45 minute games of, "Where's Mommy?" with the baby and her blankie. I retrieve lost shoes, straws, games, headphones, and binkies for the kids who are strapped down disregarding my own safety. Never mind the fact I have horrible carsickness or the fact that we have 14 hours left to our destination, I keep a smile on my face, a song in my heart and numerous swear words in my head.

I guess I created the need for this minivan and now I must ride in it.

To wait in line or not?....That is the question

2009-11-22T18:40:00.003-05:00

Christmas shopping is upon us and I feel I've been sucked in a little early this year. Vegas is a kind of blah city (once you get off the Strip, of course) so- the idea of decorating my house with something cheery appeals to me. This leads to the inevitable "What do we get everyone?"

Last year was easy...bought my daughter EVERYTHING she asked Santa for, my husband a new watch, my sister-in-law a new Coach...you get the picture. This year? We are down one income and up one diapered drooler. Since "Transition" seems to be my Word of the Year-- how does one transition from that to making one budget to stretch for TWO little people? Luckily, my daughters list for Santa this year is short...near nonexistant. She simply wants what every other child in American wants right now-- the Zhu Zhu pets. Now, I can't quite figure out if she wants them because they're cool or because everyone else wants them so- she's jumping on the bangwagon. I hear people are standing in line for these things and only some are successful. Are they really worth waiting for? Thats my inner Mommy struggle. Am I a bad mom if I don't go to the ends of the earth for a robotic hamster? Part of me thinks "Screw it...it will end up in the toybox abyss like everything else by February" and the other part says "You HAVE to do everything possible to secure one of these things--she asked SANTA!!!" Who's right? I think both halves have equal amount of merit. Has "Santa" ever substituted something comparable at your house? Those Fur Real pets are dang close to the Zhu Zhu's in my opinion... I think I would be pretty happy if one of those showed up instead of NONE electronic pet on Christmas morning. Thats adult "me"..would little girl "me" have felt the same way? Alot of me is struggling to keep "magic" and "wonder" alive in her because... I think little girls are growing up too fast these days. I don't think growing up we were near as mature as the little girls are today. Santa, and all he stands for, is one of my last-ditch efforts to keep her little as long as I can. So maybe I'll stand in line for a pet, or maybe I'll try and get one cheap at 3 am on ebay...or maybe she will get a Fur Real pet and an IOU from Santa on Christmas morning.. who knows?

Candy (Who is having trouble finding her graphic at the moment...)

I Survived

2009-11-18T20:04:00.006-05:00

My youngest child recently turned one year old. All I have to say about this momentous occasion is that I survived the hardest year of my life so far.

I survived 4 months of little to no sleep at night while caring for three kids. There were many mini "naps" on the living room floor while baby played and toddler watched tv. There were those crazy moments of thinking, "I'm never going to know what it feels like to sleep all night again."

I survived 10 months of breastfeeding which means I was never away from my baby more than 3 hours maximum. These 10 months included your typical mastitis, nipple clots, nipple confusion yada, yada, yada.

I survived my first trip the ER with a child. There's nothing like holding down your 15 week old baby while getting an IV put in.

I survived 6 months with a very angry, thankless baby, who I was sure was going to turn out to be an axe murderer or something to that extreme. She eventually became nicer.

I survived trying to figure out nap schedules which worked with elementary and preschool drop off and pick up times.

I survived many more horrifying experiences which now elude my memory. I must say, I'm so happy this past year is over. I have to give myself a little pat on the back for enduring it all and remaining somewhat sane.

One year down... the rest of my life to go. It will get easier, right?

Parent Job Description

2009-11-12T12:25:00.001-05:00

PARENT - Job Description

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging,
permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Source: One of those circling emails!

Will I Ever...

2009-11-12T11:38:00.003-05:00

I had some deep depressing thoughts while showering today. I'm in a mommy funk.

Will I ever purchase expensive lotions and body scrubs again for myself or will I continue to use Baby Soft products?

Will my husband ever treat me to a new piece of jewelry "just because", with three college funds looming over our heads?

Will I ever be able to head out, on a whim, to catch a movie with friends without planning it three weeks in advance?

Will I ever know what's going on in our country or the world again? All the information in my head seems to be about diaper rash, which decongestants I can give to whom and what time soccer is.

Will I ever know the new top song or even new top groups out other than Disney pop stars?

Will I ever wear a dress again? Or a nightgown? Or heels? Or lipstick? Or jeans that cost more than $20?

Will I ever walk into a department store or book store and not head to the kids section right away?

Will I ever NOT get excited about a new cartoon character shaped Spaghetti-O's or chicken nuggets?

I'm up to my ears in mommyness. I just need to see the light at the end of the long dark tunnel.
I love my kids and appreciate them and know it's a short time in my life that they will be this little. But I'd just like to know it will be over at some point. I will have freedom again and be able to think about myself. Someday. I'm sure then, I'll miss them being so little. The grass is always greener... right?

Cyber Monday Coupon Codes to Mom Owned Businesses

2009-11-10T11:33:00.000-05:00

Check out these super coupon codes to various online websites! Remember these sites are mostly owned by moms helping to support their families. Try to spend some of your holiday money with mom owned businesses!

Below you will find products in the following categories: Baby and Kids, Clothing, Handbags and Accessories for Men and Women, Hair Accessories, Gifts, Home and Garden, Jewelry, Organic Products, Pet Products and Photo Cards.

You will find 10 to 25% off products being offered, free shipping or a combination of both. Each sale begins on Cyber Monday which is November 30th this year, the Monday after Black Friday.

Most sales are only for one day unless specified elsewhere.

Make sure to use the appropriate coupon code when checking out so you can save big on items that you have been wanting to get.

I hope you enjoy the Cyber Monday list below and have fun saving!

Cyber Monday Deals and Sales 2009

Gifts for Baby and Kids

Something About Baby:

Deal: 10% off all items in the boutique.

Coupon Code: Use code SAB10. Offer expires 12/31/09

http://www.somethingaboutbaby.com

Dreamscapes Baby: Designer baby products.

Deal: 20% off

Coupon Code: Use Coupon Code: cyber

http://www.dreamscapesbaby.com

Heavenly Hold: Baby carriers, nursing pads and more:

Deal: 10% off

Coupon Code: Please use coupon code: code: NEWBABY

http://www.heavenlyhold.com

Milos Creations: Adorable Costumes for baby girls, boys, toddler

girls and boys , big kids and adults.

Deal: Free shipping on orders over $100.00,and FREE embroidered

name personalization of costumes. See Cyber Monday link for full details.

Coupon Code: Use code FREESHIP09 at checkout

http://www.miloscreations.com

Shop Baby Tree:

Deal: Store wide sale on baby products. Save up to 40% off.

Coupon Code: No coupon code needed.

http://www.shopbabytree.com

The Pitter Patter Boutique: Baby Travel Gear, Gifts for Mom and more.

Deal: 15% Discount

Coupon Code: Enter Coupon Code: CyberSave

http://thepitterpatterboutique.com/

The Crafty Moms: Girls hair accessories, binky clips, diaper wipes cases and more.

Deal: Free Shipping all day.

Coupon Code: No coupon code needed

http://www.thecraftymoms.blogspot.com/

I am the Princess: Princess and girly items for baby girls, little girls and big girls.

Deal: 15% off everything including sale items.

Coupon Code: Please use coupon code: cybermondayseog

http://www.iamtheprincess.com

Itzy Ritzy:

Deal: Celebrate Cyber Monday with 15% OFF celebrity loved

baby gear at www.ItzyRitzy.com

Coupon Code: MONDAY

http://www.itzyritzy.com

Katey Jades Baby Boutique: Christmas Clothing for kids,

personalized gifts, baby products and more.

Deal: 20% off

Coupon Code: hol20

http://www.kateyjadesbabyboutique.com

Lollipop Book Club: Children's book of the club month:

Deal: $10 off any 12-month package

Coupon Code:Please use Coupon Code: sale10off

http://www.lollipopbookclub.com/

Che Demis Boutique: Upscale and Baby boutique.

Deal: 10% off

Coupon Code: GIFT4U

http://chedemisboutique.com

Abby N Kay: Designer Baby Products: Diaper bags, crib bedding and more:

Deal: Free Shipping plus 10% off all Ride On Toys from Warehouse 36. No

coupon code need for the ride on toys.

Coupon Code: Use Code: FreeShip

http://www.abbykayboutique.com/

Merrimack Valley Diapers: Cloth Diapers and Accessories:

Deal: Good for $5 off a purchase of $50 or more plus free shipping.

Coupon Code: Please use Coupon Code CyberMonday

http://www.merrimackvalleydiapers.com

Snooty Booty Diapers:

Deal: Free shipping on any order, plus a $5 gift certificate for each $50 spent.

These offers will be inaddition to any product markdowns in the store.

Coupon Code: Use Code: cmonday

http://www.snootybootydiapers.com

Shabby Bebe: Designer Children's products

Deal: 15% off your order of $50 or more use coupon code: shabby15 and

10% off your order if less then $50 Please use code shabby10

http://www.shabbybebe.com/

Teacups and Mudpies: Trendy children's clothing, baby girl and

baby boy clothing and more.

Deal: Free shipping on all purchases.

Coupon Code: Please use coupon code: CYBER09

http://www.teacupsandmudpies.com/

Corn Bag Critters: A natural, earth-friendly, and non-toxic way to help children and adults soothe pain.

Deal: 20% off:

Coupon Code: Use coupon code: holi21109

http://www.cornbagcritters.com

Born Fabulous:

Deal: We will do free shipping on all orders.

Coupon Code: Please use coupon code:FREESHIP

http://www.bornfabulousboutique.com

Laughing Ladybugs Boutique: Couture Girls Clothing:

Deal: 10% off the entire store.

Coupon Code: Please use coupon code: CYBER10

http://www.laughingladybugsboutique.com

Little Fox Fashions: Designer Kids Shoes, Hair Bows and More!

Deal: 10% discount on all sales plus free shipping

on all orders over $100.00

Coupon Code: CYBER10

http://www.littlefoxfashions.com

Clothing, Hand Bags and Accessories for Men or Women

Get Dolled Up Boutique: Personalized and Monogrammed handbags,

diaper bags, garment bags and more.

Deal: 15% off plus Free Shipping.

Coupon Code: Please use coupon code: 15OFF

http://www.getdolledupboutique.com

QT Sunglasses: Designer Inspired Sunglasses:

Deal: FREE SHIPPING and 20% off on all orders. Free Shipping for US and Canada orders only.

Coupon Code: Please use coupon code:Cyber09

http://www.qtsunglasses.net

Gifts

Nanny Deprived: Gifts for Moms.

Deal: Free Shipping.

Coupon Code: Use coupon code: FREESHIP

http://www.nannydeprived.com

Lone Star graphics: Custom Vinyl Decals, Custom Shirts, Hats and More!

Deal: 20% off any order of $20 or more

Coupon code: cyber20

http://www.lonestargraphics.biz

Label Creations: Personalized Address Labels, Canning Labels,

Tic-Tac Labels, Bag Tags, Checkbook

Covers, Canning Labels, Bookplates, Favor tags, Note Cards,

Hang Tags for Crafters & Events

Deal: 20 % off and Free Shipping for US only.

Coupon Code: Use DISCOUNT COUPON: LC1115

http://www.labelcreations.com

Sassy Sparkle: Personalized Rhinestone Clothing:

Deal: 15% off any order

Coupon Code: cyber09

http://www.sassysparkle.com

Hair Accessories

Little Miss Julia: Hair bows, barrettes and more.

Deal:20% off everything

Coupon Code: Use coupon code: Promo20

http://littlemissjulia.com

My Bonita Boutique: Crochet Headbands, Flower Headbands,

Hair Bows and More.

Deal: 25% off all items.

Coupon Code: Please sure coupon code: cyber25

http://www.mybonitaboutique.com

Pop Tots Boutique: Fabulous hair accessories for girls and beanie hats:

Deal: Free shipping

Coupon Code: Please Use code: Cyber Monday

http://www.poptotsboutique.com/

Home and Garden

Scentsy Wickless Candles: Decorative warmers that fit into any décor and

OVER 80 FRAGRANT WAX BARS TO CHOOSE FROM.The WAX IS

WARMED BY A 15, 20, OR 25 WATT LIGHT BULB.

Deal: Free Shipping

*Email at* melturscentz@gmail.com with FREESHIP in the subject

http://www.melturscentz.com

Luxury Baby Nursery: Designer Nursery décor, Baby Furniture,

Crib Bedding and more.

Deal: 15% Off

Coupon Code: CYBERSALE

http://www.luxurybabynursery.com/

Jewelry

TLC Silver Jewelry:

Deal: 20% off Jewelry and Holders. Valid Cyber Monday only.

Coupon Code: Use coupon code: Checkout

http://www.tlcsilverjewelry.com

Caribbean Jewelz: Handmade Artisan Jewelry:

Deal: 25% off total purchase.

Coupon Code: Use coupon code: cyber60

http://www.caribbeanjewelz.com/

Pendora Pendants: Glass Tile Pendants:

Deal: 25% off all items.

Coupon Code: Please use coupon code: cybermonday.

http://www.pendorapendants.com/

Organic Products:

Tidbit Couture: Organic cloth diapers and Baby products.

Deal: Free Shipping. Plus, additional sales will be offered throughout website.

Coupon Code: Please use code: FREESHIP

http://www.tidbit-couture.com

Krave Natural: Earth Friendly products for Home, Baby and Body:

Deal: Free site wide shipping and there will also be additional savings on items throughout the

store.

Coupon Code: FREESHIP

http://www.kravenatural.com

Pet Products

Punk Luxury Dog Carriers : Buy luxury dog collars, high end

dog carriers and a Christmas costume or two for your dog.

Deal: Free Shipping for US buyers all day long.

Coupon Code: No coupon code needed

http://badasspetz.com

Photo and Greeting Cards

Fun and Sassy Designs: Modern Photo Cards and Personalized Gifts

for Adults and Kids:

Deal: Free Shipping on Orders over $50 + $15 off Orders of $99 or more through 11/30 at midnight EST

Coupon Code: Use Code: CYBER15

http://funandsassydesigns.com

Bunny Prints: Personalized Photo Cards for Birthday and

Baby Shower plus matching birthday clothing.

Deal: 10% off

Coupon Code: cyber09

http://www.bunnyprints.com

Photo Card Designs: Photo Cards for Weddings, Birthdays ,

Baby Showers and more.

Deal: Good for one day only- 5% off .

Coupon Code: Please Use Code: cybermonday

http://photocarddesigns.com

Pitter Patter Creations: Trendy birth announcements, birthday invitations,

baptism invitations and more!

Deal: Receive free shipping for orders over $30.

Only one promotional code may be used per order and cannot be combined.

May not be used on previous orders.

Coupon Code: Use coupon code: FREESHIP09

http://www.pitterpattercreations.com

Lemon Tree Cards:

Deal: 15% discount expiring 12/25/09

Coupon Code: Please use coupon code: LEMONADE

http://lemontreecards.com

Death To The Green Booger Fairy

2009-10-27T12:55:00.003-04:00

The Green Booger Fairy visited my house last night. I would love to find her, pin her down and pluck her little wings off one by one. The only thing worse is the Pink Eye Fairy. Lord knows she's been to our house a few times. I'm just waiting for the Head Lice Fairy. I know she's around lurking in our bushes. Waiting for a good time to attack our house.

There is nothing worse than wiping your child's nose with a tissue to find a gigantic green booger that just won't stop coming out. You know what I'm talking about. You normally need three or four tissues to get it all out. Or scissors to cut it loose and give up. Not much phases me anymore. I've seen it all but those nasty green rubber band boogies just freak me out.

It's even more entertaining to see those boogies at 4am when you're awake with a severely congested kiddo. Or while in the middle of a conversation with the man in charge of "Small Businesses" at the bank. Had that happen once. I think he understood the meaning of my business name, "Nanny Deprived" at that exact moment while I kept reaching for tissues off his desk and trying to scoop out the greenness from my son's nose. I just kept talking like it was nothing while gagging and wanting to vanish on the inside.

Tis the season of the Green Booger Fairy. Wish me luck on catching her so I can do away with her for all of our sakes.

Susie F. HomeMaker

2009-10-26T01:18:00.003-04:00

Hi ladies!!
I am so sorry that I have been slacking in the blog department. Thank God my boss (Mandy) is lenient when I either don't show up for work or come to work tipsy (heehee). Can I just "woohoo!" for a moment and state that she will be joining me here in Sunny Vegas soon so-- stay tuned for the blogging insanity when we're together. I can't wait!

Now to my post...

I think I'm starting to get a rash from being a stay at home mom. This rash is in the shape of a potholder at the end of my hand. I actually bought new potholders today because the ones I had weren't heat resistant enough and didn't match my dishes. I SO wish that I was kidding.
In the past several weeks I have purchased:
Silverware (because my nonexistant dinner guests couldn't use the mismatched crap we had)
The aforementioned potholders, with the matching dishtowels and oven mitt.
A cutting board with a colander inside it that goes over your sink
and other miscellaneous kitchen goodies like a grater and funnel.
Please note at no time did I type "Oh, and I found these cute boots!" because I haven't. I haven't even ventured into a department other than "Home"
WHO AM I? AND WHAT THE HELL HAVE I DONE WITH MYSELF????
When asked the other day what I wanted for christmas I IMMEDIATELY replied "The Temp-tations bakeware from QVC!" I nearly danced home when found some Lenox crystal wine glasses for dirt cheap at Burlington Coat Factory. My husband's aunt sent me some Halloween cupcake pans and I immediately started thinking of pumpkin shaped confections to bake. I would do unspeakably dirty things for some Calphalon cookware. (Don't tell my husband..he may google what that is and then I'll have to put my money where my mouth is)
Am I experiencing some kind of 1950's timewarp where women go from cool careerwomen to insane Susie Home-Makers??? When did I transition from "I have nothing to wear!!" to "I just don't know what to make for dinner!"
Sigh...I should go finish ironing my curtains before the dryer buzzes and wakes the baby up....

Super-Non-Pooping Mom

2009-10-23T20:20:00.003-04:00

Everyone Poops. I've read the book and have proof. If it's written, it must be fact, right?

Well so far I know it is true. I can speak for myself, in that, I poop. There, I said it. And until I evolve into Super-Non-Pooping Mom I will continue to have to poop. And that is unfortunate in itself because every time I need to use the restroom, the chaos begins.

Take the other day, for example. I decided it was time to "go" and found activities for each of my kids to keep them occupied. The oldest was doing homework, the baby had a new toy and the toddler was watching Sponge Bob. All was good and I decided it was time.

While I was having my moment, my oldest decided to slam her book down causing the dogs to bark, causing the baby to scream, causing the toddler to run to see what had happened causing him to trip and get a boo boo on his elbow.

I sat screaming in the bathroom, "What was that?" "What happened?" "Who's crying?" "Who's not crying?" "Why are the dogs barking?" Absolute mayhem, as normal.

I emerged from the bathroom, holding up my pants, hands unwashed, trying to figure out who to help first.

I hope I evolve quickly into Super-Non-Pooping Mom. It would come in rather handy but I imagine I'd be quite bloated.

And the Winner is...

2009-10-22T11:25:00.003-04:00

The Monkey's Mama has won the Bumpy Name Orbit Lables! She's been contacted and we are so excited for her.

WE'll have another give away very soon. Thanks to all who participated!

Amanda

My Seo Gal's Blog Hop - Bumpy Name Orbit Label Give Away

2009-10-03T16:04:00.011-04:00

Welcome to Nanny Deprived, the blog! Time to get out your martinis ladies! It's a Blog Hop!

I'm sure drinking mine!!

Please take a look around the wonderful world of being Nanny Deprived. Candy and myself enjoy writing about the chaos that is, being a mom. We hope you'll read some of our latest posts and sit back and enjoy.

Now, lets talk about the all important give away!

Nanny Deprived will be giving away one of our favorite products from our store: Nanny Deprived - the Inchbug Bumpy Name Orbit Label 4 pack. The lucky winner will get to pick from their favorite color, choose their name and icon and have it shipped to them at our expense.

These are perfect for keeping tabs on your kids drinks, bottles, sippy cups. They are removable, washable and
just a great product. Perfect for daycare, preschool, soccer practice, playgroups or anytime.

How to enter:

1) Leave a comment on your favorite Nanny Deprived product from our store.
2) Become a follower of this blog and let us know in a comment.
3) Fan us on Facebook and let us know in a comment.
4) Visit our ongoing story contest and vote and let us know which story you voted for.

Feel free to post daily to give yourself more chances to win.
The prize will only be shipped to an address in the Continental US. We will choose a winner by random number generator on Oct. 21. Winner will be notified by email (make sure we have access to your email).

Be sure to take a look around at all the other great blogs doing give aways below!

The Great Tic Tac Debacle of 09

2009-09-30T11:53:00.000-04:00

It all started with a little plastic box of Tic Tacs. What harm could come from that?

I'll tell you. My daughter became the back seat Tic Tac Tyrant. She felt the power of the red and yellow tic tacs. I often heard crying and begging because my son was unable to get any red tic tacs. It was Tic Tac mayhem.

And then, one day, it happened. A Tic Tac Coup d'état. My son took that little plastic box while his big sister was at school and felt a little tinge of the power it induced.

From that point on, it was all out Tic Tac war. There was yelling, hitting, tantrums, but I must say; minty fresh breath all along. Finally we came to the Great Tic Tac Treaty. A compromise was reached and now I must buy two boxes of tic tacs from now on. Stupid me to believe my kids could share something.

I Voted In the Nanny Deprived Story Contest

2009-09-30T11:45:00.008-04:00

The newest story contest is up here: Mom Story Contest. Make sure you vote for your favorite daily and come back and retweet this post! WoOt!

The Needy Mom

2009-09-24T20:05:00.002-04:00

Hi! I'm Candy. Our children have the remote possibility of having something in common besides eating and sucking air.... would you be my friend?????
Thats me.
ALL THE DAMN TIME.
Im like the poster child for women who moved and need friends. I find myself at my daughters elementary school, scoping out the "normal" looking mothers. The ones with clean kids or all their teeth. The ones who maybe, just maybe, might want to be my friend. I get my best smile on and try my best to wipe the spitup off my shoulder. I threaten my two month old not to cry (kidding) and tell him to act cute for attention. I'm like a dude who uses his niece or nephew to pick up chicks. Only much more desperate and better intentioned. I lack that essential girlfriend to come over and drink wine with me, or go to the mall with, or just call and be catty with. Oh, how I love the catty calls. I can call any number of East Coast friends and do those things. But dropping everything and flying 5 hours is a bit much just to come scrapbook with me for a few hours. Remember when we were young and in school? It was SO EASY to make friends. Even in college, you popped open a beer or some cheap Zinfindel and voila! Friends!!! Now its all about the approach and the things in common and the blah blah blah. Why cant we just say "Hey! I require adult interaction! Give me your number and I might cook you dinner?" Too forward? I thought so. Too bad I never had any "game" in the dating world, so I sure as heck dont have any in the "score some Mommy friends"world. Sigh...

I totally scored a number today though... she said she would go for coffee with me. Do I call her right away or wait a few days to call so I dont seem too desperate?

The Witching Hours

2009-09-16T11:25:00.006-04:00

"Treasure these times." "These years go by so fast." "Where does the time go?"

I'll tell you where the time goes. A documented 54 extra minutes are added between the hours of 3 and 6pm. That's the time when I feel every single tick of the clock, not to mention the extra minutes I swear are there. Those are the Witching Hours at my house. My angelic three kids turn into little demons torturing me with their demands and commands.

"I HATE HOMEWORK."
"WIPE MY BUTT!"
"AAHHHHGGGGOOOOOO!"

That's all I hear. I usually end up cornered by my little spawns in the kitchen, shielding myself with the refrigerator door. I can fend them off for a few minutes by throwing some Gogurts and an assortment of fruit juices at them. I remain, in the kitchen corner, frightened, hoping that something on the TV will spark their curiosity and they'll leave me. I sit there, counting the never ending ticks of the clock, waiting for my noble knight in shining armor, on his steed (or silver Ford Taurus) to come and rescue me and turn my little beasts back into themselves. All they need is a fresh body full of energy to revitalize them. Once he bursts through the door, peace is restored and the clock continues to move at a normal rate.

So, yes, the years go by so fast. It's the minutes between 3pm and 6pm that drag on and on and on.

My husband thinks I'm evil

2009-09-13T18:18:00.005-04:00

I feel slightly bad writing this post to follow that very poignant post from Amanda regarding 9/11. All "me me me" when the previous issue was so much larger than any one of us. I hope the families of those affected by the tragedies are healing and finding peace.

Ok, time for some humor (generally at my expense..)

So, sleep depravation does crazy things to people. Apparently it is turning me into some horrific demon. Case in point, the hamster (aka, the thing I never wanted and had brought into my home against my will) got loose the other morning. This particular morning, my son decided that intemittent sleep throughout the night was a great idea. Needless to say I was tired. Dead tired. The hamster decided captivity was simply not for her so, after weeks of planning.. she sprung loose from her pink prison. Amazingly, we didn't find her spread eagle on the bathroom floor as she had to take quite the leap from the top of the vanity. Anyways, my ex-husband discovers this when he came to take my daughter to school. He alerts my husband and father so there are 3 grown men in search of teeny "Sally", even calling for her like a dog. None of them will admit to this but, my daughter told me its true. Apparently they searched for quite some time but to no avail. Later in the morning I discover this and develop extreme paranoia that she's just waiting around a corner, or in a heating vent to attack me. The conversation then goes as follows:
Me: "Why didnt you wake me earlier to help?"
Husband: "Your dad asked the same thing and I told him that if we woke you, you would find it with some heat seeking superpower, rip its tiny heart out and then eat its soul."
Me: "WHAAAAAAA? Am I that bad? Am I that tired?"
Husband: "Yes. Its best not to wake you."
Wow. I've gone from "Good Morning Mommy!" to "Don't wake mommy! She'll eat your soul!"
Perhaps instead of some energy drinks, an exorcism is in order?

Either way, I need some uninterrupted sleep.

Remembering 9/11

2009-09-08T09:12:00.004-04:00

I know this blog is dedicated to the crazy life of moms but I feel it's important to take a moment to remember 9/11. I've joined the MckLinky Blog Hop for this week because I plan to read other peoples stories and memories about that day.

I was teaching that day. I had a large class of 5th graders and we were going over social studies. My teacher's aid walked in with a weird look in her eye. I remember being annoyed that she was interrupting me and then she whispered in my ear, "Two planes just hit the World Trade Towers in NYC. The US is under attack." My first question was, what kind of plane. My husband had left that morning for a business trip, on a plane. When she said they were commercial planes, my heart dropped. I wanted to run out of the room and see what was going on but I knew I had to protect the kids in my classroom. I told my aid to go get more information for me and I kept going on with my lesson.

A few minutes later we went to specials. In the hall all of the teachers were looking at each other trying to read each other's faces to see what they may know. Was anyone crying, what was going on? Every minute hurt me. Once my students were at art class I remember running down the hall to my classroom. I turned on the news just in time to see the first tower crumble to the ground. I just stood there, alone, dumbfounded. I ran to the office and saw a line of people waiting to use the phone. I stood there not talking to anyone. Finally when it was my turn, I dialed my husbands cell phone and got his voice mail. I left a message and walked back to my room. I watched the second tower fall minutes before I had to go get my kids.

I continued the day. I was unable to continue with my lessons. I got out the play doh and let the kids just color or read. Many parents started to come to get their kids out of school. When they came to the classroom, I would ask them what they knew. I would get little bits of information throughout the day. The kids of course knew something was going on and kept asking. I remember telling them that something bad had happened in our country. I told them to discuss it with their parents. I didn't want to be the one to tell them. I couldn't.

As soon as the day ended, I ran to my car and just started to cry and cry. I must of sat in the parking lot for an hour crying. During that time I got a call from one of my best friends who told me that my husband had gotten a hold of him. His plane had been diverted to Cincinnati but he was ok. He had been trying to call me all day but couldn't get through. With that news, I thought I could at least drive myself home.

Once home I remember watching the news all night. My husband was able to call. He rented a car and started to drive from Cincinatti to Florida. He was home in a few days and I'd never been so happy to see him.

Such a sad day in our country's history. Being around kids, trying to hide my fear and not being able to know exactly what was happening was so hard. I'll always remember those who lost their lives that day.

What's your memory of that day?

Deep Thoughts of a 10 Month Old

2009-09-01T17:55:00.007-04:00

If I could hear the thoughts of my 10 month old, this is what she is thinking...

Do not go anywhere. I'm just going to keep pinching your leg to make sure you are still here.

Who is that crazy boy and why is he sitting on your lap? You are MY mommy.

Mommy, stay right here. Don't move and don't go anywhere. I just need to check out that little shiny peice of paper. Don't move!

I'm getting parched. Lift up your shirt woman.

I see you trying to get up and walk away. You will feel my wrath if you do. Do NOT leave me.

Who is this man that is always trying to hold me? He is not mommy.

Mommy, stay very still. I'm about to use your clothes and my razor sharp fingernails to pull myself up to a standing position. Stay very still because I need to do it at least 25 times.

Clap for me mommy. You're not looking at me. Clap. Clap I say.

I'm pretty happy here just holding my pencil eraser and spider man toy, spinning around and around and around on my butt. This feels so cool. Pivot. Pivot. Hee hee!

Open Apology to Stay at Home Mothers

2009-08-28T02:34:00.006-04:00

Dear Stay at Home Mothers Everywhere,
I'm sorry.

There- I said it.

I am so exceptionally sorry for talking about you, and being jealous of your "luxurious" existence. I had no clue and for that, you are owed an apology. Your job is harder than it looks.
Prior to the birth of my son I thought " Stay at home mothers can't possibly have a tough time. What the heck am I going to DO all day?" HA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! My days have never gone by so quickly!!! I don't even know what day it is, let alone what time. For the record, its 11:42 pm and I haven't finished putting the groceries away, the dishwasher isn't loaded for its nightly washing and I still have 3 loads of laundry left to finish. I no longer have a set "to do" list..its more like a "fly by the seat of your pants" experience. Here's what I did today (in no particular order): 6 loads of laundry, 2 children bathed, 1 child to and from school, 6 diaper changes, battled infant to drink one bottle of poop inducing apple juice, sent 1 sorely neglected husband off to work, changed 2 sets of sheets, cooked 3 meals and prepped one for tomorrow, grocery shopped for 1 hour. I'm exhausted and yet, it feels like I did nothing. How do you ladies do it? Perhaps some of you veterans need to offer a boot camp for rookies. People need to be informed before signing up for this...it certainly ain't for sissies.

In It To Win It

2009-08-26T21:29:00.003-04:00

I'll admit it. I frequently cheat at kids games. I've been known to stack the cards at Candy Land or to tell a little white lie during Go Fish. My three year old can't count so I can totally tell him 32 is bigger than 43 druing Big Fish, Little Fish. No harm no foul.

If I'm going to take time out to play a game I had better win. I know, many of you are thinking badly of me. But my kids are tough competitors. They try super hard and love it even more when they do win. They even love it more when they catch me cheating and call me out on it. I don't baby them. They know how to loose. When they loose they just want to try again and I love that. One day, they'll cheat better than me and take me down. Until then I'll just keep beating them with the occasional free win to keep the taste of victory in their greedy little mouths.

Anyone up for some Chutes and Ladders? Muhwaha!

Sin(less) City

2009-08-21T00:27:00.002-04:00

Greetings from Fabulous Las Vegas!

I thought I knew motherhood..I thought I was pretty dang good at it. Single, working motherhood agreed with me. I had a great job that enabled me to travel, a well balanced 5 year old daughter and a closet stuffed with Juicy Couture. I enabled an employees termination from my blackberry while on a ride at Disneyland once. Who could possibly want more from life? Not so much a matter of "who" exactly but of "what". My biological clock...thats what. My apparently deeply buried need to be domestic and sign up for another c-section about two and a half months after my whirlwind, impromptu marriage in Vegas to my best friend turned love-of-my- life ..thats what. DOH!!
Fast forward to now, 5 months after I lost aforementioned good job (Thanks economy!) 5 weeks post birth of new baby boy and 2.5 weeks post move cross country from Orlando to Las Vegas, NV. My title has gone from "Working Mommy of 1" to "Stay at home Mommy of 2". Had you told me this would be my reality a year ago, you would have gotten a (very well-manicured) finger response.
I'm learning that Mommy-hood in Sin City may be even more of a challenge than regular old Mommy-hood. (Regular! HA!) For example, the other night I was pushing my infant down the Strip (yes.. I wanted to get out of the house so we went to visit Daddy at work) and an old man walks up to me and yells "You are a bad mother! You bring your child to Las Vegas????" I gasp. He makes the Catholic "sign of the cross" on himself and walks away. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? At first I felt guilty (because thats what "bad" Catholics feel when confronted with "good" Catholics, right?)
Then I thought "Hey buddy! I'm bringing my baby to visit his dad on his lunch hour!! Isn't that what everyone in Vegas does? Spends quality family time while slot machine's chime and roulette tables click?" On second thought, I'm kind of glad I didn't get to defend myself. I know what I'm doing... or do I?

Thanks for reading my first blog post.. I'm extremely excited to join Amanda in blogging madness!

A Re-Birth

2009-08-20T15:05:00.005-04:00

My business has been booming and I'm wonderfully excited and greatful. However I've been neglecting someone very special to me. I like to consider my blog my 4th child.

I've been there for it through sickness and health. My blog stood by me during the great Miracle Blanket debacle. I've raised it, beautified it, brought it out into the world and now I feel just awful at how I've been treating it. It's been a great blog, bringing me visitors, sales, and most of all smiles to my face from all of the great comments.

As I can't let it go, I've decided to give it a re-birth by inviting one of my greatest friends to write on it. I'm so excited to introduce my great friend Candy who will be guest writing on Nanny Deprived - The Blog.

Grandma Detox

2009-08-15T09:31:00.002-04:00

It's day 5 of Grandma detox. My mother in law left on Monday. The kids took it hard. There was a fair amount of shaking and rolling around on the floor.

We had to relearn the meaning of the word "no" again. The kids didn't understand why I didn't spring up out of my chair to top off their juice cups. Snacks were not delivered to them the precise moment they asked for them. And most important of all, they couldn't comprehend why they didn't get ice cream every night.

I'm happy to report they are slowly returning to their pre-grandma visit selves. It's been a hard journey but we are almost there.

Four Day Old Cheese Dip

2009-08-11T21:43:00.003-04:00

Here I sit. Exhausted from a long day of teething, first days of school, and a bored toddler. They've all gone to bed. The music choice 90's channel is on and I'm rocking out to some old Whitney Houston. I just got to sit down to eat my dinner at 9:30pm. Four day old cheese dip and slightly stale tortilla chips is my delicious dinner. I'm in my rocking chair watching the heat lightning out the window. Sometimes things can be so right. That or I'm just really tired and everything seems so perfect.

I HATE Laundry

2009-08-11T14:30:00.002-04:00

I know. Big shock. Another mom blogger writing about the hell that is laundry. I think the reason everyone hates it so much is the fact that it never ends.

I'm going to invent eco friendly disposable clothes. They can be made out of tissues or something. Maybe hemp. Once you wear them you just throw them away. I love it.

Is it bad that I don't get my baby dressed unless we are leaving the house. She just roams around in a diaper because it's less laundry. I know. I'm ashamed.

Alright, here I go to do another load. Blah.

Back to School Contest

2009-08-11T14:09:00.005-04:00

Back to school. Back to school. To prove to Dad that I'm no fool. Got my shoes tied up tight. Hope I don't get in a fight.

The first person to comment and tell me where the above song is from gets a free bottle of MomSpit to clean up those little faces! I'm feeling a little bit crazy today. Maybe it's the caffeine. Maybe it's the lack of sleep but I've been singing the above song all day in tribute to my daughter going back to school.

I can only afford to ship to the continental US so please do not enter if I can't ship to you.

Happy Back to School Season Everyone!

Time to Spice it Up!

2009-07-30T21:24:00.004-04:00

When you've been doing the same dirty chore the same way for a very long time it obviously get's old. The only thing you can do is try something a little bit different, a little crazy, to spice things up. It's time to break the monotony for my sanity and my husband sake.

My oldest daughter is soon turning 6. Although it's very monumental all I can think about is the fact that I've been changing diapers for 6 very long years. Don't get me wrong, my daughter is potty trained. I've just had kids so close together that I've always had one in diapers. I've decided it's time to spice things up.

On a crazy internet whim, I bought a set of gDiapers, liners and flushable liners. I felt these were the best choice for myself because I just can't keep up with laundry so I knew I couldn't do cloth diapers.

I just got my huge box of gDiapers yesterday. I have to say, they are mighty cute. My daughter's hiney looks darn cute in cloth diapers. Especially the pink frilly ones. I couldn't resist. They seem breathable and comfy on her too.

gDipers are a "hybrid" diaper which means they aren't quite cloth and aren't quite disposable. They are cloth outer diapers with a flushable liner. So far, pretty good. I did clog the toilet once today with a wet diaper. I do like the fact that I can flush the dirty diapers. No more stinky Diaper Genie. No more dogs scoring a fresh treat. Sorry, but "it" happens.

Let's hope this is the little change I need. I hope this tiny amount of change gets me through the next two years I have left of diaper changing hell.

Can I Get Some of That?

2009-07-22T10:31:00.004-04:00

Yesterday I took my kids to Dinosaur camp in the morning, we rode bikes outside for two hours while the baby slept and then went to the pool for another three hours. While driving back from the pool my son asked, "Mom, what are we going to do when we get home"? I felt like saying, "Honey, mommy's going to drink a rum and diet coke and pass out on the couch. I don't care what you do as long as the baby isn't choking and you are all quiet".

Where do these kids get this energy and where can I get some? I'm trying very hard to wear my kids out but all I'm doing is wearing myself out. The more I do with them the more they expect. They are becoming activity greedy little monsters.

Maybe I need another "don't leave the house, stay in pj's all day", day. Then maybe they'll appreciate a few hours at the pool or camp in the morning. But then I'll be pulling my hair out listening to, "I'm bored".

What's the lesser of two evils? Being exhausted from running around like a crazy mom or listening to my kids fight and be bored? I can't decide.

Reusable Sandwich Bags – Not Just For Sandwiches

2009-07-19T16:33:00.002-04:00

Our society has made a push for using reusable things to reduce waste and production and clean up our environment. Although this is a wonderful reason for making new reusable items, it’s also reason to celebrate because these items are great for other purposes.

Reusable sandwich and snack bags can be used for multiple purposes. They are more durable than their cheap plastic counterpart and can be washed easily. Reusable sandwich bags can be used for the following purposes:

Storing extra batteries in the car to replace headphone batteries or hand held game batteries
Carrying crayons to restaurants
Storing game cartridges for hand held games
Carrying a pacifier at an easy reach in a diaper bag – keeps it clean and germ free
Keeping coins or game tokens for your next trip to an arcade
A place to store hair bows, rubber bands, barrettes for hair
First aid kit – add band-aids, medicine, bug sting stick, first aid cream
Great for holding makeup – can be washed easily
Holding small toiletries such as toothbrush, travel toothpaste, travel mouthwash and shampoo

As you can see, the possibilities for reusable sandwich bags are endless. Of course, they are also useful for what they are intended. Carrying a snack or sandwich inside is perfect. Sandwiches stay fresh and uncrumpled. Kids associate their snack with their bag and automatically know which snack is theirs. The bags make snacks more appealing and fun to eat from.

One household can spend as much as $300 a year in plastic sandwich bags. Purchasing reusable sandwich bags can save money and decrease waste and production. Most reusable sandwich bags are currently produced by small business, many work at home seamstresses. Supporting these hardworking woman and men and ending up with a very usable, green product is a win-win situation.

We are currently running a sale on our bags with FREE SHIPPING! Hurry - this is for a limited time.

Top 10 Things to do on a Rainy Day

2009-07-16T19:41:00.000-04:00

There is nothing worse than a house full of bored, energetic kids on a rainy day. Having a few activities for rainy days on hand will reduce their boredom, reduce tension and anger and make for a much happier day. It's important to keep these activities on reserve for just rainy days. If you do them all the time, it won't be as special on a rainy day. Keep some activities just for those cloudy wet days.

Activity 1 - Play-Doh Mouse House
Every house should have a few cans of play-doh around. You can create your own or buy some from the store. Kids love to create with play-doh but when they are given a task it becomes much more fun and imaginative, especially for younger kids who may not know exactly what to do. Tell your kids to design a house for a mouse. They can make little couches, TV's inside the house. The house can just be walls and rooms, not necessarily a 3D structure. Let the kids explore and imagine. The kids can even make mice to live in the house.

Activity 2 - Create a Fort
Forts can be made out of anything around the house. Don't only make a fort but give the kids something to do inside such as watch a movie, color a picture or read a book with a flashlight. They then have a goal to accomplish once the fort is created.

Activity 3 - Make a Movie
Most households have camcorders. Keep a blank tape or DVD around for rainy days. Let your kids create a story to be made into a movie. Have them collect props, costumes and whatever else they need. Do a few dress rehearsals before the "taping". This rainy day activity will turn into a cherished memory years to come.

Activity 4 - Crafts
Keep a small Tupperware box full of craft things in your house for rainy days. You can buy these things on clearance or at the dollar store throughout the year. Buy wooden pegs or blocks to paint. Foam stickers are fun to create designs and pictures out of. Construction paper, scissors and glue are great for making masks or puppets.

Activity 5 - Board Games
You can find board games on sale at local toy stores around Christmas. Games are now available for children of all ages and levels. Purchase a few and keep them in your rainy day cupboard and only get them out for rainy days. New toys or games keep kids excited and interested. Play together as a family and come up with a prize for the winner.

Activity 6 - Paid Jobs
This kills two birds with one stone! Make a chart of jobs to be done around the house and the amount you'll pay to have them done. These can be easy jobs like dust or put laundry away. They can be more difficult like give the dog a bath or empty the dishwasher. All should be age appropriate. Kids will be eager to work around the house if they know they will get paid.

Activity 7 - Teach Your Children How to Use the Computer
Make a power point presentation on a topic of your child's choice. Teach them how to copy and paste things. Play on the internet on various children websites such as www.noggin.com. Teach your child how to use paint or any other painting application. This knowledge will be extremely valuable later on in life.

Activity 8 - Old Fashion Games
A great rainy day activity is to play some old fashioned games. Hide and Seek, Kick the Can, Red light Green Light, What Time is it Mr. Fox. Duck Duck Goose, I Spy, Four Corners, Hot Potato and Keep Away are just a few or the classic games. You can google the games for directions.

Activity 9 - Tell Nursery Rhymes
So many kids today don't know the old nursery rhymes of yesteryear. Get out a good Nursery Rhyme book or you can get one from the Library and share some good old fashioned tales with your kids. To make it even more fun, have your kids choose a character and act it out while reading it. Your kids will understand the story even better and get out some of their extra energy on a rainy day.

Activity 10 - Symmetrical Painting
Use some white computer print paper and some paint. Fold the paper in half and only let your kids paint on one half. When they are finished fold the paper and press firmly. When the kids open it up they'll see their beautiful designs. You can cut the paper into heart shapes or butterflies. Be sure to teach them the term symmetrical as this is a great teachable moment!

Wake Up Baby!

2009-07-13T19:50:00.002-04:00

My world revolves around my daughter's naps. I love the fact that she naps so well and she's on such a great schedule. I shouldn't complain because I know some of my great readers, who have kids who hate to nap are probably putting a hex on me right now. BUT, I hate the fact that I'm stuck at home with my two older kids between the hours of 9-11 and 1:30-3:30. Thankfully I have just enough time to get out for lunch or a trip to the grocery store.

I hated seeing the end of naps for my older kids, but with that sadness came a sense of freedom. I no longer had to drive frantically home from a play date with the windows open and radio blaring (I know you've done it) to keep my toddler awake until we got home for nap time. I could peruse the mall and not care what time it was. We could linger at the grocery store or a friends house.

Not anymore. I've started all over with baby number 3 and what's worse is I'm back to two naps a day with two bored older kids. I know what you are thinking, just let her sleep in the car or stroller. Well, you haven't met "Angry Baby." When my baby gets off her schedule, she reverts to her old nick name. You don't want to feel the wrath of Angry Baby. So, I sit here for four hours a day, stir crazy, entertaining the older kids.

Not Your Average Snack

2009-07-12T20:25:00.006-04:00

I need to give a shout out to the food manufacturing industry. When my first daughter was born Gerber came out with Puffs, the little melt in your mouth snacks for babies. I thought those were the greatest thing in the world and so did she. I used to refer to them as "Baby Crack." Today my youngest daughter bats those away when she sees them. Those are nothing compared to the food that's out there today for babies.

It's wonderful. Gerber has made Melt Aways, little yogurt dried snacks that melt in your mouth. They also have Lil' Cruncher which are almost like a semi-nutritious cheese puff chip. My all time favorite snack are the Mum Mums which are like a puff shaped like a big stick. They are clean, and easy for the baby to hold. I love them.

As a busy mom of three with a very independant baby, I salute you food manufacturers. These snacks have given me time to unload the dishes from the dishwasher, put groceries away and check the occasional email. I love products that make my life a tad easier.

Mediocre Mom

2009-07-03T20:37:00.002-04:00

I got to watch 5 minutes of Oprah today. That's all of the allotted tv time I get these days between Hannah Montana and Noggin. I usually only get to tune in just to see the topic I'm going to miss before all of the complaints come rolling in.

Today they were discussing Motherhood. There were two perfect looking moms talking about the demands of motherhood and how so many moms weren't able to meet those demands and how most moms were not happy with their role.

It made me think about the amount of pressure put on moms these days. So many moms try to have the perfect kids and perfect life. They dress them all up and expect them to be angels. They drive them to every lesson known to man and expect them to succeed. They cook perfectly balanced meals and expect their kids to eat them. They make all the crafts, and have playgroups and playtime. They read all the expected books. But they can never achieve perfection. It's not possible.

I'm not out to be the perfect mom and I think if that's your goal, you're going to fail miserably. Those darn little kids get in the way of being able to be a perfect mom. I'm pretty happy with being a half-ass mom. I do the best I can and I laugh at the parts I'm not good at. For example, my cooking skills. I'm also really bad at reminding my kids to brush their teeth. I could go on and on.

My kids aren't going to be dressed perfectly with matching shoes and accessories. They aren't going to act properly all the time. They aren't going to succeed at every sport, or lesson known to man. They probably won't get perfect grades or always have their homework done on time. Lord knows, I'm not always going to be composed. But they will be loved and will know how to love and I think that's the most important thing I can do for them. They will also have a great sense of humor.

I'm glad I didn't get to see the whole hour of Oprah. I would rather let my kids watch too much tv and be a bad, happy mom than listen to the depressed overachievers who have failed at being perfect. My message for you? Strive for being mediocore mom and be happy. You'll be perfect in your kids eyes.

Why Can't I Finish the Laundry?

2009-06-26T10:25:00.003-04:00

Today I've decided to write about the vicious cycle of - one moment I need to refill some juice.

Where was I? Oh yes, the vicious cycle of laundry. Why is it that I never seem to be able to finish even one load a day? Oopps - hang on, I have a hiney that needs wiping.

I'm back. Sorry for that. Back to my discussion and deep thoughts. Oh wait, I hear the baby up from her nap. She's probably hungry.

Here I am again. Laundry. It's a vicious never-ending cycle that I hate. For some reason, I always forget to put the laundry in the dryer and when I return to it - the next day, it's all moldy smelling. So I normally have to wash it again.

Sorry for the interruption but I need to entertain my BORED kids. Maybe I'll tap dance for them. Geesh.

Alright, deep thoughts on laundry. Dang it - now the kids want lunch. Off to spoon feed the baby just to have her spit it out at me and laugh which creates more laundry.

Back again. I think I'm just going to forget about the laundry for today. And about writing about laundry. It just isn't that important today.

Strage Encounters

2009-06-24T09:25:00.002-04:00

I had two strange encounters with strangers this past week. The first started one morning when I was completely without kids just running a few errands. I decided to go visit my hang out, Dunkin Doughnuts. I bought some doughnuts for the kids, some bagels for myself and my husband and two coffees. I was walking out to my car and a woman stopped me and asked if I needed help.

Most people would be thankful which I was. But I was also shocked that someone stopped to try to help me when I simply had my hands full. I felt like telling her, "I'm a mom of three, this is nothing."

Now last night, I had more than my hands full. I took my kids to IHOP for dinner by myself. Everything went great until we finished and my son told me he needed to go potty. I grabbed the baby and my older daughter and we went to the restroom. Both older kids went into a stall and I just had that feeling in my stomach this was going to end badly. About two minutes later I heard, "Mommy, I pooped. You need to wipe my butt." At that moment, a woman entered the bathroom. I said to her, "Can you hold my baby while I wipe my son's butt?" She was a little taken aback by my rashness but she smiled and held out her arms for my daughter.

It was weird of me. I know that. You normally don't throw your baby at a stranger but desprite times call for desprite measures. It was that or sit my baby down on the floor of the bathroom. What would you have done?

It's strange to have the help of strangers. I almost feel offended when people offer me help and I don't need it yet, I'm so thankful when I find people willing to help out when I do need it. It is nice to know that there are nice, helpful people in the world. Especially for a mom of three with a son with a poopy butt.

Toot My Own Horn

2009-06-21T22:09:00.009-04:00

Not to toot my own horn but I wanted to share some new products Nanny Deprived has just started selling. I think these are ingenious, both invented and produced by moms, of course.

In every playgroup there is one. I like to refer to them as "The Cup Snatcher." You know what I'm talking about. The kid who likes to take a sip out of everyone else's cup. I'm not sure why they do it. Maybe it's curiosity or maybe they just don't know which cup is theirs. If you own a "Cup Snatcher", or are in a playgroup with one, then this product is for you.

These little plastic bands known as BumpyName Orbit Labels by Inchbug, and are engraved with your own personalization and stretch to fit on any baby bottle, sippy cup, sports bottle and anything in between. Fully microwavable and dishwasher safe, they come in four different colors and are only $12.95 for a 4 pack. It's a super idea for kids who go to daycare, playgroups or anywhere there may be other kids around. The bands allow your child to know and recognize their own cup easily.

Our next momtastic product is Reusable Sandwich or Snack Bags by Resnackit. Available in two sizes and many fabric choices, these bags are lined, washable and oh so cute. Great for sandwiches, chips, goldfish, bagels, crayons, small game cartridges, makeup or anything else you would nomally throw in a ziploc bag. Most moms spend over $300 a year on plastic sandwich bags. Save yourself some money and help out the planet by purchasing some reusable bags.

There you have it. Some fantastic products to help every mom be more momtastic! We'll continue to work hard to find more fun and functional products for moms!

Nicadism

2009-06-16T20:28:00.001-04:00

I left a comment on a friends blog today and Nicadism was the "word" I had to enter for the word verification. It left me wondering...what is Nicadism?

Perhaps its a condition where you chronically cut yourself during shaving leaving nics all over. Or maybe it's a medical condition where you have a blockage of brain functions due to watching too much Nickelodeon. Could it be the act of over dosing on Nicoderm gum? I like to think of it as a very quick trip to Nicaragua.

I think I may need to go back to work soon.

Why Do We Do This?

2009-06-14T20:15:00.000-04:00

Going out to eat with three kids is pure hell. I don't know why I continue to put myself through this hell. Come Friday, I want to go out. Come Friday night, I vow to never do it again. It's a vicious cycle I can't break. It reminds me a lot of my drinking binges in college except there is little alcohol involved.

My husband and I celebrated our 8th anniversary at our old favorite restaurant - Bahama Breeze. Having no family nearby or good babysitters on hand, we decided to bring the kids and sit outside near the bar. We thought it would be less formal and easier with the kids. Once my son's slushie hit the ground and burst, I could sense the hate in the room aimed at me and my family. All the happy hour, working class, 20-something kids were staring at us with pure hate. I could tell they wanted our loud kids and screaming baby out of their space.

So, it's back to Fudruckers, Chuck-E-Cheese and on special nights, Chili's for us. Having a video game on the premises is a requirement in our dining establishments. If there are no waitresses or waiters, that's an even bigger plus. The menu must consist of some sort of deep fried chicken and fries or else it's just not within our scope.

Maybe for our 16th anniversary we can try Bahama Breeze again. Without kids. And with lots of alcohol.

The Magic of the Magic Eraser

2009-06-11T12:37:00.003-04:00

A friend of mine mentioned that she needed to clean her baseboards of her house. I had an instant heart attack realizing that you are supposed to do that. For weeks it's been on my mind. One of those things on your to-do list you can't get rid of.

Today my 5 year old started complaining about how she was so bored. There was nothing to do. At that second, a light bulb went off. I showed her the "coolest thing ever" - the Magic Eraser. I told her how it was awesome at cleaning off dirt. I gave her a bucket full of warm water and some cleaning solution and the magic eraser and told her to try it out on the baseboards.

As I type, she's half way around the kitchen talking about how great it works. She has even asked if she can wipe the stains off the pantry door. I'm silently snickering to myself about how gullible she is. She hasn't realized she's been bamboozled into doing my dirty job. It's moments like this you realize how great having kids can be!

100th Post!

2009-06-09T22:36:00.002-04:00

This celebrates my blogs 100th post!

I feel like I should bake a big cake or something like they do on t.v. when series get to their 100th episode. Only thing is I'm too tired to bake or do anything special. I've spent all day pinning my kids down to squirt pink eye drops into their eyes. I also had a fun trip to the vet to pick up my dogs. Nothing like driving down the highway with three kids and two dogs. It's even more fun when one dog jumps in the baby's lap while your driving. Chaos. Pure and simple chaos. But then, that's what my blog is all about.

So, I'll take the easy road and invite you to read some of my favorite posts. Nothing like recapping as an easy way out.

Check these out:

The difference between the first and third baby

My followers

The Difference Between Boys and Girls

Toddler Boot Camp

Naughty Kid Photo Contest Entry Page

2009-06-09T18:20:00.026-04:00

Click here to see the current contest!

We don't want to see your cute kids...we want to see your naughty kids. Show us a time when you were truly "Nanny Deprived"!

HOW TO ENTER: Email one photo of your child during a naughty moment. Please include your name, email, and caption. If your photo is chosen to be in the contest it will stay on the Nanny Deprived Photo Contest page during the duration of the contest. Please email to: nannydeprived (at) gmail.com and write Photo Contest in the subject line.

HOW IT WORKS: A poll will be set up during the set contest time period and viewers will be able to vote for the best "Nanny Deprived" photo. The contestant with the most votes at the end of the contest time will be the winner.

WHAT YOU WIN: The winning parent will get their choice of a Nanny Deprived T-Shirt to properly flaunt the fact that they are indeed, Nanny Deprived. They will also get bragging rights that they have a truly naughty kid.

FINE PRINT: The contest dates will be set once we have enough pictures participating. After you enter, you'll receive an email with more information regarding voting, dates, prizes etc.

This contest will run from June 15th until July 6th. The winner will be the photo with the most votes on July 6th at noon EST (we can't stay up till midnight). The proud owner of the "Naughty Kid" will win their choice of a Nanny Deprived non-bling Mom T-shirt or a custom t-shirt made with the winning picture.

Glass Slippers Ain't so Shiny

2009-06-07T21:28:00.003-04:00

Today I spent 45 minutes digging Georgia clay out of Cinderella's glass slippers.

Before I begin on my tangent I'd like to acknowledge my daughter who thought the plastic shoes would be the perfect foot ware for digging up worms. I'd also like to thank Disney World who decided it would be tons of fun to imprint the Pumpkin Carriage in tedious detail on the bottom of the glass slippers. I just love the hollow cylinders in the heel which are at least an inch deep. The dirt, clay and dog poop just fit in there so perfectly.

Of course I couldn't throw out the shoes which is what I really wanted to do. I know I probably was suckered into spending an arm and a leg for them. Of course we had to buy them to match the dress, tiara, earrings, and wand. No princess outfit is complete without them. And with a second daughter soon to be infatuated with Princesses I knew I had to keep digging away.

And so there I stood, with my tiny screwdriver and hot water, cursing myself for buying them and shooting dirty looks at my daughter who was oblivious. At least they are all shiny and ready for the next worm adventure.

Mommy Math

2009-05-29T20:12:00.002-04:00

Some Mommy Equations for your enjoyment:

5 hours at the pool = 3 kids asleep before 6 pm.

3 kids + 2 dogs + 1 traveling husband = 1 exhausted mommy

3 meals a day X (1 baby + 1 toddler who eats anything + 1 Kindergartner who won't eat anything + 1 mom trying to loose weight + 1 dad trying to gain weight) = 15 separate meals a day cooked.

3 kids each wear an average of 2 outfits a day. 1 mommy wears two outfits a day due to babyspit. 1 Daddy wears 2 outfits a day. How many loads of laundry must be done a day to keep up? Answer: 14

If each of three kids can get out 1 toy every three minutes, how many toys are out after and hour? I can't answer because I'm too busy cleaning up toys.